This Layout is For Fauzy
20060110
Test Test. HEYEEAAAAHH.
<3<3<3<3
syaf_11:34 PM
[2] comments
20051229
syaf_9:54 AM
[0] comments
ape ni.
20051221
i worry too much. okok. maintainence.
haha i seldom chat with those in my contacts. so im making an effort to initiate conversations. currently, im chatting with adam. he's funny and talks alot. thats good. i dont like silent typers.
i am also reading up on "Houston, we have a problem". i was itching to know who the hell's this Houston. i asked adam and amazingly he knew. haha its the name of a base by the way. not some rocket scientist.
[time: 5.08am]
AHHAHHAHHA. I FELL ASLEEP AND LEFT EVERYTHING RUNNING.
sorry everybody. hahah. <3
:( i chatted with a friend a few hours ago and he told me something sad. afterwhich he appeared offline. im guessing he blocked me. -___-
ok its not confirmed whether we have meeting later or not. but it doesnt matter. im not going cos i realised i have quite a lot to do. the sketches are coming along fine. even though i only have around 5 pages. when im supposed to do 46. intensive drawing later. haha intensive seh.
syaf_6:30 AM
[1] comments
blessed
20051219
im so scared God will take this away from me.
im honestly afraid that this wont last. it's the same with friends and school. everything's been so good lately i cant help but wonder if it'll just disappear one day. i dont want this feeling to leave. im loving everything. ok almost everything. i still hate some parts of school but thats inevitable.
never have i been as happy as this. please dont let it go away.
met up with fauzy after school. went to tanjong pagar. he almost got a job as barista at starbucks but the hours didnt allow it. he'll be trying borders soon. hoho. i wish him all the best. then we went to art friend to get myself fabric paint to paint syikin a cold storage bag. have yet to get the bag. this is costing me >$5 but what the hey. i love giving people things. bile berkemampuan ah. hahah. art friend was lucky today. i actually bought the fabric paint even though it was begging to be stolen~ one day i'll have the colors of the rainbow. HA. THAT'LL TEACH YOU for ripping people off.
like this wanna work at art friend? tsk. hahai love fauzy's vans and his brown pants and his tbs shirt. ok maybe not the shirt. but i want his brown pants. and the black vans. so nice.
syaf_10:07 PM
[2] comments
i miss everything
20051218
im bored. fucking bored. knnbcb bored. haha it didnt make sense to put fucking in front of bored. so putting knnbcb in front of bored doesnt have to either. im listening to sum 41's Hell Song. the memories. i miss 2003 alot alot. i remember the first time i entered HMV. hmm i think it was after my bday cos i rmbr getting my coffee mug from liy, xp and jx on the same day. i remember drinking my coke from it at bk. haha. it was the same day we performed for Mr President wasnt it. and also the same day i walked around town in my sister's slippers. i miss the choristers. everybody's going everywhere now. and this stupid song isnt helping. i was thinking of joining the Voice Ensemble in school but what are the chances it'll be just like before? :( and im in too many things already. mY boY lOLlIpOp u MAkE My HeArT Go GiDDy-uP. haha i just dl-ed the damn song. SAPE NAK?! its so cute i swear. WOOOOOOOOO ANOHEFFAAXXEE. so what? so what? so WHAT?! nadia im so glad you joined choir. i dont know why im only saying this now, but ya. im ultraman glad you joined choir. i wanna round town. im meeting
zeefauzy tomorrow after school. zee just sounds weird. he went to swee lee today to get his multi-effects. whuargh. super jeles. haha sape nak lagu BOB?! this song is cute too i swear. haha i now have an Aqua song. omg. so techno. HAHA. orites man. this rocks. *bobs head* the girl is cute isnt she? i was kinda sad when they broke up. was that what happened? oh well. more Aqua songs! cartoon heroes! i liked that song! and around the world! oh yay! nanti aku send korang semue lagu cute-cute ni. kerenah orang yang sedang bosan. i refuse to click publish post. refuse refuse. then i would have nothing to do. HOI CEPAT LAH DOWNLOAD. ok i gotta go. i gottago draw nekkid ladies in obscene poses.
syaf_4:28 PM
[3] comments
Sports Fiesta
:)
20051217
celebrated fauzy's bday yesterday. i had fun. i have closure and i'm happy. he reminds me of someone and its scary. :x
syaf_7:25 AM
[0] comments
Mac Lab Infinity and Beyond
20051215
seems like i like to update when im in the mac lab. cant blame me. im sure you've heard me say it before that the mac keyboards have this overpowering effect on you. makes you wanna type and type and type and it doesnt really matter whether you're typing coherently or not. anywaywayaway. im supposed to come up with i think 4 more layouts. my brain is too fucking cramped. ok that was a lie. the keyboard was calling out to me. i dont know which mofo is listening to music with the volume at maximum. ok nevermind NERVERMIND. see. i forgot what i wanted to say.
dee. i love you many many. i dont want to see you sad. *hugs* double breakfast soon ok? haha. whats that supposed to mean, i dont know. ok we'll queue twice and buy 2 meals. let's make elsie's day.ok eric is here. i have mixed feelings bout this guy but im leaning towards HATE. he's nice so what? he's biased. i really dont like teachers who give you shitface when you've done them no wrong and then they give other kids happy laughy mofoface. its demoralising and i think its plain rude. kanninna. it seems like he's in a bad mood. too bad lorr...
Zebra likes Dog. but Dog's Mother say cannot like Zebra back. why?cos people with tattoo no good.
Panda likes Deer. but Deer's mother say cannot like Deer back. why?cos people who wear sunglasses very bad.
this is a good oneBull likes Rat. but Rat'c mom say cannot like back. why?cos people with noserings very bad.
HAHA. FUCK. I LAUGED LIKE SIAO WHEN I HEARD THE SUNGLASSES ONE. NEVER HAVE I LAUGHED SO HARD AND LOUD. HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAA FUCK. IM SO THANKFUL I DIDNT HEAR IT IN CLASS. I WOULD'VE BEEN KICKED OUT.
we had live audio meeting yesterday. if not for dee and her help all this while, i would have died of embarrassment. thank you. i cannot say that enough times. love you muchos. after what happened yesterday it'd be stupid if we didnt come clear. but the thing is, hadnt i said anything, i dont think he would have said anything. damn it. what is wrong with that boy. he frustrates me in more ways than one. ergh. im supposed to meet him tomorrow. so we'll see what happens.
I just wanna say, haris is a complete and utter siak.
'MAK, KENAPE SLUAR NI GATAL? I WILL REMEMBER THAT DAY'
'FLINT, FLINT. APE NAK JADIK NGAN KAU?'
laugh my ass off.
now we're a little bit closer to knowing each other better. how sweet.
whuargh. can i get out of this class? please?
syaf_12:32 PM
[0] comments
Mac Lab Infinity
20051213
In the mac lab again.
Ass 2 sounds fun. Create a star poster. the instrucions are crapass though. no prizes for guessing who im gonna do. firstly cos i dont have any prizes to give you, and secondly, i dont even know who im gonna do. hoho. why only singers/sport stars? shiet. i was thinking of pardee or one of those artists. they blocked deviantart! DAMN THEM FOOLS. now i have nothing to do. ok i can go find someone to work on..
God, can i have my own label? i'd like to start one. hoho. freshbox eats dust correct?
whuargh.
i think i think i think i'll go draw something now.
DEE. TAKE CARE OK. (:(:(:
syaf_12:12 PM
[1] comments
oohlala
20051211
im taking a break from working on the posters. i have 2 more to go. brrrrgh. i want to do a proper update now so sod the posters.
dee & i went to boat quay to discuss the posters yesterday. the weather was beautiful cos the skies were grey but it didnt rain. i was so thankful for that. wish we can have that kinda weather everyday. we came up with 8, split the work and now im struggling to comeplete 2. not sure how the hell im supposed to go bout doing them. brrrgh. then dee came over! haha she came over like 3 times this week. and i think she set the record on thurs, going home only when it was nearing midnight. her bro picked her up. so sweet right.
this week was fun. i think. i had fun in storyboarding. i didnt regret not skipping class that day. typo was shit. like always. but i sort of had fun coming up with designs. even though i was only 20% awake. i was late for animation. it was a bore this week. maybe because i wasnt sitting with leong. i was sitting alone at the back. :( haha! drawing's getting progressively better but i have to come up with 20 pages of sketches by tomorrow. i think i'll be sleeping late again tonight. meep. thats all on school this week. haha.
i hope he tells me soon. if not i'll do it for him. haha i'l tell myself! ya. i hope he tells me when we meet. then then then i'll be at peace. :(
OH YA. ISKANDAR IS SO NICE! I WAS SO BLOODY HONOURED WHEN HE ASKED US OUT FOR LUNCH. ITS ALWAYS US WHO ASK PEOPLE TO LUNCH WITH US. BUT NO. THIS DUDE ASKED US. I WAS SO PHWOAR-ED. and he's damn funny so thats a plus plus plus. hee! i cannot wait for ogl camp next year. hoorah! im thinking of the fun we'll have! yay! i love sdn clubbers! haha. ive turned into a nerd. woo~!
syaf_4:51 PM
[2] comments
fata
blue lips
dee cute eh
3 days ago. emo superheroes. hoho. i think my pics are badly edited. haha.
super DEE dooper
wheeee
the movies. i'll post them later. i wanna dit them nicely. haha.
girl says:Oh why can't I be what you need?
A new improved version of me
But I'm nothing so good
no, I'm nothing
Just bones, a lonely ghost burning down songs
of violence of love and of sorrow
I beg for just one more tomorrow
where you hold me down, fold me in
deep, deep, deep in the heart of your sins
I break in two over you, oh
I break in two
And each piece of me dies
And only you can give the breath of life
But you don't see me, you don't
Here I'm pinned between darkness and lightBleached and blinded by these nights
where I'm tossing and tortured 'til dawn
by you, visions of you then you're gone.
The shock bleeds the red from my face
when I hear someone's taken my place.
How could love be so thoughtless, so cruel?
When all, all that I did was for you
I break in two over you, oh
I break in two
and each piece of me dies
and only you can give the breath of life
But you don't see me, you don't
I break in two over you, oh
I break in two over you, over you
I break in two
I would break in two for you
Now you see me
Now you don't
Now you need me
Now you don't
guy says:You might be just what I need
No I would not change a thing
Been dreaming of this so long
But we only exist in this songThe thing is, I'm not worth the sorrow
And if you come and meet me tomorrow
I will hold you down, fold you in
Deep, deep, deep in the fiction we liveI break in two over you
I break in two
And if a piece of you dies
Autumn, I will bring you back to life
Of course I see you
I do.
sad sad songs. especially the second one. fata makes awesome lullabies. listen to them before you sleep. its so relaxing.
i love our morning/night messages. :x
syaf_12:41 AM
[0] comments
to dee
20051208
i forgot to write this in the previous post.
THANKS SO MUCH. :)and pictures!
us in green
flint
fattah. cute kan!
:D
haris lawa.
haris macam ikn duyung kan.
haha. pheeeewit!
BE NICE TO US.
syaf_11:30 AM
[1] comments
mari emo sama-sama
20051207
my mind's pretty fucked up right now after finding out the things i did. i am almost heartbroken. i dont know why i let it get to me. maybe because i do like him that much. he's gonna tell me about it soon and that will be it. i am not angry. i am sad and disappointed. i know its not his intentions to hurt but the thing is, he has. or he
will be rather. but how can he let me lean against his shoulders. how can he make me feel like time cannot get any faster when im with him. it is probably my fault. but for once. i thought this could be different. i should have
never gotten my hopes up so high. since i know more than he thinks i do, i'll save him. i'll do what it takes to make everything seem like normal and that i never had anything for him. it's NOT about being the gallant one. i think it's called being nice. friends before everything else. so yea.
MOVING ON.
i had a great day today! dee and i wore green! no kite tak janji. we did a good deed today cos we donated blood. woo! its an experience like no other (which experience comes with free food? hoho). it was also then that i found out my weight. WHUARGH. i dont think i'm healthy anymore. too much macs i tell you!
then for the first time, we met fattah. HAHA. man! the dude's bursting with childlike energy. he was so friendly. watching his antics was amusing. we played some songs at macs and basically annoyed those who were there. flint was there and we found out just how intellectual he is. looks like a mat but talks like a scholar. what he had to say was so interesting. and he could talk about other guys! haha. gosh i can go on and on. i wish he didnt wanna quit LA. i'll miss seeing him flirt with Ili. :(
the meeting was like any other meetings but with lesser people.
and that about sums up my day. which was quite okay. haha. sorry. i just had to make it rhyme. speaking of rhyme. i have storyboarding to do now. erk. :x lucky im not sleepy. haha ok bye.
*stay tuned for pictures. im toolaazy to ul them*
syaf_7:37 PM
[0] comments
i love teppei
again, the title has nothing to do with my post. hoho.
argh. hazly's really good with his words. chatting with him is always fun. and it's so cute when he speaks malay because that's rare. i love it when guys speak good english (not those who dont arent cute :B). it's just super sad that he lives in another continent.
Faux says:did u know that im kinda in love with u?
O__O i think i'll go die now.
syaf_7:23 AM
[0] comments
mac lab 3
20051206
i am in the mac lab...alone! dee's in the next room animating. wow the test was supposed to be fun i guess. it looked fun but the bloody lecturers kept talking. i was so fucking pissed. i couldnt concentrate and all i wanted was to get out and just forget bout the fucking test. i calmed down after a while and was getting the hang of things when this lecturer came and started telling me to do things. it spoiled my model and i got even MORE pissed. he fiddled with the model. fiddled and fiddled and wasted 5 minutes. it din help that eugene kept screaming how much time we had left. i watched as this fucker destroy my model in silence.
....
but he more than made up for it when he rebuilt my model. he was "showing" me what i could have done and conveniently did half the work for me. hoho. he was a maya master no doubt bout that. what took us forever, took him 5 minutes. so yea.
dee, dier cikgu kau tu ah. aku lupe name dier. haha. dier baik tapi walauweh part dier kacau model aku.....wah. only God knew how mad i was.it's so nice sitting here alone. hoho let's play THRICE. wow i am seriousy alone. haha. im so
jakon cos the mac lab is alays occupied. i should prolly do my filming now but i have 3 hour later. so i'll do it then. nyeheheh. revolution ultra blue melodic battle cry. mmm dustin, you are a clever man. i love what you write.
Not a lot right now makes sense to me
And it won’t go quietly
Not a lot right now makes sense to me
And it won’t sit patiently
I’m gonna chase my dreams and catch up to them
I’m gonna find you some how, some way, somewhere, some day
First day of the rest of our lives, I miss you already
Last time I saw that look in your eyes, I miss you already
First day of the rest of our lives, I miss you already
Last time I saw that look in your eyes, I miss you already
I don’t want to spend the rest of my life alone
Where’s life taking me?
I don’t want to spend the rest of my life alone
Always traveling
I’m gonna chase my dreams and catch up to them
I’m gonna find you some how, some way, somewhere, some day
First day of the rest of our lives, I miss you already
Last time I saw that look in your eyes, I miss you already
First day of the rest of our lives, I miss you already
Last time I saw that look in your eyes, I miss you already
I wanna love my job
I wanna love my life
But most of all, I wanna fall in love
First day of the rest of our lives, I miss you already
Last time I saw that look in your eyes, I miss you already
First day of the rest of our lives, I miss you already
Last time I saw that look in your eyes, I miss you already
-
mxpx, for the rest of our livessong of the moment. hoho.
syaf_10:22 AM
[1] comments
queen wols
20051205
I am going deaf and nowadays i take a
very long time to catch balls. what is wrong with me?
had lunch with dee and fauzy. i wanna have lunch with the whole of live audio! confirmed riot. one day we shall meet up and have lunch together. or maybe dinner. i dont care. as long as we all eat together.
i made chicken curry with potatoes. lol. i can also make fish curry with potatoes.
dee left for class and then i accompanied fauzy all the way to jurong. sat and talked for a while. wow. i really hope its not my imagination. im so afraid it is. knowing my luck, it probably is. sad right? then if it really is... then. i wont do anything cos. ya what can i do right. *bitter laugh*
dont dwell on it dont dwell on it dont dwell on it. i love mr calvin. he made me love drawing again. and i also love him for making us complete 20 pages of gesture drawings by this friday. :D:D:D:
i read carmen's blog bout us singaporean kids who write mundane stuff in our blogs while american kids write about politics. well good for them! cos their government practices freedom of speech! ours doesnt! those who speak freely lose their freedom! *cheers* BUT then, even if our govt allowed freedom of speech, i doubt many will write about politics. cos you know we're just plain ignorant. the only thing we care about is movie ratings. haha ok, thats all
I care about anyway. ok maybe we call be supportive enough of what our govt does. maybe just once we can say,"Hey! great job! we'll support you! for the peace justice and equality of this country we'll support you!" but how can we? they're treating us like little kids. they're gonna air tab tv and you cant help but notice the glaring "MATURE CONTENT" at the top left hand corner whenever the commercial comes on. EXCUSE ME. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SAYING? is that supposed to be a warning? i really dont know what that is supposed to mean but you know issues they'll be touching on are issues that everybody needs to know about. i do mean everybody. matured or not. haha omg. i hope they didnt think it'll upset viewers. tehhht. THATS NOT mature. hoho. open up your minds and remove those stamps from your eyes. society's growing up now. guide us, not stop us. on to movie ratings. "more ratings = more variety" BULL
SHIT. more restrictions = more freedom? THAT'S SCREWED.
talking bout what i ate today and why tom dick and harry made me angry is more fun that ranting bout things i can
barely care aboout.
i need confirmation. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10. please give me confirmation. :(
syaf_8:10 PM
[0] comments
Sawan X
20051204
I am so smitten~
bile nak tukar layout ni?Dee, your brother is very entertaining to listen to. ya. im listening to that aegyptie/alt+dlt cd. haha
/edit
time: 10.22pm
oh no. i think i'm in love with you
oh no. i'm hoping you'd want me too
so please don't let me down-
mocca, i think i'm in lovetheir songs are so cute! and BANANA IS THEIR FAN! haha how adorable is that? he sent me like 5 songs. and he was telling me how his character in silkroad online is a pretty chinese zombie which floats around instead of hop cos it'll look spastic if it did. "must have grace.". haha
i think i'm infatuated. woo~!
anything syaf, anything that makes you happy.
im sending dee songs and prolly sleeping after this. i think i just wasted my weekened. brrrgh.
and nad is back!
//edit
syaf_10:59 AM
[1] comments
bored people talk sense
20051203
Liberator says:ABSENCE OF HEART MAKES ABOYAMANAMONSTER
Liberator says:aboyamanamon its a new type of pokemon
bubububfu23hpotgh1308tu138th1w4gj;w4ijg/ says:ISIT
bubububfu23hpotgh1308tu138th1w4gj;w4ijg/ says:what does it do
Liberator says:it sends worm beams
Liberator says:and cover u in maggots
Liberator says:*covers
bubububfu23hpotgh1308tu138th1w4gj;w4ijg/ says:oh my god
bubububfu23hpotgh1308tu138th1w4gj;w4ijg/ says:that sucks
Liberator says:yup
bubububfu23hpotgh1308tu138th1w4gj;w4ijg/ says:thats a disgusting pokemon
Liberator says:yup.lucky they can only live in swamps while we stand on both legs
bubububfu23hpotgh1308tu138th1w4gj;w4ijg/ says:oh
bubububfu23hpotgh1308tu138th1w4gj;w4ijg/ says:later i go catcj
bubububfu23hpotgh1308tu138th1w4gj;w4ijg/ says:catch*
bubububfu23hpotgh1308tu138th1w4gj;w4ijg/ says:use my pikachu n thunderbolt.
syaf_7:38 PM
[0] comments
sss.... i was thinking....
20051202
ytd was my sister's birthday. happy birthday.
HAHA! macam tak ikhlas. kk. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SYAMIN. I LOVE YOU MANY MANY.
i have pictures. lots of them.
today is one of those days. one of those days that i dont bother to shower or clean my room. so my room is a sty and i smell like a pig. nice right? i dont quite know how pigs smell like but i dont wanna find out. our conversations often leave me feeling unsettled. maybe i like him because he likes to disturb me. haha this is damn childish. i should get over myself. brrgh. its probably just my imagination. woosh. GET A GRIP LA. i shouldnt be thinking about this. cos im only 17 and i like clouds way too much.
syaf_7:27 PM
[0] comments
mac lab 2.1
20051130
hi. i'm not in mac lab. i'm at home. hohoho. had LA meeting. oooooh love. even though we had to wait for 1 hour++. banana very cute. aHaaaaa~! dont give us that sweet smile of yours la. ape kau ingat aku tak tau. ape puji-puji seluar aku? *but thanks ar. haha* oh gosh. see. im so minah. you almost got me fooled again. *oh mat, sorry* ALMOST. yea. ili is very interesting to watch. he was playing with the scotchtape like it was the funnest thing and he pasted it on his shoe like he does it everyday. then he let it be and puts on this blank face. shit. if i had a videocam (haha borrow from VIDI), i would tape him for one whole day. damn it'll be so interesting. i wish ikay stayed. he's so nice to talk to. haris *i insist he has an Alfred face* brought these HUGE shades. hoho. like you'd go into a virtual world if you wore it. today i talked to a lot of people and asked them things that i usually dont care about and maybe still dont. i asked daniel bout bowling. and why he had 4 balls. interesting. he's been playing competitively since he was 15 and now he's playing for NYP. then there was Joseph and his maths. he was doing calculus and showed me cosh (cos+hypo)!! freak. it was fascinating. then there was guo jie and his physiotherapy. wow. he went through JC, has an A level cert and now doing this course. he hopes to work in a sports center after working in a hospital. woo! go guo jie and he's the champ for the dj thang. WOO. its so cool! he said to bring baby oil and he'd massage us! so wah. i mean, i dont want him to be like a messeur or what. it's cool that he knows how to fix joints and shit. then i talked to the SEG dude about the xmas thing. and asked him if he was i/c of SIT club and more about the event. wow. it'll be a masquerade! and it is a charity event! wheeeee. then on the same day, we have the sdn party! wooooo. suddenly i celebrate xmas. hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm. he makes me uncomfortable actually. not cute anymore. hoho. but he's cute la. hohohoohoho. tak suke. ah im torn la. i dono lah. nevermind. adam potong rambot. hehe dier cute. and he's baik! hehe. mau pandai handle. hafiz pon potong rambot. they both look good. personality+looks=plusplusplus but in poly, i've learnt to look beyond looks. correct dee! cos dee say one. not me. i say MAOAM.HAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHMAOAMAHAHAHHAHAHAHNOT YOAM! ITS MAOAM! LMFAO. HAHAHAAHAH HAIRY SWIMMERS!!!!!!!! AHHAHAHAAHAHAH SHIT. SAB SHUD JOIN DRAMA. funny sia. see. abrupt lauughter, no aftereffects and lotsa ramblings. thats how i behave in poly. (Y)(Y) ini maciam hidop bagus. manya bagus. correct dee! again! aahahhahaha whoa. entry ni sudah menjadi sebuah essay! ini kalau print. berpage-page. i plan to do that. print out all my entries that i have ever written and compile them. cos you know, you never knw when the net might crash. HAHHAHAHAHA. ok. dah seblom aku start bebual pasal life aku.
syaf_8:13 PM
[0] comments
mac lab 2
you choked off the surest of favours but if you really loved me you would have endured my reign
-welcome home, co&ca
THE WORLD IS SO FUCKIG SMALL.
and the playlist in this comp rocks. IT HAS EVERYTHING. almost. woohoo. johnny you rule! whoever you are.
sejuknya jari-jemariku.
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. eugene wong just walked by. ape tengok-tengok.
one last kiss for you one more wish till you pls make up ur mind girl id do anything for you.
i think bising-bising has something against me. :( ah well. you cant make everyone like you. maybe she hates my face. *sigh
oh ya. we're supposed to hand up designs for ogl and freshie shirts. hoho.
wow. the clash's version of come on eileen i so... hahahahhahhahah. ya its so hahahahhahhahah. HAHAH IS THAT A BANJO I HEAR?! AHAHAHAH POOR OLD JOHNNY RAY!!
this entry is so pointless but there's just something about apple keyboards. they make you wanna type ad type even though your fingers are blue thanks to the cold. and it doesnt matter if you have a googol of typos. cos the feel is just so nice it doesnt really matter what you'r typing.
i'm done for the day actually but waiting for the Safety Helmet briefing (-_-") and then LA meeting. He called me, yo! lol. like ALL my crushes that i've had so far... none i'm serious about. i dont think im seriously crushing on this one either. hahah. wow the clash is covering the kinks! they are full of wows.
ok i really dont have much to say.
i must be a loser to still like a loser. a bigger loser...... cos i keep thinking bout it....... doesnt help that i unblocked him. oh syaf what have u doneto yourself.
syaf_2:22 PM
[0] comments
mac lab
20051129
dont you know, water is poison.
Doraemon (ドラえもん) is the assistant and helper of Nobita sent back in time by Sewashi.
Doraemon originally had ears but they were bitten off by a robot mouse. As a result, he has an excessive fear of mice, despite being a robotic cat.
Doraemon's favourite food is dorayaki, a gong-shaped sweet. Many think that this is the origin of his name. However, it was revealed in one of the manga that his name originates from a Japanese word for "stray cat", dora neko, and the emon ending which is part of traditional Japanese names, as seen in, for example, Horiemon.
Dorami-chan (ドラミちゃん) is the younger sister of Doraemon. She lives in the 22nd-century Tokyo with Sewashi, Nobita's great-great-grandson. She likes melon buns. She is afraid of cockroaches. She seems to be superior to Doraemon. She sometimes visits Nobita with a time machine
click here for
more. HAHA!
darling hold me cause i'm scared.
syaf_11:36 AM
[1] comments
conflicting memories
20051128
i just made up the title. nothing to do with the post.
met up with yazid and annas after school. had fun as usual. it seems their fan film is already on its way. yaz showed me these cool videos taken during their saber practice [cool right? they practise using kendo sticks and they do it at the esplanade]. his friend added in the special effects using adobe premiere and i tell you, it was so awesome. that few seconds was amazing. i was blown away.
then annas came over to take the ps7 cd. hung out for a while. haha a while was until 9. hoho.
here are some riddles (so that i'll never forget)..
asal baju superman kecik?jadik bile dier terbang, tak masok angin. HAHAHHAH no la. the real answer is...
sebab baju dier size S.ade satu bridge ni. bridge ni kuat skali. lori drive over it, takde pape. but when a car drove over it, dier roboh. kenape?sebab bridge dier kuat SKALI. banyak-banyak mi, mi ape paling berat?me wantan (one tonne)banyak-banyak mi, mi ape dalam tin?mi-lobanyak-banyak mi, mi ape ckp tagalog?mi Siambanyak-banyak mi, mi ape ckp cine?mi hong kongHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAHA. i love riddles. but im not a good guesser. then again, no one likes to guess correctly anyway.
listening to eisley reminds me of the time before poly started. the time when i went to town alone cos all my friends were at school. :'( so sad aye? but i remember no matter how lonely i was, i had fun talking to myself. haha! sick.
yay! hair getting longer! im so happy! and im more tembam. can you see?
see...
ya, i camwhore. i camwhore alone. hohohoho.
syaf_10:10 PM
[3] comments
hip hop la rasta II
20051126
mmm
20051124
so i havent been in school for 2 days. was in school ytd but didnt attend lectures. and i didnt attend school the whole of today thanks to major cramps. it hurt like hell in the morning but got progressively better towards late afternoon. forced myself out of bed and went to bras basah with dee.
i dont like how the seiors talk to us. it might have started out as a joke. but you know what. TAK KLAKA LAH SIAL. YOU FUCKING THREW THIS EVENT AT US, DONT LIE IT'S FUCKING OBVIOUS, AND YOU TREAT US LIKE DOG SHIT. WHAT THE FUCK. TAK BOLEH BEBUAL BAIK-BAIK EH? SPEECH DEFICIENCY IZZIT? OR IS IT BRAIN DAMAGE? DONT TREAT US LIKE IDIOTS. IF WE ARE, IT'S THANKS TO YOUR LACK OF PROPER TEACHING. ASSHOLES. and the looks i throw adam is not for fun ok. it's because i am REALLY pissed off. why the hell would i wanna look at him funny all the time? and i wonder why people quit. AND
YOU WONDER WHY PEOPLE QUIT. heh. thats it, i've gotten this off my chest and im happy.
he sounds like he cares while i dont. it might be out of social niceties he's doing it, but he never tires of doing so. the perfect boyfriend. words are just words. they mean nothing but i have nothing to lose.
i pray for your safety guys. have fun at Indon!
syaf_8:29 PM
[0] comments
F is for Fuck. R is for Rabak.
YES. i am doing typography. i'm only 40% done. no sleep for me tonight it seems. ok. i took a nap at 10. intended to wake up at 12. but people started messaging me at 11. couldnt continue sleeping after that. doesnt help that the weather's cold. i'm taking a break while staring at my letter R. i think i'll have a heart attack now. R GOT HOLE! what was i thinking. i still have storyboarding to do. wahahha. so much for wanting to work harder this semester. -__-
SWEATDROP. HAHAHHAHAH.
they had sdn meeting just now. i couldnt attend cos i had 3D. :( i wanted to hang out with them! they were discussing orientation summore. haha i cant help it. i love my clubmates.
they played
i miss you at mac just now. .... i cannot get over it. i dont think i ever will. does that make me pathetic? i guess so. whoever said it's better to have loved and lost is cow dung. LOL~! no, im not gonna go into that
love crap.back to my letters!
syaf_1:22 AM
[0] comments
harry potter and the goblet of fire
20051122
after school, had lunch with half of 05 at fj. passed out flyers. met this girl. she must have thought she knew me. haha! saw syazwani and yazid. he's too lazy to go for l.a. now. :( ah well. i left for the lib and met wadi and ain along the way. wadi is..nice. haha not as uhm
reptilian as we thought. lol. i passed them the rest of the flyers and that, freed me of my burden. i thought of waiting for dee to finish class but yazid messaged me asking me to meet him.
he treated me to Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire!! that's the good thing bout having guy friends? ok that had no connection. the movie was breathtaking. shall watch it again this friday. this time, i have to pay for the ticket myself. haha hopefully going with 05 and dee. i hope they have an extended version of the movie on dvd. cos i wasnt really satisfied. i want more! i'm not a die-hard fan or a fan to begin with, but you know, when you've read the book, your expectations tend to be higher. or maybe it's just me.
yazid, for one, is definitely NOT a fan. not util tonight. lol. he loved the movie.
me: i cant wait for the 6th movie to come out. i'll bawl my eyes out i dont care. the thing is, the actors dont look the age their supposed to play.
yazid: ya. cos of that the impact wasnt there. so that means they need a new cast! then i'll audition for harry potter. then it'll be
Hairi Potek dan Putera Stengah Darah.HAHHAHAHAHA shiet.
tomorrow dee is gonna hypnotise me with her stupid songs. lol. weee. see how nice this entry is without me talking bout my fucked-up modules?
he loves me and i LOOOOOVE him. haha. AHAAAAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA DEE JUST PUT MY DORAEMON AS HER DP. LMFAO.
syaf_10:25 PM
[3] comments
raya
maybe i'm posting this too late (or too early. its 5.26am haha) but i can't help feeling a bit sad when i look at others so happy raya-ing with their friends. i know many of us weren't in the mood. maybe we had a bad organiser (bahahaha) or maybe we really just caouldnt be bothered.
last sunday's outing was called off cos zu had something on. im guessing nani tried to fix another date but by then i was really in no mood. then i don't know what's up with us, splitting ourselves into 2. we have all fallen apart. and i, being the asshole that i am, havent replied annas. i totally forgot about the PAE outing. totally slipped off my mind, till i read annas's msg on the day itself. which he sent me 2 days before. :x
i hope next year
all of us will set aside time for us.
is it too late to go jalan raya? :S
and yaaaay~! 3D's postponed! ...to wednesday 2.30pm. brrrgh. but yaaaay~! i dont have to wake up early! sick. it's 5+ in the morning and I AM AWAKE.
syaf_5:26 AM
[1] comments
mood-less
20051121
i am not really in the mood to blog these days. but since im doing nothing and i have yet to take off my stockings, i'll type out a few sentences.
haha not in the mood the whole day. since morning. im so thankful dad sent me to school. i got so pissed during drawing cos my work was bullshit. furthermore, zal and daryl were next to me. the reason i moved was to get away from them. no one knows how stressed i am looking at their beautiful pieces. so when kingston moved only to be replaced by zal, i felt like crying. i felt like breaking my pencil into 2 and just get the hell out of class.
then i met dee and her gang for lunch. only to be pissed off again. thanks to adam who messaged without stating time and place. ass. lunch was okay. ima came and i went home. i didnt wanna lug my portfolio around town (doesnt matter anyway since it's cancelled). met ima again and started on the flyers. ima is good company. haha same sense of humour. not afraid to laugh. very good. she laughed till she teared. lol. then she had to go. i went off to find mimi to pass her flyers. hoho mimi suggests we have the meeting this wed only amongst ourselves. no seniors. cos we all know what a nuisance they are.
then i went to the station, found out he couldnt meet me at the agreed time. got slightly pissed off and lazy. so i just cancelled it. knowing him, i'd have to wait hours.
thats my few sentences for today. gonna come early for class tomorrow. would like to adjust my 3D train. oh yaaaaaayy. i have cheese in my bag, and i'd like to eat it.
syaf_3:37 PM
[1] comments
stills time!
20051119
*scroll for captions, yo*
thanks
dee for the camera! lub you many many!
lunch at beach road was very filling. too filling. haha :x we actually spent 30 mins walking trying to get to sunshine plaza from city hall. what a workout! its funny la. i bet we were really close. Cos of the tall buildings, we got lost. we gave up and headed to bras basah instead. oohlala~ headed back to school to do maya. hoho. i had fun i suppose cos of my crazy classmates. sitting next to rickson will always leave u laughing like siao. haha and jason was visibly happier. lol. cos what? he finished a whole set of japanese egss all by himself? lmao! by the time i was almost done it was already nearing 8 i think. haha dee looked so stressed. so nehmind i decided we share. hoho. i love sharing.
LOVE YOU TOO DEE <3!! i sound so lesbee. khekhekhe. hahahahaha. wth. so that was my day... reached home around 9++. slept like a log from 12 till 10. 10 hours of sleep. not enough liao.
shiet. if i were a guy i'd marry any girl who sounds like brody. ergh.
shah is so fucking cute i swear. ergh. maybe he's damn attractive cos he's cute AND he chats with me. i dont get THAT a lot. haha.
this song is damn romantic and hot cos brody's singing haha.
When I see you lay down
Under
Pink lacquered skies
Baby,
I'll give you something
That'll shut your eyes
To this mess
When I love you baby
I mean it more than
just the whole world
And when,
I take a picture
thats instant
Lost tonight
oh baby it burns
I said
I remember it so
I saw your eyes
Go through the tunnel
and I remember
Australian sun
I was eight years old
You were Marilyn Monroe
oh ya gotta take it
oh yeah take it on
playing backyard Blues
blackheart stuck up in their jaw
I can nail
I'll nail this on
Oh she ain't the whole world
Break it down
Oh I've tasted
I tasted too
too many nights
Lost in space
I remember
kneeling down
On my knees
caught in the ground
When I love you baby
I mean it more than just
the whole world
And when
saw gypsy rose
Gypsy rose
she rose to me
I remember
a rolling stone
Oh rolling on down
through your bones
Oh ya gotta save,
you gotta save your soul
well She ain't
the whole world
When I love you baby
I mean it more than just
the whole world
And when
saw gypsy rose
Gypsy rose
she rose to me Baby
I love you baby
I mean it more than just
the whole world
And well
when I know your sin
I know your sin
I know your wings
-
the distillers, gypsy rose leei'll send it to you guys when i'm online hehe.
syaf_10:48 AM
[0] comments
DEMAM
20051117
BEST.
syaf_11:38 PM
[0] comments
moon people
im in mac lab. i have an hour to kill before lecture. typo is so boring. leong is soundly sleeping next to me. i am chatting with my sis. this will take some time to get used to hoho. sooooo the moustach-ed guy is anderew. haha.
2 days ago, i went to TP's 15th anniversary musical. yazid had free tickets and asked me and annas to come along. but annas had a match and confirmed it too late so i just went ahead with yazid. yazid's friends are whacked. very much like the ATC people only crazier i believe. phase for the night,"busok ah!" lol. one of them was exactly like yuran except the voice was more, em, octaved. lol. it's like
pecah tak jadik. hahahha but he was soooo cute and he dressed well. :D haha and they called him iguana.
the musical itself was enjoyable. maybe i say that cos i got free tickets. lol. no, seriously, it was a job well done but too much propaganda la. its sooo obvious they're trying to sell tp. and whats with the product endorsement? hahah. some parts were funny and some parts were sad. OOH THEY SANG DAHIL SAIYO!! made me miss choir for a while. hoho 3 girls dressed up cabaret style (eh?), with feather boas and glittery gowns no less and they called themselves The Supremes. they sashayed out after ever scene and sang out nursery rhymes. uber sexxay ya know. huhoo~
the music was live, played by Mr Richard Wee. the guy who takes students for visual communications i think cos i spoke to him before. talented whacked guy. the director is Mr Sonny Lim and i dont like him that much. acording to yazid, he's only professional friendly. not someone you should mess with. this musical costed TP $70 000. oohlala~!
37 more minutes...
yesterday was nice. planned to go to city hall to sit at coffee bean before la meeting but decided against that cos the weather was just too hot. sat at starbucks wheelock instead. hoho. i never knew bagels were hard. but it was chewy and big.
the la meeting was better than the last. thas all i can say. wish they'd quit speaking in Malay. ya so what if most of us are malay. it's rude la. then trust-fall for the new pres [in-training i suppose]! hoho. fauzi is soooo nice. cant believe he's a year older. :x
"korang takde bakat ah!"
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA SIAK. i'll use that from now on. ok i wont give up on la.
zul, ini hiphop la rasta untuk kamu. considering that the rest dont give a shit.
29 more minutes. ok zzz time. pictures will be up soon..er or later....
syaf_2:32 PM
[0] comments
yesterday's pics
20051114
i love this pic! accidental flash
i dono what to say. im really sorry. never meant it the way it sounded. like i predicted, this friendship is soured cos you cant bullshit me and say you feel indifferent after what i said to you. :(
syaf_11:38 PM
[0] comments
i cant draw anymore.
i hate going to school in the mornings. especially if it's a monday and i hafta drag my portfolio around. dammit. im gonna get a bag for it. the crowd in the morning can kill. i felt like pulverising all of them. what's wrong with the school? have more night classes la. at least the students wouldnt have to fight each other to get to class on time. especially those with protfolios. yes. im sour about it. it's damn big. i almost took a taxi to school cos the crowd really turned me off.
we had a replacement for calvin today cos he's on reservice for 2 weeks. the tutor is old but he's funny. his teaching style is very different from calvin but everyone just keeps quiet and pays attention. it's all figure drawing and i realised how badly i draw. it's horrendous. everything is out of proportion and the lines- too many! my drawings are disgusting. i really wasnt in the mood to draw. but today was fun cos the tutor made us take turns to stand in the center of the room and pose for the rest. i havent had a go. and hope i wont ever get to go. ahahah. thats about it. im getting fat. like really. gotta stop eating. hmm. i heard there's storyboarding homework. how strange.
syaf_1:36 PM
[0] comments
Happy Birthday Errik!
20051113
Errik's home is so lovely! i
could have stayed there forever. It's clean and zen-like. and under the stairs, there was this pond.
inside got goldfish so cute! then there're skylights(is that what it's called?). just blows you away.
we got him a nicely-wrapped Star Warped. hope he enjoys it. lol.
the birthday boy and some of his friends put up a gig for us which i think made him happy. found out how talented he and his friends were. especially alvin. he played four different instruments. banjo, guitar, keyboard and bass. and he can sing. im just so awed by that. they played mostly country rock which was okay. and he played wonderwall for us too! and i completely melted when errik sang
when you say nothing at all. it was so whoa. which is also all i can say for the gig's set-up. what with all the equipment which includes various instruments, amplifiers, that thing with lotsa knobs, mike stands, keyboard stand, music sheet stands, guitar stands... the whole thing was just awesome.
errik got us catered food. we had nasi briyani! can u believe that? haha. basically we had good food and good people. so everything just turned out great. i hope errik enjoyed his bday. he's only 18 and all the while i thought he was 20++.
"...he cant be younger than 19.". haha. woops
so anyway, is he ever reads this,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ERRIK! love you loads! :D
syaf_10:59 PM
[0] comments
O@G
20051112
have you ever taken a good listen to their songs? radhi has such a cute voice. when he sings, it sounds half english, half malay. some of their songs are in english anyway. so i was checking them out and i have never known a band which has gone through so many line-up changes within 12 years. ok. 12 years is a long time, but in '92 alone, they changed line-up 4 times if i remember correctly. and the only one who remained constant throughout the years was radhi. and they went through quite a number of name changes as well. they were once known as Flop Poppy but the thing is, i thought fp was another band that came out in '02. i remember crushing on fp's drummer. he was hot. mmmm. i dont know. i just think their music's cute. might sound like JUST another band but i dont think so. they're too good to pass. OAG used to stand for Old Automatic Garbage but now i think it stands for
OrAnG. (Y)
radhi on the mic and sizul on the guit. whuargh. the guitarist looks cute. :B
woo~ new boxshorts! i like!
haha there's dracula, the wolfman, creature from the black lagoon and frankenstein! haha how cute. i wish i have these.
syaf_8:59 PM
[0] comments
i think there are spoilers in here.
20051111
shit.
if i had my way, i'll block him forever. but since im kind, HAHA, i wont do that even though i've done so before. hoho. and what is up with you? do you like me or not? tsk. sorry for leading you on. i wont anymore ok.
meeting with nadia was fine. i wished my cam isnt spoiled though. hmm. we watched
Exorcism of Emily Rose. haha watching horror movies with nad always mean hiding our heads somewhere. but i wont disregard this movie as JUST another movie since it's based on a true story. i bet the real thing is a whole deal freakier. just typing that out gives me the chills. i had mixed feelings bout it actually. it's really not your typical horror show. i dont know, im not good at giving reviews. i guess it is sad that emily had to die a painful death and i didnt like how the priest was found guilty at the end. that's just wrong. well, the show will definitely be worth your $7/8/9/10. so go watch it, go!
so the marshmellows at McCafe is free. what do you know. haha. oh i asked for a job at Art Friend! i really hope i get it. i think it'll be quite an experience. :)
Billy Talent is crazy!! i dont like how microphones distort my voice. and how they carry my voice elsewhere. like how i'm here but i seem to be talking from there. it's just funny. so if i have to do singing, i'll do it without the mic. thanks. then i can scream as loud as i can without freaking myself out with my voice being
over there. so what if i hafta fight with the amps. i say, bring it. haha. so yea. jamming next wed ok? let's have fun~ :D i'll try to book a room thats not so ex. :x
ergh. why is he just so effing cute? shit. if he lives in sg, i wud have tounged him a long time ago. hoho. sorry. i know thats just absolutely repulsive coming from me.
syaf_8:45 PM
[3] comments
LET'S BE FRIENDS
i dont want a boyfriend. i dont care what he says. i'll hurt him & i dont want that. no. then we wont be friends anymore. blah. all i care about right now is fixing my cam and finding out what the hell's an art card that's matt and white in color. i need to talk to someone. wheee~ meeting nad soon and guess what? I HAVENT SHOWERED. HA HA HA. *skips away*
shit shit shit. i'll get the best speakers in town and blast this damn song. it is so...
whatSO LET ME GO/ AND FALL ASLEEP/ WHEN I WAKE UP IT WONT BE
you mexican boys are damn hott.
syaf_12:16 PM
[0] comments
template baruuu
20051110
this is done by
DEE. nice right? of course la. future designer what. haha. i look siao i know. siao and fat. hahahhha my cheeeeeks i put on weight. AH WELL.
an open relationship sounds good. but with a guy halfway around the world? hoho.
syaf_10:52 PM
[1] comments
hoho
WE'RE THE CHAMPION! YESSAR! looking at the amount of work we did, with the fucking collage and whatnot, i think we deserve it. we put in our heart and soul, blood and sweat and more sweat AND our own money which we wont get back so we bloody deserve it ok. haha so cocky..
the preparation was crazy! we didnt wanna lose so we tried everything to make sure we didnt. everybody just got so kiasu. last minute work is soooo thrilling. haha i got pissed at jon at one moment and i gave him my shitface. poor boy. i felt bad afterwards. but i apologized and said countless of "we sayang you ok". haha. i still feel bad. i really dont like to make anyone feel bad.
I LOVE SDN YAY! i can imagine myself working with them for the next 2 years+ cos they are all really a great bunch of people. i'll never get tired of saying it. :):):)
after that we went for the la meeting. omg. i cant help but feel a bit stressed. there were so many malays. it's too extreme. from hanging out with so many chinese, suddenly got so many malays. and the sad thing is, i prefer hanging out with the chinese. they're so much more fun and more open. the guys in la are so disappointing. dee and i can be more kecoh than them. thats not right. it's unbecoming. ok, maybe this is our first meeting in a while and it takes everyone to warm up. but i have doubts bout that. im thankful the girls click. there's only 4 of us so whatever. and im thankful for zul who's celupah but nice and he noticed the guys' kayu-ness. so thats good. im not the only one with a problem with that. and wha the hell is up with that ___. frick. IS IT SO WRONG TO SMILE BACK? ok fine. it's ok if you dont wanna smile. some people are like that i can accept it. BUT how can you
eheheh*sweetstupidsmile* at the guys and not to us girls? MIANG KEPE. i know some girls just prefer guys but thats just downright RUDE. you dont like us, fine. but SMILE BACK BITCH. just once. I DONT EVEN WANNA TALK TO YOU. I JUST WANT YOU TO BLOODY RETURN MY SMILE. NOT ACKNOWLEDGE US WITH THAT NENEHH FACE OF YOURS.
oh ya. we're in yet another event. FREAK OK. I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS OK. I ONLY VOLUNTEERED FOR CHINGAY. ok fine whatever. im tired really. but its ok. i'll do my best in whatever. and besides, i've got dee with me. we can brighten each other's day. and now we know more people. too many people actually. haha. ok whatever whatever. i dont wanna complain.
o winston menthol is vile.
"she'll get jealous. i dont care.. let's meet anyway." haha im so looking foward to that. :d
syaf_6:51 AM
[0] comments
green campus tomorrow
20051108
i'm so glad the actual thing is tomorrow.
FINALLY. finally dee and i can take a break from all these projects. woo! i can be awfully nice to people i dont like. even though their faces scream "BEAT ME". i love every single one of them except that one. but i dont know if i can say for sure that every single one of them likes me. i can be so
what at times.
JOLE! hahahaha frick! kalau sesetengah lelaki dalam dmd melayu, alangkah bahagianya hidupku. i will not ask for more. cos most of the guys in my course
that i know have great personalities, and some with great faces as well. except, diorang cine. oh sedih. but its ok lah. their antics keep me entertained.
im so sorry if i am such a siak. i honestly dont mean to be so annoying. if it helps, i'll tone down k.
and LET'S GO SDN. LET'S ROCK ALL THEIR BOATS TOMORROW COS OURS WILL BE AN OCEANLINER.
syaf_11:32 PM
[1] comments
floating buddha and jk fish
FLOATING BUDDHA
this is what i did during Digital Imaging. This class isnt so bad and i'm still alive even though jimmy's in charge. brrrgh.
and jk drew this...
hoho. ngantok sial.
HAHAHAHAHAHAH. sorry. i am still in jk's class. bored sia. he tok tok tok tok tok dono tok what
syaf_12:31 PM
[1] comments
yo~
im in... eyy. the room mext to the mac lab. having Intro to 3D. mr eugene wong is quite cute. but cannot beat mr calvin. haha! my box quite cute eh. hehe. i just waved at gladys.
yesterday was the first day of Sem 2. i reached home ard 10++++ cos had to do the pyramid thing. i love my club! woo! HAHHAHA choon kiat kekek ah. he's in front of me. im sitting in between edmund (yay!) and rickson (yay!). oh class starting. i dont have much to say. cant wait for the actual thing tomorrow. ok bye.
-------
http://awn.com/
http://learningmaya.com/
http://cgtalk.com/
http://cgchannel.com/
syaf_8:50 AM
[0] comments
shah swiss
20051106
cute eyy. my friend, shah, from swiss. we only started chatting again. it'd be nice if he comes to singapore. sent him a fire extinguisher sticker once. hahahha i was as surprised as he was that the sticker made it there.
syaf_11:44 PM
[4] comments
politik
zul is quitting L.A. apparently my asking him about the 30th dec gig was the last straw. he thinks they're been planning a gig behind his back and from the looks of it, it seems that way. BUT the gig isnt confirmed. *shrugs* he's just against the idea of another rock gig and i think he wanted Hiphop la Rasta 2 to happen. was quite excited about it too. but hey. it's either this or that. personally, i'd very much prefer the rock gig. as would most of L.A. nothing against hiphop. thing is, anyone can mosh and headbang but not everyone can
drop it like its hot. i wonder what it would be like when it's OUR turn to take over L.A. or PC or SDN. O__o huge responsibilities, no? so school starts tomorrow. and i have no newsprint. ergh. and i havent bought the sketchbook and whatnot! oh no! and class starts at 8! 3 out of 5 days start at 8. sniff. my latest day starts at 11.10. not like the 10 minutes count. alaaa. aku sedey, yo. EH HOW WOULD IT BE LIKE TO TAKE OVER Live Audio? i cant help but wonder. :x ok im just anxious bout tomorrow. i'll finally be taken out of this limbo. time to get my act together. cos all this while, i feel like im neither here nor there even though 6 months have passed. and whee when this sem ends on
April the 17th, i'll be a senior! yay! and an OGL! woohoo! eyyy.. i have nop, jimmy and hoepengpeng to look forward to this sem. i think im talking in circles right? you know what i did most of today? i spent my time cleaning up my ljs. now they're void of senseless entries. i'll delete findmeat soon. once im done with june's entries. i sound accomplished dont i? oh ok. what to wear tomorrow... what a pampered life i lead. i shouldnt complain.
syaf_8:21 PM
[3] comments
bah
i shouldnt have said those things. i should have more control over the things i spew. *shakes head* my mom is unreasonable, i know. she really knows how to
piss me off. *sigh* i really cant be bothered. whatever makes her happy. if she refuses to see reason and remain stubborn, what am i to do. i
hate quarelling with my parents.
p/s: i'd appreciate it if what i said to you guys remain between us. i feel bad bout saying those things bout my mom even though im damn pissed. let people ask me what they wanna know. ok thanks.
syaf_11:23 AM
[0] comments
20051105
entertain the hope that somehow you'll escape me
weld the bolts and close the iron gate
drink deeply THE ILLUSION OF YOUR SAFETY,
my how wishful thoughts inebriate,
masquerade and revel in your opulence.
writhe unfettered by your stabs at ignorance.
swim through hues and whispered tones of heresy,
a dozen strokes to run your blood cold enough to believe
remember me?
you look so surprised to see me here,
with hells black wings did i overperch these walls,
for stony limits cannot hold me out,
and now you all DIE
-
thrice, the red deathi just watched Barbie's Princess and the Pauper! haha man, i'll never get tired of her. i wanna post new things at DA but camera's not working. mood's gone. hmm maybe i'll drop by sim lim later to get the cam fixed. ptooooz. i wonder if i'll still type like this when im 21. thats if i decide to continue typing. hur. strange eyy. i HATE how i typed just a year back. not worth a second read. no, not even WORTH READING AT ALL. comments thing will be enabled. i have many moles on my face i realized. thats ok. i wish they're freckles instead. why do moles appear?
hmmmmm...
---
Moles are a collection of tiny, pigmented cells called melanocytes. You may have a single mole or a collection of tiny moles all in the same area on your skin.
If it’s determined that your mole is cancerous, don’t panic. There are a number of ways it can be safely removed. One method, called excisional surgery, involves numbing the skin with a local anesthesia and removing your mole along with a small amount of surrounding normal tissue just to be safe. There are two different ways of doing this, either takes only a few minutes in the doctor’s office:
Shave excision. After your skin is anesthetized your doctor or a dermatologist will use a sharp blade and shave off the mole very close to your skin.
Punch biopsy. Your doctor will make a small cut in your skin (the area will be numb) and using an instrument that operates much like a cookie cutter; he or she will simply punch your mole out.
simply punch it out, aye.. HAHAHAHAHAHA. WHAT ARE MOLES? They are non-cancerous clusters of the cells which are responsible for normal skin colour and for producing a suntan.
WHEN AND WHY DO THEY APPEAR? Young children usually have very few moles and most moles first appear between the ages of 8 and 20. We have most moles as young adults and with time many disappear without treatment. Old people often have a number of brown marks on their skin, but very few of these are moles.
We do not know why moles appear, but children who have spent a lot of time in the sun often have a larger than average number.
---
ouuu. so i play in the sun alot? whoahkay now i know and you know too. hoho.
syaf_12:09 PM
[0] comments
Hari Raya Kedua
20051104
Came back from visiting relatives at jb an hour ago. not much to say. i wanna post pictures, but no pictures. how?
bila nak jalan raya ah korang?
Liberation and personal revelation have always kept Thrice thriving. When they formed in 1998, Teranishi and Kensrue were high school friends looking for a creative outlet, so Teranishi called his skateboard pal Eddie Breckenridge and encouraged him to learn how to play bass so he could be in the group. Since Riley Breckenridge wasn't playing with anyone else at the time, he agreed to play in his brother's group until they found a replacement, but he had so much fun jamming with them that he decided to stay. By late 1999, they recorded their first album Identity Crisis, which they released themselves. This foreshadowed the oncoming metalcore movement.
Identity Crisis earned them a deal with Hopeless/Sub City, which reissued the album and released its follow-up: 2002's stronger and more cohesive Illusion of Safety. Sub City, which gives a percentage of album sales to charity, also woke up Thrice to the importance of giving back, and kick-started their long history with charitable causes. Thrice then signed to Island Records and re-entered the studio to create the more melodic and mature The Artist In the Ambulance, which doubled the sales of Illusion, and increased the band’s fiercely devoted fanbase. As part of its contract, the band insisted that a percentage of album sales be donated to the SSE Foundation. Thrice has taken a similar path for Vheissu, dedicating a percentage of sales to 826 Valencia, a tutorial program designed to help underprivileged children improve their communications skills. "We feel so blessed and so lucky, we want to share some of our good fortune with people that are less fortunate," Riley says.-
why thrice holds a special place in my heart <3and omg. teranishi skates!!
syaf_10:48 PM
[0] comments
Hari Raya Pertama
the atmosphere this year is so dead. but then again, i wasnt looking forward to raya either. my dad only got back from work at 12.30 which means he's been at work for more than 12 hours. he was dead tired, the poor man. he rested for only an hour before he insisted to drive us to my grans place. im just thankful my dad is quite the patient one and hardly ever grouchy. a kiss and a hug always helps. haha.
when we reached my grans place, i was slightly taken aback when i saw my youngest aunt in the house. truthfully, i like her. she has always been my favourite aunt. i was happy to see her there. but that didnt change my stand against her actions. it is still hard for me to swallow the things she said bout her own son. her bf was there. he looks ok. but i doubt my family likes him. so anyway. it was pretty ankward in the house cos no one expected her to come. only after she left, could we all breathe a little easier. but before she did, i listened in to the convo she had with my mom and other aunt. she wants to take luqman back and make him live with her.
i dread the day he'll be taken away from my granparents who've been his parents for 5 years. i honestly dont know how luqman will take it. he'll be heartbroken i bet. :'(
i shall not discuss that any further. that proves it. my aunt is still the little bitch. ergh.
we went to jb after that. visited some relatives there and went home. that was my day basically. will be going to jb again later.
wheee~oh my camera freaked out. of all days. gotta get it fixed soon SOON! im still lola. awh.
my promise is not of love not of hate.
my promise wont last and one day it'll break.
wouldnt it be cool if you can go out with someone but with no strings attached? there will be no break-ups and the friendship remains. no commitments or whatever to hold you down. then can share all the hugs and kisses in the world whereby each and every one will send shockwaves crashing through your body cos it's so wrong! i like chatting with new people everyday. find out what kinda lives they lead. ...only until the novelty wears off. haha!
syaf_1:01 AM
[0] comments
minesweeping raya
20051103
Raya is here again!
but first, i have to talk about my current addiction: minesweeper. IT IS THE SINGLE MOST STUPID THING TO BE ADDICTED TO. i play it like it's a disease.when i wait for something to load, i open minesweeper and play it. then i forget bout the page that's loading and continue playing minesweeper till my right hand goes numb. im gonna keep at it till i beat my best time. tsk.
Kepada sesiapa yang mengenali diriku ini, inginku mengambil kesempatan ini untuk memohon ampun, supaya segala kesilapanku dapat di maafkan ya. bukannya niatku untuk melukai hati sesiapa. :)
dengan itu, selamat menyambut Hari Raya Aidilfitri you all. haha!
syaf_12:41 AM
[0] comments
check this..
20051101
ader hantu tetek, yo! (click to enlarge)
[edit]
THE PICTURE HOR! NOT THE TETEK! that one, go to the play itself then maybe go on stage press press can enlarge. tapi jgn bagi dier suffocate kau bawah tetek dier! BAH A HA HA HAH. (syaf eksyen. mentang-mentang bulan mulia, setan takder)
syaf_1:16 PM
[0] comments
a thousand sorry-s
20051031
i miss diq. i miss chot. im a jerk. thats all. isk wants us to be more than friends and i keep telling him no. i KEPT telling him no. now im not so sure what to say to him. all for the experience. haha. if anything good comes out of it, i'll share it, yo. then there's zaidi. i've known him for 3 years, almost. we've never met. and i blocked him on MSN. i dont know why. i block people whenever i feel like it. i avoid people for no reason. then when i feel like it, i unblock/unavoid them. totally assholic right? well, i was supposed to meet him sometime during puasa, but i never did. why? cos im avoiding him. he didnt do anything wrong, thats the thing and there's nothing wrong with him. i owe people testimonials and im not about to write them any. hoho. am i one of those people who like to "menghilangkan" diri? those people who can be assholes without even trying? i don't know what the extent of my assholic behaviour is. it doesnt worry me but karma does. i said i'll make a skin for zu but have i done it? no. when will i get around to doing it? a bonus question with no answer, no points and more importantly, no prizes. haha! ah shit. im such an ass. this entry hasnt helped me at all! i was hoping it would, but i feel indifferent. ok, all i know is, i have new bedsheets and i like the royal-ish colors. also, i watched the great raid with dee today and it was a total riot! I AM NOT GIVING UP ON OLD FRIENDS & hopefully, they wont give up on me either.
...
syaf_10:30 PM
[0] comments
looftop
20051030
went to art friend to
see bakhtiyar get stuff fer school. how money flies. then got myself
Vheissu. it's
emotionally-driven as dee puts it. dustin's a master with lyrics. and teppei. my gawd teppei. we found out he's the one who has been playing the piano.. amongst many other instruments. dammit. the guy's talented. i'll reserve a special place in my heart for them. <3
maybe i'll get tired of taking pictures one day.
found out whats a fixative today and i dont like it.
syaf_8:02 PM
[0] comments
onoonono
20051029
hur. check out the new layout! haha. it's so..... i dont know. maybe you have an adjective for it.
i wanna move to Hawaii. i've said this so many times before. then can feed fish all day long. i wanna go to the carribean too. then can feed fish all day long. like really go into the water to feed fish. not just throw bread crumbs into the water. it's exciting~!
...
oh the full circle episode just now was so sad. :( how can a parent just abandon his child JUST like that? tsk.
oh my sister and i almost had a fist-fight at our grans place. not almost, we did have one! she hit me first, then i hit her, then she hit me.. then got lotsa hitting. not slap-slap-slap, mind you. we really did hit each other. when we realised we couldnt go any further [oh we could have had it not been our grans place], she sat next to my mom and cried. while i hurled verbal abuse at her. i said some mean things which i honestly didnt mean. i understand fully the effects of saying "stupid" to someone. its a simple word but trust me, the impact is great. i felt pretty bad when she started crying harder. my grans and mom saw all this. but they thought it was just a sisterly thing. wt.. HELLO. IF WE HADNT STOPPED OURSELVES, ONE OF US COULD HAVE BEEN INJURED. I AM NOT KIDDING. ONE HIT TO THE NOSE, AND THATS IT MAN. even though i felt rotten, i was more pissed. she was so rude! the little bitch. she ALWAYS gets away cos my mom favours her. dammit. if i hadnt hit her back, kepale kite semue nanti dier pijak. she can be such an ASS. but still, those words i said to her
were mean. so i apologized and now we're fine.
strange eh.
syaf_11:21 PM
[0] comments
i still want an agogo boy
i hear you
you feel me
a force that's so strong we will always see
i need you
i bleed you
to a world that's far from free
in the hidden shadows of everyday battles stands a man
-the joust, mad caddies
syaf_8:34 AM
[0] comments
gay people
20051028
i was really vandalising my hand. i have no idea what shit design i drew. it just looks complicated. haha.
*stares
hmm. anyway here are pics from yesterday. i had fun with nani and zu. miss them both very much.
YATI, NADIA! u nenehhs! :'( sedey tau korang takde. nehmind, will see you for jalan raya soon by God's grace. i wonder if it will be as riuh as previous years.
haha. at dee's place. thats our model pyramid and it doubles as a party hat.
gayland~ gayland~
i helped my mom bake kueh konplek. so sedap. im just afraid it wont make it to raye.
syaf_8:25 PM
[0] comments
-
20051027
seriously, what do my parents take me for?
the worst thing bout the whole thing is i have no one to blame save myself. ya, i've breeched their trust so many times before so all i can do is take whatever shit they throw at me.
what do they want me to do? be a brady kid? fine whatever. BULLSHIT. dont be shocked to find me gone just like that one day. then i dont have to lie to them anymore and i can live by my own rules. and it wont be a repeat of 2003 either. that was 2 years ago and i know so much more now.
bullshit. all this.
syaf_10:58 PM
[0] comments
my man and me
bloody hell. he likes the cam. haha. no. thats not good. so tiddakkan ku jadikan itu satu amalan. oh melayu aku hancur.. ooh. im loving this blogger function. i'm not ready for a relationship.
hoho. you're saying that only now? better now before it's too late. i'm not gonna go into all that shit bout love. hey man 17's still young. i dont wanna be tied down to commitments i
know i cannot commit to.
I gave it a lot of thought. a lot more than i usually would have. i want it as much as i dont. i might have someone who'll
care and protect me but i just dont think it's worth my time and energy. i'd rather run around with friends i love. speaking of running around.......
hmm. ok im gonna shower now and start sms-ing. bye!
syaf_12:00 PM
[0] comments
Chingay Rock
20051026
i loved today! would have been better had it taken place after Ramadhan but i love it nontheless. it was the first time i stepped foot into Hard Rock Cafe. haha, tu pon excited. i wore my nice orange kebaya nyonya top and jeans. whee~ i enjoyed myself very much despite not being able to eat the food there which was okay since i wasnt hungry anyway. i think everybody enjoyed themselves. oooh! 3-1 played for us a song. too bad the bass was louder than the guitar. wth. too bad ok too bad lor. we wanted to take pics with them butttt i guess fate wasnt on our side. haha.
left ard 11+ for the sdn meeting at school. WHAT A HUGE FUCKING DISAPPOINTMENT. the turnout, in one word, SUCKED. i seriously expected at least 150% more year 1s to be there but nooooo. there appeared to be less than 30! dammit! what happened to the 90+ that signed up?! freaks of nature. then to our
pleasant surprise, we had to build something for some competition held the following week. GREAT. all i wanted was to go there, make friends and leave. but no.
ok fine. we all know im bloody enthu when it comes to teamwork (especially if there's gonna be a competition). haha. i am DAMN GUNG-HO i tell you. so gung-ho that i was amongst the last to leave the room along with dee, jonathan (he's really cute HURR) and wang shen. i din even realise the rest of the group had already left. this time, we have to build a pyramid, or PERMID rather, according to CHAIR-RIL (i really wanna punch her face). woo~
so fun. i dont care, im gonna try drag the rest of my classmates who are supposed to be with me into this.
i just hope we manage to build the pyramid according to plan and that it turns out as nice as we expect it to be. (Y) and of course i hope to win but if we dont, i'd still be proud. so all is good and right with the world which is coming to an end by the way. we're building a recycle bin pyramid! lol. i hope yang tien is one of the judges. extra points for SDN and the crap idea we came out with.
wow. this is a long entry. *shrugs* ON TO PICTURES!
i can tell this is gonna rock. i think i'll go for chingay next year. haha. i'll ask lotsa people to come too then it'll be like baybeats or seomthing. hurr.
oh sadness. my puasa ends early this year. i got my period this morning. damnation.
syaf_7:16 PM
[0] comments
self-absorbed i am hoho
20051025
if i go out with you, will you be happier?
syaf_10:17 PM
[0] comments
abah's birthday is today!
i completely forgot. :( so i didnt wish him when he left for work in the morning. im so sad. im waiting for him to come home.
i was itching to go out so i did. met up with dee at cwp and we watched
The Skeleton Key. i thought it was gonna be damn frightening. but it turned out more shocking really and it had a nice twist at the end. 3.5 stars. very good. hmm. Emily Rose comes out on the 10th of Nov. im not too sure i'll be up for that one. the skeleton key was interesting. it featured Hoodoo- some form of african-american magic. bomoh pon kalah ok. haha. no, seriously it was intriguing.
the clouds today were.. magnificent, to say the least.
im so excited! the sdn club members are gonna have a meeting tomorrow. yay! ok. the only reason im excited is cos im hoping to widen my circle of malay friends in school. its pathetic that dee and i are the only malays who talk to each other. then im not too sure about the hard rock cafe thing. oooh. this saturday, im meeting yazid again! haha. i cant help it, i really miss him. i bet Magus Luna will be a treat.
oh no. puasa ends in less than 10 days.. 8 days. oh no. i dont want it to end. :(
syaf_8:43 PM
[0] comments
pictures~
I am back here again
i did say 6 months din i. haha. i realise i need to do this for myself and no one else.
might as well get a proper diary right? yea i've been toying with that idea for quite some time now. till i actually get myself a real diary to pen down my thoughts, i'll continue amusing myself here and there and everywhere.
i have entries everywhere. it's horrible.
lj is getting a tad too crowded. THAT's ok. but it irks once you start to know the crowd by name. everyone knows everyone there. rimas ah. i could have always made it a friends-only thing but i really dont see the point cos i'll still have 20+ friends and thats like. a lot. im at a point where i
dont want to know who reads what i write. not that im saying i have loyal readers but its nice to NOT to be paranoid for once cos blogger isnt as accessible as lj. its tiring and blogging loses its meaning.
here, i dont have to worry bout lj-cuts and whatnot. i can post as many pictures as i like and i can write entries thousands of words-long and not hafta worry bout people getting pissed cos they had to scroll too much to get to another person's entry. eljayers would know what im talking about.
this actually feels nice. my entries are seldom this long. seldom? ok im not too sure bout that. moving on.
i had soooo much fun with yazid and annas earlier. went to geylang with annas first to get his kain samping. then headed for beach road. at lavendar, yaz called and i was thrilled to bits cos he 'd told us he couldnt make it. told him to call me once he reached lavendar and i'd give him directions to beach road. but to our huge disappointment (more mine actually), the food ctr was closed for cleaning! of all days! so we hurried to toa payoh to break fast at ljs. haha i cant believe it. i always, always eat at ljs whenever im with yaz and annas. the 2 guys had no qualms about it considering the LOVE ljs.
yaz only arrived at 8. i was so happy to see him cos it's been a while. hee~! so i waved like mad when i saw him come in. life is never dull when annas and yazid get together. how i miss the time when we were all still in MI. we hung out at ljs a lot. lol
i want to be your friend and nothing more. i dont trust myself and im afraid of what i'd do when we meet. it has never been my intention to lead you on. :(
syaf_1:02 AM
<3
20050611
nyehh. im blogging here cos i hate the layout at my lj. yesh. and im too lazy to change it. im weird like that.
hmmm. i miss shoutouts. haish. and i have ass.s to do. like. bleargh. k. lib later then borders. but i dont like going town alone. it makes me feel....depressed.
syaf_10:36 AM
[0] comments
mmm.
20050605
and so i miss blogging here. super weird me.
syaf_10:25 PM
[0] comments
elo once again
20050425
ive decided to use this blog for my links. since lj doesnt allow me to link up non-ljers. actually i can. but im far too lazy to figure out how.
and since i like changing skins so much, i can use this site to do so. hahah.
syaf_9:56 AM
[0] comments
say hie
20050401
i just felt like typing an entry here.
i miss html-ing. the one thing i constantly did with blogger. even tho lj is great, blogger is better in the sense it's more flexible.
i really miss hardcore html-ing. searching for codes, sitting in front of the comp for 8 hours straight, hoping and praying that blogger isnt a bitch that day so it'll leave ur codes alone, cursing the comp for jamming up at all the wrong times. yeh. \m/ hardcore beb.
haha.
yeh anyways, simple skin here. nyahh.
i wish skul has started for me. 2 more months to go. its getting depressing here.
syaf_12:23 PM
[0] comments
i am in <3
20050330
What I like about you
You hold me tight
Tell me
I'm the only one
Wanna come over tonight?
Warm whispering in my ear
Tell me all the things that I want to hear'
Cause it's true
That's what I like about you
What I like about you
You really know how to dance
When you go up down, jump around
Talk about about true romance
Warm whispering in my ear
Tell me all the things that I want to hear
'Cause it's true
That's what I like about you
That's what I like about you
That's what I like about you
What I like about you
You keep me warm at night
Never wanna let you go
You know you make me feel alright
Warm whispering in my ear
Tell me all the things that I want to hear
'Cause it's true
That's what I like about you
That's what I like about you
That's what I like about you
That's what I like about you
That's what I like about you
That's what I like about you
That's what I like about you
syaf_7:51 PM
[0] comments
ah finally
20050322
this thing takes forever to load.
anyways. doing a short update.
u guys DO know im not blogging here nimore right? haha. this will be kacangros official site yea. but for now me doing short update.
IM AN NYP STUDENT. WOOO~ SYUUUUUU!!!! I'LL SEE YOU IN SKUUUUUUUL!!!!!
SYUKUR.
after everything that went wrong, this is the best thing to have ever happened to me. i will not waste this chance and i'll do my best. HEE~!
ok
God Bless to everyone from my batch. hope u guys are as happy as me. u guys deserve to be. :)
more kacangros drawings will be put up once i revamp this site.
syaf_11:33 AM
[0] comments
drawings
20050315
well. photobucket is a bitch as i have said so may times before. so. i'll just publish the drawings here.
each drawing is copyright ©2005 Kacangros. You may not attain any of the following art pieces without seeking permission from either one of the owners beforehand. Syaf and Nadia reserves the right to hunt you down if you are caught doing so. Syaf and Nadia will NOT hesitate stuffing a molotov cocktail up your ass if you do not obey the copyright law which syaf has smart-aleck-edly implemented on the following artworks.
mr happy killed the tree.
we're on a chicken rampage.
believe in retribution. some day we'll pay for being the bitches we are.
till then, we'll keep drawing. jangan ambil hati eh.
syaf_11:18 PM
[0] comments
new skin new skin~!
20050311
i finally got my lazy ass around to do this. hahaa. makes me wanna blog here again. no ah bedek.
i love the skin at my other blog just as much.
well. anyways. this skin can be dl-ed at blogskins. my username is syafie.
oteyh doteyh.
go back to where all the action is.
syaf_8:57 AM
[0] comments
heh
20050309
cudnt leave without getting this blog right first.
hahahks.
stupid.
k.
bye.
syaf_7:32 AM
[0] comments
people gots moods
20050308
im too lazy to update 2 accounts. so yah. bye bye to this acc. who knows i might come back here if i ever get tired of eljay. that might take another 6 mths.
i love changes.
haha. so yah. i'll be back here soon enuff.
and miss tag-board there is being a total bitch. -->
mebbe u guys can c it, but i cant. buang karren jer.
oteyh..
gudbye gudbye gud frens gudbye
cos now its time to go
but hey, i say
well thats okay
cos i'll see u very soon i know
very soon i know-oowoh-oowoh.
till thennnn...
http://www.livejournal.com/~findmeat
syaf_5:07 PM
[0] comments
kacangros
20050307
wahah.. me having a lot of fun over at me eljay. and a lot of fun at yahoo! msg-er.
since photobucket is being a total bitch, i shall transfer the pics to some other less bitchy servers. webshots mebbe. then u can see what goes thru our heads most of the time.
our drawings have no cencorship whatsoever. so if we offend u in any way, be it sexually, mentally, physically, racial-ly, please forgive us. its all in the name of boredom and luffing our asses off.
"we" refers to nad and syaf. just in case u're wondering. the pics refer to our drawings. each drawing is the result of a collaboration between 2 whacked girls and their ideas of what's pretty and what's not.
kacangros shall reign supreme. kacang is nuts in mly. nad = nuts = kacang. ros = ros = syaf's first name.
ok. enuff talk.
i have a digicam. and i played with it. pics are over at my eljay. i cannot emphasize enuff how much fun im having over there.
http://www.livejournal.com/~findmeathttp://www.livejournal.com/~findmeathttp://www.livejournal.com/~findmeathttp://www.livejournal.com/~findmeathttp://www.livejournal.com/~findmeathttp://www.livejournal.com/~findmeat
syaf_9:24 PM
[0] comments
hello and bye
20050305
dear all [this is stupid. who reads this anyway?],
i have moved to
http://www.livejournal.com/~findmeatwhy have i moved?
i dont know. mebbe im tired of blogspot.
is it temp or permanent?
i dont know that either. most likely temp.
im just having too much fun there.
syaf_7:56 PM
[0] comments
bye bye for now
20050303
i wont be blogging here anytime soon.
cos me found a new love.
wanna know? ask ME.
mebbe i'll link the other site up once it gets more interesting.
till den...
me bid ye readers a safe jourrneeyyy
syaf_9:48 PM
[0] comments
results
20050301
when reality hit me that JC was out of the option, i broke down. partly becos i thot my mother was gonna hate me and partly cos i thot i had to spend the next 3 yrs of my life in MI. i cried relli hard. if not for my friends who were there to comfort me, i wud have not went home last night. then it wud have been the whole 2003 episode all over again.
i love you guys. :) :) :) :) and congrats to those who made it into the jc of their choice. i am REALLY REALLY sorry i didnt congratulate anyone ytd. too caught up in snot.
i had a long talk with my mother when i got home and basically she's happy i graduated, to put it simply. of cos she was disappointed. but i guess she's happy that i am happy. so i felt considerably much better cos i really thot she wud hate me.
im not happy. thats a lie. the truth is, im euphoric. i finally get to do something i want. the lowdown: fees. close to $2000. so a job is in order. i cant depend on my parents. they're already struggling to make ends meet. so imma try and get a job so they wont feel the pinch.
i had some qns that needed answers so i asked yazid to accompany me to nyp and tp. i didnt know the polys were having like a 2nd open hse. k. not relli. the teachers were there to answer qns the future students had. haha. and i had a blast asking them stuff. espech when i asked the visual comm lect at tp. he was uber kul. can tell he's whacked.
and now i haf hardly any worries and a new sense of purpose in my life. hee.
syaf_4:17 PM
[0] comments
empty
20050227
i want to see, u use ur capabilities... build me an ocean and destroy it with ur eyes.
syaf_11:10 PM
[0] comments
[listening to: the used- the taste of ink]
blaaa.
k. ytd's session was gud. yana is so cute. haha. he's big so he looks cuddly all the time. imagine this. he's also in a metal band so his guitar is damn fierce. black ESP. body like an axe and at the end hangs a cute teddy bear key chain. hahah.
totally adorable.
we met fir for the first time. he talks a lot. i mean in a gud way. he told me interesting stuff. and gave me weird looks when shah and yana kept sidetracking and playing their own thing during session. hahaks. that was funny.
i feel comfortable wit these people.
im not thinking bout tmr.
im not thinking bout tmr.
im not thinking bout tmr.
im not thinking bout tmr.
im not thinking bout tmr.
im not thinking bout tmr.
im not thinking bout tmr.
im not thinking bout tmr.
oh no i am.
im not thinking bout tmr.
im not thinking bout tmr.
im not thinking bout tmr.
im not thinking bout tmr.
syaf_4:08 PM
[0] comments
about:blank
20050226
i wanna wish the GPA performers all the best.
ANDERSONIANS! BRING TK DOWN- AGAIN! *eeveeiil grin*
and also to NYJC yr one dk performers. namely those i know. XD
argh feeling restless.
kinshi: haha. why no poly? i dont know. parents and their narrow minds.sara: ooolala. thankies. all the best to u too beb...nadia: like skipping skul on mon? orite ah. hahaks. i dont know who's brad. i just know he talks funny and one of those anti-jx pple.hazri: haha. i wud love to see us jam too having not done it before.chino: trying not to worry. kinda hard. im more depressed that poly is not an option.
syaf_11:46 AM
[0] comments
bored+++
20050225
k. i skipped skul again. i din want to but no one woke *excuse* me up. so i happily woke up at 9.
im not going out today.
im so depressed.
no poly for me.
why? i donno. ask mother.
so dont ask me why my eyes are red for the next 2 or 3 yrs of my life. i'll be crying everyday.
:(
suck fest.
thank god im going out tmr. sorry i cant attend GPA and see u guys perform. i really have to attend session cos everyone's gonna be there. and there's the qn of my timing. i cant sing on time for fuck's sake.
syaf_2:52 PM
[0] comments
BITCH I AM
20050224
OH NO. I AM SO SORRY. ITS SUPPOSED TO HARMLESS FUN. HARMLESS. AND NOW SHE'S CRUSHED. SHE'S NOT HAPPY. OH NO. I DIDNT MEAN ANY HARM.
GOSH. WHAT SHUD I DO.
IM SUCH A COWARD. OH NO.
OH NONONONONONO.
haiz. i think i'll own up and face the consequences. how can a good day just turn so bad?
"pls dont be mad at her what ive done. its my fault relli. not hers.""shithead.""i know.""u lowlife.""lower than you apparently.""WHY ARE YOU ALL OUT TO GET ME? WHAT HAVE I EVER DONE TO YOU?""...i dont know. im just a mean bitch i guess"
syaf_9:34 PM
[0] comments
Happi 200th Post for nyunyum.blogspot Day
haha. wth.
i blog in the morning, afternoon and night. i also blog whenever i bored, and that will be all the time. haha. i skipped skul today. i wudnt have if my mother hadnt asked,"wanna go skul?" i just HAD to say... no and go back to sleep.
i hafta apply for singpass later. oh pain in the ass.
syaf_7:23 AM
[0] comments
ok. dah.
20050223
i know i changed skin again. now you all know how i fill my time. the idea for the design isnt original. i ripped it off some dress at 2%. haha.
happy day. went to bugis with nad. got ourselves black bands. more racist jokes over lunch at the halal cheena bugis stall. hcbs. haha. crap. why is it that everywhere we go we see replicas of heeren/far east? even the tilings are the same. as if the prices arent bad enough, the cin feel is sellowly creeping into these places as well.
cin CIN cin cin CIN cin cin cin CIN cin cin CIN cin cin cin... *star wars theme song*
haha. k. happy day over. unhappy night begins.
im supposed to come up with a list of goods and bads bout both jc and poly to help me decide on my future. i havent come up with that list yet.
syaf_9:56 PM
[0] comments
mourning
i dont wanna go to skul. ergh. why din i hand in that dumb donaion card earlier. freak.
what's so gud bout xiaxue? even her name sucks. its hard to pronounce. so i call her saa-shuehh.
seriously, there's nothing interesting bout her at all. the only reason why the numbers in her counter are rising is because everyday, there are new people from all over the world who wants to see how in the blue hell she cud haf won anything.
she's so boring. i doze off even before the page loads.
ala. i dont wanna go to skul. :(
syaf_5:50 AM
[1] comments
i love anderson's pe shirt
20050222
i will continue wearing it till the buttons pop out. hahaha. i meant, till it cant contain my size anymore, which would be very soon.
lunching with the people you love is always the best. we lunched at bk wheelock, we as in nad, jx and me. yati was late cos she was caught climbing the gates. haha. so cudnt join us fer lunch.
here's an interesting something [my eng is bad. my vocab is limited. i checked the meaning of "revelation" and it means revealing sth kept secret in the past. and what im bout to say is no secret]. andersonians love to bitch. haha. its in our blood to bitch. haha. i knew there was nothing wrong in my upbringing. it was the culture im in all along. haha.
sat ard eating, bitching, telling racist jokes. haha. we didnt manage to bitch for more than 2 hrs cos jx had piles [lol] so he had to leave. guess he was feeling all sad so he said
,"parting is such sweet sorrow." nadia just had to spoil it by saying,"what farting? farting sorrow..? whaat?"lol.
and she did it again as we waved jx off at the station
,"ouhh. farting is sorrow.. eh? what ah?"lmao.
went to far east where we met yati and went ard taking pics. our best pics had to be those with the act-cute-buey-cute or acbc for short, jap poses. shouting out obscenities like
"kaa-waaiiiee-nehhhh" or
"okaa-shii-nehhh" and also that lecherous pose with the mannequin. *licks plastic breast*
we also took pics of strangers' butt cleavages. fun. hell yeah.
then i followed nad to her skul and we left yati with her MI frens. i saw the nyjc-ians again. but with the addition of that chi guy lookalike and liyana.
basically, that was how i spent my day today. ya. ok.
im neither here nor there. jc/poly/jc/poly/jc/poly. most prolly i will take the jc path. i owe my mother this much at least. you may say that it's my life. but my parents are the ones who have been paying. and think about it. most people complain about having to go to skul. saying parents forced them. but in the end, when we get our first paycheque, who gets the money?
us or them?
here's a joke. not racist.
there were three boys going down the slide. if they shout whatever they wanted, they'll get it.the first boy shouted "GOLD!" when he went down the slide and when he reached the bottom, there was a pile of gold.the second boy shouted "SILVER!" and he too got what he shouted for.the third boy went down the slide and shouted "WEEEE~!" and happily slid into a puddle of piss.
syaf_6:34 PM
[0] comments
hee~
i swear i have more than one entry with that title. k nehmind.
5.30am:i was dreaming. i think i was. the day in my dream changes to night and then bak to day and then night again. i wake up and see my mother playing with the lights. she evil-grins at me. *?!* a thought then struck my head and without thinking..
i asked, "mom, izzit orite i dont go to skul today?"
she answered,"then where are u going?"
"sleep."
"ok. the skul wont say anything?"
"no, they dont care bout us anymore."
"ok la."
this convo was in malay of cos. it wud be uber weird if it was in eng. haha. then im definitely sure i was dreaming.
7.45am:msg-ed nad, yati and liyanah's mother. lol~ i wanted us to go lunch-ing. i got thru to yati and nad [who also skipped skul] and unfortunately, liy's mother as well. cos i din realise the fon wasnt wit liy. she sms-ed me back and asked who i was.
so i cheekily replied,"haha. mat bawah block kau. haha. syaf la."
[translation: haha. the mat at your void deck. haha. syaf la]that must have caused her to panic cos she called me and i was like oops sorry. lol.
ooh. JX is coming too if he replies to my msg. yay. cant wait. its been a long time since we all sat down together to eat.
syaf_8:53 AM
[3] comments
im a loser. shut up.
20050221
here i am in less than an hour.
why?
cos im stressed. results this fri. my future is not looking too bright.
argh. im gonna be a Millennian.
or worst...
syaf_7:50 PM
[0] comments
listen. the brat speaks
privacy should not be taken for granted. i lost mine. k. maybe i never had any to begin with. they read my msgs and question my choice of friends. And lately, my room has been raided by my granparents who stay here during the weekdays. so. nevermind. i just cant be bothered. really.
Please dont take ur house phones for granted either. i know, just like the door to your house, it is a necessity to most singaporeans excluding my family of course. ive been living without a home phone for more than 2 years now. so that handphone. yes the one supposedly mine and mine alone is shared between 2 other members of the family, my mother and sister.it boils blood when my mom "advises" me not to use the phone so much.
im sorry. whose sister lives across the causeway and who calls her often? hmm me? oh dear. i must have amnesia cos i really cant rmbr. ok. thats it. no more ranting. my Hell sentence is just gonna increase 100fold. oh. im such a brat.
i think i already got my punishment- on Earth, as in for now. i think my i/c is missing. *fidgets*
k. i wanted to abandon blogger. but guess im too dependant on it now. haha. i went out for dinner with 2 new people and shah. there was mas and irvin. or yana the slut as he prefers to be called. he's also another
lesbian-supporter in this band. the other one is yours truly.
ahem.we walked all the way from city hall [why? i dont know. maybe to work up an apetite] to orchard to have our pr dinner: roti nan that looked like vomit to me as it floats in the curry. i din finish it. but the guys loved it so they finished mine up for me.
the walk was fun. cos yana kept doing 3 things.
1. hold hands with shah to which shah struggled to escape everytime yana touches him.2. touch shah's ass.3. grind anything/anyone in sight.im now a grind-messenger and not doing a gud job at it. me and yana went
lesbian-hunting. i was supposed to smile at girls. if they smiled back, they might be lesbis. he shud know since he has many lesbian friends. beware of starbucks. they lurrrk.
mas was quiet like most drummers. *ponders*
ok. ya. that was it. i haf yet to meet fir. this sat maybe. ok long entry. dont think anyone will read this.
syaf_6:48 PM
[0] comments
abstract past
20050219
remember when
we used to play invisible hamster games
we used to eat raw eggs with soggy cardboard
we used to run and hide and scream at the sight of clingwrap
we used to scheme like witches with no pots
we used to sing like banshees with correct timing
we used to be rambo in pinnys
we used to laugh at maps
we used to love expired santan
we used to be little fighters
we used to make buttprints
we used to run in pink puffy-sleeved gowns
we used to iron wth dictionaries
we used to be aliens
we used to do lots of stupid things and now wondering what in the blue hell were we thinking at that point of time that drove us to take such manic actions.
...?
hahah... lol. dah la. so nostalgic this whole week.
syaf_8:48 PM
[0] comments
6 more days
6 more days to go before i know what is to become of me.
El Diablo- Tsunami Bombi thnk about whats going on
then i stop thinking about it
i had a reason to believe that something's wrong
it was only you for so long!
the pple ask but i dont hear
whats the qn anyway?
i collect cloud of memories and sell them to pple who care
not worth time or energy
take us for granted, you'll get what u ask for...
[chorus]
GO!
and dont look back at what u know
now its over, and the chapter has been closed
the slate is blank, the day is new
the past is over, future's in view
i take my strength and apply it here
obsolesence: that was what u feared.
[chorus]
when i open my eyes u'll be gone
for you it over, for me its just begun
not worth time or energy
take us for granted, you'll get what u ask for
[chorus]
let's not dwell, on the past
my memory is fading now
i dont know you
[chorus x2]
im glad my temperature's down but how can i stop this nauseating feeling?
syaf_4:34 PM
[0] comments
sad. sick
20050218
im feeling feverish. i hate first days. my pink panadols got lost somewhere. now im shivering when its 40degrees out there. i guess i wudnt feel so bad if i wasnt sad at the same time. if its true what i see, then maybe i better stand up and move on.
no reason for me to smile anymore.
ouh wait, there is. haha. sentosa outing next tues with some klazmates. hope it'll be as fun as the last time i went. cabot-ing is in order cos we need to come to skul in the mrg to mark attendance. then slack and bum the whole day. how nice.
Dimitri Strike is in its final line-up and ready for... anything. consisting of shah camacho, yana kova, fir, mas and rosie [hahahmm. k. not funny]. for everyone's info, dimitri was a name of a Russian leader. k. yay. i would love to say more. but there's nothing else to say bout DS.
ugh. fuck. i hate being sick. my immune system sucks. im sure to fall sick at least once a month.. next time ah.. *rattles off*
syaf_3:02 PM
[0] comments
i <3 u, u <3 me.
20050216
i haf no life. im typuing with two fingers so dont kmind the go=rdoss typos. wheee~ they keyboardis o my stomach k. sort of. its more like on the arm of my chairs. w wahwabsks.
haiz.
k. enuff. i need to regain sanity. green hearts are pretty dont u think?
*shrieks*
BK coupons...! so anyone free this fri? cos i think i'll still be bored by then and it wud be nice to haf a lunch partner. someone who can entertain my random crap. cos its reaching a dangerous level and i need to let it all out soon or else. . . .
There were dark clouds gathering that night. no one was at home. Distant rumbles could be heard, a sign that there was a huge storm on its way. And then without so much as a warning, the first raindrop fell, followed by the 2nd and the 3rd and the 4th and the 5th and the 6th and the 7thand8thand 9th [they fell together] and the 10th and the 11th and the 12th and the 13th and the 15th and the 16th and the 17th and the 18th and the 19thand20thand21stand22nd and the 2rd and the 24th and then the 25th and the final raindrop fell to the grpund with earth-shattering pitter-patter.
what do u know. it was a 25-raindrop storm. the clouds went away, the sun came out and everything was alright with the world again.
*laughs hysterically* im bored.
syaf_7:50 PM
[0] comments
i skipped skul.
20050215
i didnt feel like going to skul, so here i am playing with my kuzzin. i know this is wrong. this is not being thankful to God who has given me this chance to skul. :(
im confused.
can everyone please erase me from the mind? so that i dont have to talk to you? so that i wont have to be a phony. is it wrong for me not to smile? must there be something wrong with me if im not smiling?
i miss the days where i can not smile and random things will just come to my mind and when i say it, nadia will say another random thing. and we start psycho-analysing. haha.
i miss luffing at all the weird sounds karen made in class.
i miss waving at vk, karen, nadz and faz in class.
i miss making weird faces at faz when goh's teaching.
i miss getting scared half to death by jx's sneezes.
i miss yati's absolute hate towards assnah.
i miss waving at liy when i pass by her class.
i miss ducking behind anyone/any pillar/anything when assnah is approaching.
i miss xp and jp's huggs and how sweet they were.
i miss the scheming and teacher-bitching/imitating.
i miss the juice stall uncle who nvr knew my name but remembered what i always wanted despite the hundreds of students who patronise his stall everyday.
i miss the captain's ball-turned-rugby games we played during pe.
i miss luffing at the psycho nyonya who allegedly pisses in her stall. [lol. who the hell came up wit that? hahaha]
i miss assnah's crap. u have to admit she was a gud teacher at some point of time. she's a lot better than my malay teacher now. makes me think twice before wanting to take malay A.
i miss taking 265 to central.
i miss getting lost at central despite having been going there for 4 years.
i miss decorating noticeboards.
i miss the container block.
i miss going opposite even though the best they had to offer was waffles.
i miss choc/peanut-butter/cheese waffles and the aunty who sold them.
i miss going to NY to eat even tho we often got stared at.
i miss choir 2001-2002.
i miss choir/skipping choir/choir performances.
i never knew that i'll miss so many things. i never knew how big a part anderson played in my life. the people i grew up with. the people who saw me change. the people who i dont feel weird with. hell, i was weird around them and all they did was being weirder than me. haha.
hur. i guess it REALLY bothers me having to smile like some fake in my skul all day.
syaf_9:19 AM
[0] comments
prv~
20050214
movie was cancelled cos i didnt want to watch constantine again. so we had a walk-from-orchard-to-city-hall date. haha. it wudve been tiring but hey. it wasnt so bad. i din feel tired and the date was easy-going. wish we took pictures tho.
at orchard, i saw kiki and wiwi. i went "oh shit!" and hid behind shruff.
at plaza singapura i saw syuhaidah and got my valentine hug just like last year :) sad to hear bout fathien`. shit happens. :(
dear prv,
i know u wun be reading this but i'd like to say u're very adorable. very sweet to not shut me up when i sang and listened to me when i was talking. haha. not many guys do that. thank you. where's my dead rose? hahah.
love,
syaf. who else? this is my blog.
ouh. we had the fair in skul just now. hmm it was gerek cos my klaz provided photo-taking service and we took this pic. lol~ yay for nurul.
ive stopped falling. i dont know who caught me.
syaf_8:12 PM
[0] comments
the gud old days
i am chatting wit nad regarding the aforementioned. u never know how much u will miss that someone until he/she has gone away. i miss the andersonians dearly. im so glad ur paths crossed. nad has blogged bout the weird/stupid things we did in sec skul. im gonna blog bout spoonerism. its a disease whereby u mix up ur werds.. like this one which started it all..
the butt kicked my door [the door kicked my butt] >> nad
skud fool and funfair [skul food...]
soul skitters [sour skittles]
pocahonats
boonos [business]
book stuck in her nose [her nose stuck in a book] >> song from beauty and the beast.
pocket in your hole
sasat [cacat]
pakinasti [pakistani]
nocked blose [blocked nose]
mad bood [bad mood]
wanna go
bori a book? [wanna go borrow a book?]
olympic
shamers swiv [olympic swimmers shave]
closs phato [class photo]
rub the down and slope [run up and down the slope]
on ho!! [oh no!!]
costomer [customer]
we stopped sainging, it stopped rinning [we stopped singing, it stopped raining]
ur hi ted up [ur hair tied up]
subong [bongsu]
doddit [do it]
file a smake smile [smile a fale smile]
diorang ambek senapang and hit it with you [translation: they take the rifle and hit it with you.]
hahaa.. there're a lot more but these are the best ones. guys, u dont know how much i miss you all. the good and the bad.
ooH. happi valentines~ shruff! happi vday my punkrock valentine. nyeheheh...
syaf_12:11 AM
[0] comments
long hols make me bored.
20050213
"June And The Ocean"Sattelite night is how it all starts
Over horizon dreams
And then you appeared dressed in black
You drew the fear out of me
As we looked out to the sea
Freezing in waters so blue
3AM seems just fine
The nightcrawlers have left the bay
Could I have so much more to say to you?
Did you notice?
Fate seemed shy an hour ago
Look where that hour got us now
Slowly..I'll wait for you holding all honesty
As I watch the sea
When you leave here
Take in all the sounds of ocean waves just glistening
We could just run away
We were made for this anyway
An I.F.O. could steal us now
We'd leave the beach to soar against the night sky
Over the high tides
Could these hours add on to our life stories?
Now it's just another day without the sand beneath our feet
I'll never let it go
I'll keep repeating it all over and over and over
Heaven's skies in your eyes
You know they fit just fine
I heard that song today it just bled of goodbye
That summer's gone
But the late night hours will still be worn
And on the weekends out with your friends
Will you remember that mindnight wind aching?
Or the suprise before the sunrise
It's just every night I miss you so well...
this is a nice song. reminds me of... how gud his singing is. ahaks. its unfair. beggars cant be choosers. but who says im begging? definitely not being choosy. so u cant say im mean.
oh no. im falling. im so confused. i dont want to fall. help.
syaf_7:26 PM
[0] comments
punkrawk valentine
i hate complications. dont hurt me by making me hurt you. as corny as it may sound, i get hurt hurting people unless they f*cking deserve it.
ouh yay. he's gonna lend me his cable. no. not cable tv. wire cable. i can always buy the damn thing but parting with money is such a hard thing to do. boooooo. [*HAHAHA*]
ooh. yes. i wanted to blog about power rangers after seeing the advert. haha. i cant believe they're still around. but i think this wud be the last season. oh. sad. k. bluff. can u recall some of these names? Jason, Tanya, Kimberly, Tommy, Billy, Zack, Zordon, Bulk and Skull, Rita....? hur.
i rmbr the day after the first episode with my guy classmates in K2 trying to sing the theme song. they din say "Go Go Power Rangers". they went "Coco Power Ranger" hahaha. that was 11 years ago.an u imagine. of cos singapore stopped airing the show some years back. but malaysia still aired it. All the diff seasons. There were the Lightspeed Rangers, Timeforce Rangers... cant rmbr anything else.
stupid suits and stupider baddies. haha. classic.
syaf_12:45 PM
[0] comments
emo songs on a lazy sat afternoon~
20050212
im not doing much now. i feel like a pig having eaten like one and also by looking at the sty of a room mine is. shirts, bras, shorts, empty bottles, papers, sling bags, bagpack, shruff's racheal, clean socks, cds, pants, skirts, anderson pe shirt, pinafores, files, pillows, bedsheets.... everywhere. the sight is... i cant find a word for it.
instead of cleaning up my room, what am i doing? im playing with the new anklet my mother bought me. haha. there's this tiny bell and it makes the sweetest tinkling sound when i shake it. hur.
sellowly getting depressed. results are coming out in less than 2 weeks. one week and 6 days ackchellie. weird thots are getting into my head. bad BAD weird WEIRD thots. like...
what if my results suck and i cant stay in my current intstitution.
what if my results are such that im in between. no jc, no poly, no ci, no ITE, no
going back.
what if my results suck so bad facing my family will prove impossible.
what if that happens and i haf to be like that dude who cant leave the airport terminal.
. . . ?
life sucks for losers like me.
syaf_4:34 PM
[0] comments
not titled
20050211
im listening to shruff sing. sing and play the guit. i think its my guit he's playing. hahaks. its so fun to haf frens living so nearby. anytime bleh jumpe. yeh. gud luck to kdj tmr. all the best~
im also looking at nad's wonderful skin. nyahah. man. no one draws like her. makes me wonder what goes on in her head sometimes. mesti gerek with all her weirdness. haha.
geylang trip with mr step mane nye chino was enlightening, k bedek. haha. but it was nice seeing old frens. yea.
k nytes~
syaf_10:49 PM
[0] comments
why i dont update everyday
even when i had my diary, i didnt update evryday BECAUSE some days are just so darn boring and not worth remembering. its the same here.
ouh yehh~! thanks to my principal, mrs ong, millennians get today off. shes a clever woman. its inevitable that 3/4 of the student population will skip today had there been skul so why not extend the holidays? and now here i am rotting at home. i'll stop rotting in the afternoon cos i'll be at geylang looking for henna for monday's skul fair.
skul fair on v.day? who ever heard of that? doesnt matter. im dateless. hahaks. duh. k not exactly. it depends on what time skul finishes. if its early, i'll haf a date. if its late, i wont. haha. OH im a very confused girl right now. my maybe-date is relli adorable. right shruff? hur. DONT forget the dead rose.
ok. got me some rotting to do.
syaf_9:00 AM
[0] comments
I <3 Agent M.
20050209
hur. before i type anything else...
Happy Chinese New Year to all those celebrating it.. :) [its a culture thing. not religious right? so that means u celebrate chi new yr even tho u're a devout catholic right?]
k. i had a movie date with . . . . none other than muhd yazid a. jalil himself. haha. he sort of asked me out. HE. ASKED. ME. i know u people haf screwed-up minds and probably thinking i forced him to go out with me or sth. haha.
we watched constantine. its a gud movie, very
"the one"-ish as yazid puts it, with its share of funny bits. but sadly, only me and yazid laughed. the crowd was dead. we headed to town after that. went to HMV and then Borders. i got excited over this notebook made up of brown recycled paper. so it looks sort of olskool. i ended up buying it. i know it'll make a great sketchbook.
never a boring moment with yazid, we all know that. haha. he has big dreams of coming up with his own movie. haha. he wants it artistic and injected with some slapstick humour. k. imagine this scene. you're watching a movie when a commercial comes on. a man walks into a room and someone runs into him. the person who got hit then asked the person who ran into him,"are u okay?" the person will reply,"yes. i am Okay." while pointing at a nametag which says,
"OKAY".
haha~ all the best to yazid.
i dont know whats wrong with my throat. those who talk to me must have noticed that i clear my throat every 10 mins. and my voice is weird, frog-like. haha. it gets irritating all this phlegm in my throat. i cant seem to spit it all out. ergh. makes me wonder how im gonna sing...
I WANT DARK BLUE HAIRDYE.
syaf_7:59 PM
[0] comments
time
20050208
4.30 a.m.:
woke up fer skul.
5.30 a.m.:
took the first train from admiralty with all the smelly people who dont bathe in the morning. cold maa~ heeyer. [grumble] ching chong chong cheng [/grumble].
6.20 a.m.:
reached skul. all alone in the dark pre-war building. so i sat in the foyer. the onli place in the whole skul which was lighted.
6.30-9++ a.m.:
seniors came. prepared fer our performance. first item of the day. the performance cudve been better. its over now. *gushes* the guitarist of dyna turmoil is my senior...! haha. k thats dumb. like who cares. im not even sure if that piece of information is correct considering that i din stay fer the last slot the other day.
9++ a.m.:
went home.
12-3 p.m.:
played yahoo! pool with a thai, amaerican and malaysian.
3-7 p.m:
i donno what happened. its a blur.
7-9 p.m.:
i still dont know. im onine and i haf no idea what im doing. k. listening to music, chatting and yeh blogging.
boring right? who asked you to read?
syaf_8:44 PM
[0] comments
i crashed and died.
20050207
i only came to skul for the 2nd half of the day. right before econs test. DONT ASK. IT SUCKED. all of us dishonest souls cheated and got caught in the process. not directly but most of us had to stop cheating halfway. i somehow managed to write a page for the first part [DUH. i cheated.] and a paragraph for the second part.
and i spent the last 20 mins or so staring at the
breath-taking architecture of Millenia Institute Bartley campus from the window i was sitting next to. lets see. [bimbo moment] i will fail. [/bimbo moment]
k. that was at 11. i took a last minute decision on the train with zu and crashed ny. i hid in their wonderful toilet, seriously it was nice, during assembly and headed for maths tutorial with nadia. hahaha. it was fun except that econs test was lurking in my mind about the whole time i was at ny. the maths teacher knew i was a crasher but he did nothing. silly funny old man. then went to their malay room to slack and listen to hazri play and sing. wow.
-melts-
thats about it. i din haf the mood to attend any other lesson after the test so i ate my depression away in the canteen.
i haf a qn: who knows where to get weird haircuts? i want a new look after my hair grows long enuff. im sick of my hairstyle.
NADIA. KO TEROK SEH. PASSWORD-LOCK BLOG KO. ABEH AKU NAK BACE CAM NE? TAK KE KESIANKAN AKU? ABEH TAKNAK KASI PASSWORD KO KAT AKU.. APERR SEHHH.
k zu. ur badge is wit me. hahaks. when im free i'll return it to you.. in a month's time? k. set.
syaf_6:05 PM
[0] comments
moshy moshy
20050205
yea. im no longer a virgin mosher. the rp gig this time was a lot better than the one last month. its more aggressive this time. emocore, goth rock, pop punk acts made the crowd go wild.
i went with ash and his kuzzin. they were like 2 over-sized care bears. adorable to the max. haha~ i missed munchies at 9 but got to see otherbandswhosenamesicantremember and i left before dyna turmoil. cudnt stay out late. relli wanted to see them... mebbe next time.
when i came in, i met am and fren.. she asked me to join her and mosh so i did. the first time was scary cos the guys showed no mercy. k. they did in the sense that they helped those who fell ah. and i was one of the few who did. i had to be saved [literally] twice. man. i was being stepped on and kicked everywhere. haha. no harm done.
my 2nd mosh was short-lived cos i was pushed and i hit the ground with a fucking bang. for a split second, i saw stars. serious. everything went black and i saw stars. now i have little swells at the back of my head. so now im a bit apprehensive when im asked to mosh after that.
i donno who rocked the stage the best cos basically they all sound the same to me. loud and noisy. just the way i, they, we all love it.
next time, i'll bring a fricken helmet.
syaf_9:57 PM
[0] comments
yakult straw~
20050204
before the blood donation, i had fun with rachael's digicam. THANKS SO MUCH. nyaaa~
the whole skul got apples thanks to our beloved alumni. we had APPLE DAY today. and we ate these in klaz...
despite the sign...
check out the olskool windows and classrooms outside.
this is my bag. drew everything myself.
the first thing i drew on the bag.
just LOVE the gun.
why pay when u can do it urself?
funni sark. clockwise from the top. rachael, hanis and nisa..
releksing...after biz management lecture was cut short thanks to the blood donation.
k. bout the blood donation. not everyone got to donate cos of low amt of iron in their blood. so i was the lucky few who cud. uh. depends on how u see it la. i love jabs.. sooo.. when i heard that the needle was gonna be as thick as A YAKULT STRAW, i scoffed to myself.
THEN i saw it. fuck. i was shocked shitless. hahaks. the process took me 12 mins and then they gave me milo and biscuits. they wrapped my arms in a pink bandange with smileys on it. hur. i saved 4 lives today! yay~
about: blank
20050203
im unsure of myself these days. feeling kental. i know of one way to get rid of the godawful feeling and that is GROWING UP. hur. annoying childish me.
mebbe if i stop bitching bout that farzana.
mebbe if i concentrate on skul a bit more.
mebbe if i talk less. shut up more.
mebbe if i do my work.
mebbe if i stop luffing so much.
mebbe if i be less happy bout life.
mebbe that's how i grow up and get rid of the kentalness. i've done it before but i felt so sad and angry all the time. k.
i wanna change my skin~ getting tired of this one. but im too fricken lazy. er. Oi! songs are nice but stupid. they make no sense. hEe~!
syaf_3:50 PM
[0] comments
unnecessary tears were shed~
20050202
[no, not mine.]
i had dikir pract today which was pretty much screwed-up. you know what.. i really dont get what the fucking hoohah is all about. i dont get why they must rake up the past. why are they bringing in all those old stories out the grievances toh tuck and bartley APPARENTLY share? they're using it as an excuse and deep down, i think they fricken know it.
ask urself this... really? DO TOH TUCK PEOPLE REALLY LOATHE OUR GUTS? REALLY? i wud so love to hear the answer to that, once u open that blindfold and see the truth. if ever at all.
these practises are supposed to be fun and you're ruining it. u're turning into a competiton where the only competitors are us. mebbe it's to prove to the teachers espech mdm rahsia, who was originally from toh tuck, that we can be good despite our pathetic number. but i think it becomes a task once they put it in that light. it has indirectly cancelled out the fun factor.
serious is serious, fun is fun. why dont we put them together. and PLEASE. FOR FUCK'S SAKE. THE TOH TUCK PEOPLE HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH HOW WE PERFORM ON CNY NEXT TUES. like. seriously.
this THING has been going on for way too long and the only ones who are suffering are us.
syaf_8:04 PM
[0] comments
onesevenfour.bored.
20050130
hur. this is on my bag too. uhm k. he's not waving on my bag. and i drew the whole body. complete with sneaks. lazy to maneuver the damn mouse la. hur hur hur. i wanted to draw him after playing shadows with yazid. shadow puppets. haha. we were waiting for the bleeding bus and gots relllli boorred. i pointed my middle finger to see what it'd look like and yah. i saw rick. haha. yazid was trying to eat my hand up with his snake. stupid fun.
syaf_1:47 PM
[0] comments
take her to the store
20050129
whee~ gots my ear pierced- again. haha. the last hole closed. dammit. $4 out of the window. and this hole cost me only $3. what a deal.
i had every good intention to go to the lib after piercing my ears to complete whatever homework i might have but in the end, lost my will to cross the road that led to the civics centre. too many sinaporeans in the afternoon heat. so i slept the rest of the day and just woke up half an hr ago. i feel like a pig.
didnt go to his house today cos he woke up late. looking forward to meet the new members. wonder what they look like. heee~
the time we spent was short and i hope we ended it on a gud note. forget whatever grievances we might have had and remember only the gud things we shared. you guys were great. its nice to know you were there and if you stick to ur word, will still be there. all the best i wish to dhil and didi in your respective bands. its been swell. :)
orites~ lets get started.
syaf_10:15 PM
[0] comments
can i say this? i hate this tech crap before me.
20050128
i hate this. this is the 6th time i opened my internet explorer. it closed on me the 5 times before this. i wont complain. its gud enuff i even own this tech crap.
please proceed to nadia's blog. she has a real sad story to tell. nehmind. like they say. what comes around comes around.
yay. im in the midst of reading stephen king's christine. i know i know. im so backdated. i borrowed it from my skul lib and the book goes all the way backto 1995. i feel so old. we were what... 7? 10 years ago. oh wow. now i feel fossilique. k.
after skul, went to town to complete our econs project but the laptop died on us even before we cud finish up 25% of it. after racheal and hanis went off, me and runni went to the heeren. wanted to look for dark blue hair dye but forgot bout it and went window shopping instead. we annoyed ourselves by talking about those fucking babatuated minahs and how they seem to be
running crawling all over the place. they cant run. we dont want craters like the moon.
and in the train ride home, we gawked.. ok not really la. stared out of curiosity at a grp of what SEEMS to be madrasah people. guys and girls. trust me. dont trust them by looking at their oh-so-decent appearences. runni told me some shocking or fascinating, rather, about these so called alim people. of cos. keep in mind, she was talking about onli mebbe 5% of the whole population. but STILL . . . .
eke. back to econs project before this tech crap starts playing games with me.
syaf_7:22 PM
[0] comments
so what's next?
20050126
ok. im not talking to annas right? i had a gud reason and right now im not sure if the reason is gud enuff to continue making this his fault. do i have the right to be angry? i dont know. so he did apologise. 3 times. but me being the bimbitch i am din accept his apologies. why? i dont know.
guess i wanted to be away from him a little while. and now the little while has turned to a very long while. hmm. not relli. considering that i did not talk to him for 2 weeks before. so yea. this can go on till next thurs. im bad at confrontations and worse off in admitting mistakes whatmore apologising for them.
so that leaves me with the qn of my lifetime. what's next?
on a brighter note... i got tackled in PE today. whoo~ we were playing captain's ball. one moment i was blocking a pass and the next my klazmate ran into me in full force hitting me square on the stomach. it took the breath out of me. so i went down. like a nangke busok. like drama mama sial~
i was clutching my stomach cos i relli cudnt breathe. and the worst thing, i cudnt see. they helped me up 3 times and all 3 times i fell down. i just cudnt keep balance. cos i cudnt see a damned thing! i stared at mr azlan as he spoke to me. wth the man sed i had no idea. i relli looked like a dumbfuck. never have i been hit so hard. but i enjoyed it man. i was smiling like A. DUMBFUCK. all the way. i went on to thank the dude who hit me. haha. its a no wonder people like rugby so much.
in MCS. we did some Bali dance. it was agonising. not advised if u happen to haf PE on the same day as training. my thighs burned. pain pain pain. but the dance is kul. but painful.
ok. i wanna look for food. im hungry~
syaf_7:18 PM
[0] comments
disorientation
20050125
hur. banner nice ah. and yes. go buy it. support tsunami bomb.
k. im procrastinating again. i din want to update cos im gonna end up talking bout skulwerk, apparently sth i suddenly have a lot of. suddenly. shocking you know. k. im becoming all noisy again. i nid to stop talking so much.
even if it made me feel somewhat depressed and suppressed. and yet made me feel good. talking gives me a headache.
if glares could kill~
20050124
MINAHCUMBIMBOFUCKK.
bitch. i know you have nice legs. but i swear to God. the next time u lift that bloody pinny of yours to show off ur thighs, i will MAKE SURE you wish that you were wearing pants instead. tiada simpati bagimu sundal. seriously, she looks stupid and it doesnt take a smart person to tell that she's stupid too.
ok. i relli shudnt bitch bout people like that. they didnt do anything wrong to me. but seeing how oh-so-smart these people can get makes you lose IQ points. and the fact they seem to think people like them cos their pinafores end 30 cm above their knees is blood-boiling.
*breathes in*
met nad, nadz, zu and uhm hazri fer lunch today at cineleisure. hee~ lovely. i miss town so so much considering that me and nad used to go there like every other week to eat at BK. or just people-watch. the sky was bluer then. oh well.
u know what? of cos u dont. but im going to tell you. i have homework. *nods*
syaf_6:30 PM
[0] comments
black mucus. wtf?!
20050122
in the morning i trudged to shah's place for session. i was coughing like my life depended on it. bloody phlegm. i WISH i did have bloody phlegm. at least it wud explain all this monstrous coughing.
we worked on my timing which was ackchelli very good at sucking. i guess i got better towards the end after ridding off the initial jitters which i seemed to have. i heard our original which was quite gud and tried to fit in my lyrics. the song is called "dead still air" hur. emo. punk. rawk. \m/.
then headed for the NYP open house after that with nani and nadia. we walked around. i met an ex-skulmate who remembered me. he kept going "head prefect! head prefect!" gosh. im flattered he still recognised me but calling me THAT... *shudders* ive changed ok? the dance by uhm "stage art" was ok la. but me and nad thot the dance last yr was more whoah. "foreign bodies" sucked.
i wanted to go home after that cos the i was beginning to feel relli weird. my voice had gone all funny. you know, like before u go to bed? that kinda voice. nani and nad stopped me from gg hm and i was like,"aaHHHH.. NoooO." in my funny voice. din relli struggle so ended up following them to ngee an city.
and ta-daa. i died. it wasnt eye-fucking. it was mass-eye-orgy. *!!!* it was a whole football team of cute guys. man. i squeeled like some dumbfuck. and got to see some of the footballers up close. my gawd. those guys are relli God's gift to uhm singapore. makes me wanna watch s-league again. hur.
after taking pics and autograffs, we sat down slurpee-ing. haha. then me and nad imitated the singer on stage. woosh. he sang like he had an 18-wheeler up his nose. we provided some damn gud entertainment. even that passing cutie cudnt resist smiling and glancing our way. nyaHAH.
ya. so that ends my very exciting saturday. ouh btw. i dun haf black mucus. *COUGHCOUGH* heeeeeyyyerr.
syaf_7:54 PM
[0] comments
hee~
20050121
Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha kepada semua umat Islam. Semoga Allah SAW mengampuni dosa-dosa kita dan memberkati kita yang sentiasa mengingatiNYA.
I love it when luqman kisses me. such a swit boi.
syaf_6:50 AM
[0] comments
cold winds bringer of illnesses.
20050120
i a m s o s i c k . . .
my fingers and feet are so cold, the rest of my body is 40degrees, my head is spinning, my nose hurts and i have difficulty breathing. but im thankful. it can be a lot worst. at least im not barfing blood.
my body is aching but i have no idea if its the PE i had ytd or the menses im having now or the cold im about to get. hmm.
annas is so weird. i cannot understand him. CANNOT. he is incomprehensible beyond reason. when we were walking just now, he said, "im sori. but i cant tell you what im sori for cos i dont think u shud know."
obviously i wanted to know what the hell he was apologising for so i begged him to tell me.
he then gave me that
"slap-me-i-nid-a-fucking-slap" look and took back his apology. what the hell? so i told him to think about his rationale which isnt rational at all. i know people have pride but its very rare when i talk calmly in these situations. it shows that im thinking instead of just blurting out fricken profanities. usually, i'll be the first one to get pissed off.
seriously. we're not 12 anymore. i donno laa. u are about to be an adult and if u choose to let ur heart do the thinking
all the time, i haf nothing to say to you anymore.
syaf_6:22 PM
[0] comments
im sick
20050119
i had PE today. i wudnt say torture. it was fun ackchellie but i got sick after that and it sucks. Mr Azlan made us squat down at the blow of his whistle AND shout "hurrghh" like some crazed wrestler and shout "MI!!" with our hands in the air when we stand. Mr Haikel lost his voice but no...... a person like him enjoys attention too much so he was at the behind Mr Azlan making weird faces all the way.
*feels forehead* makkau. can fry egg.
i went to toh tuck campus today for MCS and i felt weird. the place lacks gud-looking people. hahaa.. im referring to the seniors. they arent as pretty as the seniors i haf at bartley. im not toking bout guys here. *horrified look* and NO. im NOT lesbian. thank you. i guess people crave what they cant get and in my case, gud looks. haha.
the instructor was some malay tv actor whose name i know people wun noe so i wun bother mentioning. ok. what the heck. mokhtar. u know him? no riiight. uhm. did some dance steps, got the usual "i nid ur commitment in this shit people" talk that almost all malay meetings seem to have. it wasnt fun. cos after rika left, i was the onli pre-u one. dammit. thank god the kakaks loved to smile.
ah. i dun relli care if i dun make the cut. nyaaaa. contradictory arent i? ok. my body is aching. bye.
syaf_8:08 PM
[0] comments
of tsunamis and armageddon
20050117
i had a new geog teacher coming in from toh tuck campus today. she was fuckentastic. she made me like a subject i had begun to hate and made me see it as the interesting subject it can be. she taught the class with such passion that i might ackchelli wanna take the subj for As.
10 minutes into the lesson, the class looked out. there was this guy standing outside the lect room styling his hair. the thing bout the windows is that people inside can see outside, and not vice versa. hahah. we laughed at him for like 5 minutes or so until his fren pointed at the us. he peered inside and ta-daa... saw a group of yr ones luffing at him including the teacher. nyahaA. it doesnt pay to be a narc all the time.
yazid told me this joke while we were lunching at LJS...
there was this relli old couple. one day, the husband died. the wife was so devastated that she lost a husband of 60 yrs and decided to commit suicide. she wanted to do it the quickest way possible, shoot her heart. the problem was, she didnt know where her heart was. so che called the doc.
woman: doc, where is my heart?
doc: it is under your left breast.
woman: ok, thank you.
the doc wondered why she asked him such a strange qn and became worried. so he payed her a visit the next day. what he found was the woman lying on the floor in a pool of blood. and he also found that she had shot her left knee.
haha.
then yazid told us USA predicted that a tsunami wud hit them wiping off the entire eastern coastline. it is sed that a volcanic island of Africa wud erupt and half the island wud colapse into the sea causing a tsunami. coastline, meaning cities wud be destroyed. not just the shores. destroyed by a tsunami which came from an island a whole ocean away.
syaf_5:36 PM
[0] comments
narcfuckennarc
20050116
<----that was what i was trying to draw.---->
haha. i look better as a cartoon. hmmm. tmr is another day at skul. damn. tmr will either shock or surprise me. cos i haf no idea whats the timtetable fer tmr. im praying relli hard that i wont haf PE. or GP. miss yani is such a MUTT. "bitch" is much too classy for her.
*stares at sister doing art* some people are so lucky.
i think i was pms-ing the other day. felt so... sian. imma work hard and try not to be slack so much. wahaha. what crap am i typing? this will only be the third week of skul. heeyerr.
im listening to coldplay's shiver. it brings back gud memories of 2oo3. it was a great year and mebbe also the worst. but hey, remembering the gud is so much better. if onli i can go back in time. even if i just sit in a corner and watch everything take place. oh welllll.....
this feeling again.
20050114
just came back from sec one campfire. and for once, i wanted to be nice to them. i had fun basically screaming la. din relli talk to the teachers. there were a lot of huggs, group huggs, lesbian huggs. oh. i miss you all so much. nani cried and i felt like joining her but somehow managed to hold it back. from the sounds of it, they're all having fun at their respective JCs and workplaces. and i felt so
________ when the NY people did their cheers.
then some undesirable things took place and i felt kinda helpless cos im in the dark bout the whole thing but whatever it is, my stand is behind yati all the way.
im like having second thoughts bout everything. everything in my life right now. having second thoughts about skul and outside skul. i just dont haf the same enthusiasm like when i first started. its coming to a point when i wonder why i bother to be involved in things or why i bother to be nice to people and make them like me.
i guess you can see it on my face sometimes. when they ask me whats wrong, i tell them im sleepy. seriously i dont know why i am trying so hard to be friendly. its getting to me and right now, all i wanna do is run away from those who are closest to me.
like annas. but i think its diff for him. i feel choked. we may be gud frens but i donno sometimes i feel like he thinks its more than that. very blatantly i'll say this. im quite revolted by the very idea. its
NOT annas. its the fact that i haf someone who knows me very well. or
THINKS he knows me very well. i dont know. i cant breathe and now i just wanna get away.
again.
im such a bitch. i just wanna quit everything and start all over.
syaf_11:24 PM
[0] comments
ohjeeseben
20050113
after skul i had an impromptu outing with a section of oG7. after much discussion, we decided to eat at the ceena stall opposite parco bugis junction. after eating, we played the number game. we took turns guessing what the number was and the person who gets it right will be served this nice concoction of mee rebus, cili padi, wantan soup and coke plus some other mysterious ingredients.
is and i got it twice but our oGL, akbar, got it thrice and the third time, he had to eat the mysterious ingredients including the cili padis. his ears were like red and he was fanning it as if they were steaming.
aidah joined us after we ate and we walk2 at parco fer a while. i was dragging aidah to all the places wic sold perfumes and we both got high sniffing the scented pieces of paper. aidah was sniffing her red earth sample all the way home. haha. she was QUiTe. HiGh.
we wanted to dare someone to walk through the sprouting water thing in the middle of parco but i din think anyone wanted to get their uni wet [considering that the water sprouts from below....]. sandra was all on but hmm. donno what happened la.
me, aidah and akbar got on the train heading to the north and gossiped a bit. hur. akbar relli reminds me of nizam but with 80% less estrogen. sshhh. he reminded me so much of nizam that when i suggested we baked cookies at aidah's place fer v.day, i expected him to be all on but he was like.."uhm, mcm tak manis gitu.".
then it occurred to me he's not our niz. hahah. see? i miss you all. wellll. gotta go. family tree is due tomorrow. i dont haf a small family.
syaf_7:23 PM
[0] comments
cant we settle this?
20050112
in the morning i had PE with mr Haikel. that guy was such an ass. the lesson was intense and the worst thing was he kept making us laugh. we had to do jumping jacks and some of the girls had their arms flailing about everywhere. He tried imitating them by waving HIS arms about like some gay. man. i swear to you, another hour of PE and i wud haf left the gym with abs.
i went fer MCS meeting today and like all malay gatherings, side-splitting luffter is sure to accompany. there were the seniors who kept making fun of the pres's accent and basically making fun of everyone else around them and there was that gorgeous kakak *stares into space*
no. im not lesbian. but i love lesbian sex. mmmm.
after the meeting, i stayed a while, ok an hour, with some of the seniors [relli senior. cos they were like what..20?] to sembang-sembang a bit. one of them was esfan's younger sister, anith. hahah.. mulot laser beb. esfan wud have rounder eyes if he knew what his younger sis is relli like. let's say she's a walking juxtapose, a councillor who doesnt follow ALL the rules. my type of person la.
then we went off for lunch at banquet. nyahah. i love my seniors. i relli feel welcomed. and they wanted to buy 4D when annas and i told them we had decided to stay in MI.
but they told me some troubling things. some things i was sceptical about. something regarding the notorious history toh tuck and bartley apparently shared. i shant say exactly what cos i cant. those in MCS and with seniors like mine wud know what im talking about.
i just think that things
CAN be changed. i know this is corny
BUT nothing can explain what i feel about the situation better than this...
hilang adat tegal muafakat.
if history can be rewritten so can this petty riff between us be erased.
syaf_7:39 PM
[0] comments
shit. 5 days left
20050111
uhm i wanted to blog bout this person from my OG.. but i feel kinda bad fer her cos i sense something's not right. so i wont be a bitch bout it. [it's only been two fricken weeks]
k.
skipped history and geog today. uber gerekness. stayed in the lib and read my book fer a while then joined
aaron, aidaH [nah. amek kau. hahah.], liucious [ i haf no idea how his name is spelled] and darryl. aidah taught me daidee, a card game i forgot how to play, and she gave us this puzzle. aaron tried doing it in 5 minutes. he din succeed.
it was a nice picture. 5 students from 5 different skools skipping class to play daidee in the library.
when the bell rang for econs period, we ran to the audit passing by the disp mistress who was teaching in the next class. ah. we were prolly a blur when we ran. haha.
syaf_5:22 PM
[0] comments
drama club romance
20050110
Dan Brown's The Da Vinci Code is highly recommended. two words. fucken gud. it'll blow you're brains out.
anyone going for the Feb6 gig at substation, msg me. so we can go together. thanks.
i hate standing up and introducing myself to a klaz. it's so unnatural. it's not like those 30++ people are going to remember who you are whatmore your name. i had to do that in my klaz today. i know its silly getting all worked up by that simple act of telling strangers your name but like i said, i find it unnatural. they prolly thought i am a dimwit in pinafore.
who has The Used's new album to lend me? who here knows who's The Used? *hur*
k. i haf nothing else to say except that im slowly getting that tired feeling of not wanting to attend skul again. it sucks and i hope it'll go away fast. ouh yea. i might be joining GPA. might. as long as they dont make me dance.
syaf_8:26 PM
[0] comments
the end wont justify the means
20050106
i relli miss the warmth.
upon serious pondering [ my eng has gone down the drain], i really lack a lot of maturity. i relli dont know whether i have the capacity to be more matured in thinking. for i have no idea who's sake, i am going to be 17 and in three yrs, 20 and i still act like im 14.
agh. people just hours away are mourning for reasons well known to the rest of the world and here i am wondering why i still say "sho cute".
syaf_7:32 PM
[0] comments
only the 3rd day
20050105
nas pisses me off sometimes. i dont get why he has to be liddat. irritating.
ANNOYING PISS OF SHIT.
ok.
today was the last day of orientation. uhm. kinda sad la. considering that the og will only have another week before we're separated into our respective classes. lessons start tomorrow. not sure if i'll be orite at the end of the day cos its been a long time since i wrote sense on a piece of paper or sat down and listened to what a teacher has to say.
the mass dance was uber gerek. of cos i had aidah as my lesbian partner. we totalleh rocked. haha... *shake it yehh shake it* gonna miss my OGLs. they've bin relli nice. LOVE YOU LINDA & AKBAR. and ouh yes my og.. we won 2nd place.. yay. then had lots of sweets to bring back home.
eke. im hungry and still pissed. i'll come up with a more interesting entry soon enuff. still cracking my head over the readioactive thing.
syaf_6:09 PM
[0] comments
ok.
20050103
its so cute i had to post this. i guided luqman's hand as he drew it. haha.. this one die-hard fan of barney.. sial..
entry of my day is belooww..
syaf_8:56 PM
[0] comments
first day
i need to come up with better titles.
it feels good to be a millenian. i haf a gud feeling about the skul.
*okay my kuzzin wants to type something. haiyouh.*
Luqman: barneyrtuhh luqmkyrqystg t770djhkko
haha. okay. i helped him type out barney. the rest was all his werk. quite fascinated by the spacebar. maak. he's heavy man for a four-yr old. i cant feel my legs.
okay. back to blogging. uhm. the usual drill make new friends, meet the teachers, play games, speeches here and there. MI wasnt as boring as i thought it'd be. one of my OGLs reminds me of Hasif.
ouh yes. we had mass dance session. wahaha.. samba baby.. it was fun cos my partner, darryn [or is it eric? damn. hahahah. i think its darryn ah. orrrr.. it cud be derrick. damn] is like one and a half times my height. i had to spin him and he was like luffing at me. hahaa. tip-toe ah. NEHmind. no point.
the people i met today was prinya from VS, selena from SJC, aidah from Deyi, Darryn from Bishan Park
["hi! im darryn. bishan park is really next to my skul"] and several others but my day was basically spent with aidah. uhm glad people actually wanted to talk to me. haa.
i can see myself spending three years in this skul. none of that
"shit. i HATE this skul. i HATE the teachers. i HATE the subjects. i HATE you and you and you and you..." hahah. like i sed, i feel gud bout MI. but fer the first three months, ART is not offered as a subj. *!!!* welll... business management sounds reellliii gud to me. want to start t-shirt shop what. okay. that might be in the very distant future BUT im making sure it WILL become reality... someday.
the DM is another pau. nyaaaa..
ur aunty ah chip sen? hahaaa...
ouh cikgu melayu die mcm cikgu razilah. my batch ade lebih kurang 50 budak melayu. satucuteokdiam.haha. cikgu die klaka ah. definitely a refreshing change from assnah. i can opt not to take malay and miss out in the socialising?? NO WAY. cikgu melayu tu ckp ah.. ade empat categories of kids. haha. then she mentioned one..
"ahh.. ade satu kategori plajar2 nak masok JC tapi tak dapat pasal prelim tak bagos. tak blaja kan. padan muke." haha.. kekek siot.
ok. i think i typd out enuff. sorry fer the scattered writing. ah. bile mase aku coordinated?
oh.
nadia cicak is in my skul. *!!!!!!*
ok GO! *here is luqman, again. nah amek kau*
Luqman: ifjk abcddddeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff ghijklmnopp qrs
syaf_8:38 PM
[0] comments
untitled
20050102
the radioactive t-shirt design compy is on again. so.
im in a group called Hemes. Annas is in Athena. this is so. so. if i tell you that i dont know how to pronounce 'Hemes', would you be able to understand my plight? my batch going to OI [ damn. why must they change it to MI. it wud haf bin uber kul to tell pple u're from OI] currently has, i think, at least 15 nuruls and i think like 10 nurs and mebbe 5 muhds/mohds. haha.. OR sumthing liddat...
the only way to find out is.. go to skul tmr. so anxious im clamming up.
maybe becos the damn hairdresser cut my hair. DAMN YOU. it took me 3 MONTHS you fucking bitch to grow my hair to that length. all i asked for was a trim, a layer, not a fuckin shave! gRRR.
haha. pls la. im not full of
pent-up teenage angst. my hair is short now but the lady [see, im nice.] said it'll help my hair grow in a more manageable manner. ya. and it'll grow faster too. AND i get a new look. so what do i have to be angry about?
kk. im gonna sleep. wah! [say it like this. "waHH". not "waaaH" haha]
ooh. enjoy the song. its by
The Kinks called
Louie Louie.
syaf_9:32 PM
[0] comments
last day.
20041231
today marks the last day of probably the most eventful year of my life. so many things have taken place this year that has changed me as a person. i know i have mentioned it before, but i would like to say it again. i am so so thankful. even though some of the changes that i went through made me somewhat less caring and more bitchy according to those who were close to me.
this year proved eventful for i made new friends, lost one, strengthened the friendships that i have and i also discovered new things about myself and others around me. O levels made me closer to my chinese classmates namely, jenrine, vk, karen and non-classmate, byy. studying for Os would have never been the same without this lot. i shall miss you all dearly.
then there were things i went through with the class which made 4/3 2004 one of the best classes i have ever been in. i repeat. best EVER. i have grown a special bond with this class becos this class, to simply put it, kicks ass. haha. even the teachers which took on 4/3 had attitude. we owe the world to Mdm Has. we wouldnt have survived this yr without her. we had our highs which were not so high and our lows which were all bottomless-pit-lows and despite that, she stuck to being our form teacher. man.
and how can i forget our various subj teachers, Mr Chye, Mr Yu. Mrs Goh, Mdm Lim, Mrs Hyunh and yes. u too u old hag, Cikgu Asnah. i will miss them soso much cos i heard teachers teaching beyond secondary edu can be asses. bless you all and bless us too for what we're about to go through.
ok, finally, i would like to thank one person for being there for me even if it was only for a short while and ended quite miserably. [i doubt he'll be reading this but whats the harm in hoping..] he showed me what it was like to be selfless and to care for another human being. i have to say this cos i can never move on if i dont. thank you shadiq. sorry if i had been a bitch. sorry for all the things i did not say. sorry for all the things i did not do. sorry if hadnt been any more understanding. you were great. i dont know if i said this before. i relli appreciate what we had. even if i mean nothing to you today.
HAPPY NEW YEAR.
syaf_9:36 PM
[0] comments
ouhkaaay. scared now?
Antara TANDA2 KIAMAT KECIL berdasarkan hadis:
1) Penaklukan Baitulmuqaddis. Dari Auf b.Malik r.a. katanya, Rasulullah s.a.w telah bersabda: "Aku menghitung 6 perkara menjelang hari kiamat." Baginda menyebutkan salah 1 diantaranya, iaitu penaklukan Baitulmuqaddis." - Sahih Bukhari
2) Zina bermaharajalela."Dan tinggallah manusia2 yang buruk, yang seenaknya melakukan persetubuhan seperti himar (keldai). Maka pada zaman mereka inilah kiamat akan datang." - Sahih Muslim
3) Bermaharajalela alat muzik. "Pada akhir zaman akan terjadi tanah runtuh, rusuhan & perubahan muka." Ada yang bertanya kepada Rasulullah; "Wahai Rasulullah bila hal ini terjadi?" Baginda menjawab; "Apabila telah bermaharajalela bunyian (muzik) & penyanyi2 wanita" -Ibnu Majah
4) Menghias masjid & membanggakannya. "Di antara tanda2 telah dekatnya kiamat ialah manusia bermegahan dalam mendirikan masjid" - Riwayat Nasai.
5) Munculnya kekejian, memutuskan kerabat & hubungan dengan tetangga tidak baik. "Tidak akan datang kiamat sehingga banyak perbuatan & perkataan keji, memutuskan hubungan> silaturahim & sikap yang buruk dalam tetangga." - Riwayat Ahmad dan Hakim.
6) Ramai orang soleh meninggal dunia. "Tidak akan datang hari kiamat sehingga Allah mengambil orang2 yang baik & ahli agama di muka bumi, maka tiada yang tinggal padanya kecuali orang2 yang hina & buruk yang tidak mengetahui yang makruf dan tidak mengingkari kemungkaran" - Riwayat Ahmad
7) Orang yang hina mendapat kedudukan terhormat. "Di antara tanda semakin dekatnya kiamat ialah dunia akan dikuasai oleh Luka' bin Luka' (orang yang bodoh & hina). Maka orang yang paling baik ketika itu ialah orang yang beriman yang diapit oleh 2 orang mulia" - Riwayat Thabrani
8) Mengucapkan salam kepada orang yang dikenalnya sahaja. "Sesungguhnya di antara tanda2 telah dekatnya hari kiamat ialah manusia tidak mahu mengucapkan salam kepada orang lain kecuali yang dikenalnya saja." - Riwayat Ahmad
9) Banyak wanita yang berpakaian tetapi hakikatnya telanjang. Diriwayatkan dari Abu Hurairah r.a. "Di antara tanda2 telah hari kiamat ialah akan muncul pakaian2 wanita & apabila mereka memakainya keadaannya seperti telanjang".
10) Bulan sabit kelihatan besar. "Di antara tanda2 telah dekatnya hari kiamat ialah menggelembung (membesarnya) bulan sabit." - Riwayat Thabrani
11) Banyak dusta & tidak tepat dalam menyampaikan berita. "Pada akhir zaman akan muncul pembohong2 besar yang datang kepadamu dengan membawa berita2 yang belum pernah kamu dengar & belum pernah didengar oleh bapa2 kamu sebelumnya, kerana itu jauhkanlah dirimu dari mereka agar mereka tidak menyesatkanmu & memfitnahmu" - Sahih Muslim
12) Banyak saksi palsu & menyimpan kesaksian yang benar. "Sesungguhnya sebelum datang nya hari kiamat akan banyak kesaksian palsu & disembunyikan kesaksian yang benar."
- Riwayat Ahmad
13) Negara Arab menjadi padang rumput & sungai. "Tidak akan datang hari kiamat sehingga negeri Arab kembali menjadi padang rumput & sungai2" -Sahih Muslim
syaf_9:07 AM
[0] comments
sessionsessionsession
20041230
I'll show you mine if you show me yours first
Let's compare scars, I'll tell you whose is worse
Let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words
We live on front porches and swing life away,
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave till the end,
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand.
-
Rise Against, Swing Life Away.
i dont know why but i find this song so sweet. maybe becos its acoustic. haha.
session today was okay. yes. almost everyone i make friends with are mentally unsound. let me add another name to the list. DHiL. raving mad. haha. makes life more interesting so im not gonna complain.
syaf_8:41 PM
[0] comments
it was their time.
Tsunami warning halted for tourist industry
This from the Swedish paper Expressen. Translation by RAW STORY excerpted here.
Just minutes after the earthquake in the Indian Ocean on Sunday morning,Thailand's foremost meteorological experts were sitting together in a crisis meeting. But they decided not to warn about the tsunami out of courtesy to the tourist industry, writes the Thailand daily newspaper The Nation.
The experts got the news around 8:00 am on Sunday morning local time. An hour later, the first massive wave struck. But the experts started to discuss the economic impacts when they discussed if a tsunami warning should be issued. The primary argument against such a warning was that there had not been any floods in 300 years. Also, the experts believed the Indonesian island Sumatra would be a cushion for the southern coast of Thailand. The experts also had bad information; they thought the tremor was 8.1. A similar earthquake occurred in the same area in 2002 with no flooding at all.
One expert The Nation spoke with also noted that the department had onlyf oure arthquake experts among their 900-strong meteorological department. A second told The Nation that a tsunami warning was discussed but that becauseof the risk, they opted not to issue a warning. We finally decided not to do anything because the tourist season was in full swing, the source said. The hotels were 100 percent booked. What if we issued a warning, which would have led to an evacuation, and nothing had happened. What would be the outcome? The tourist industry would be immediately hurt. Our department would not be able to endure a lawsuit.
This story was first noted and originally translated at Democratic Underground.
no use blaming these people. God had wanted all those people to die. It was their time to go. Even if they DID issue a warning, for all you know, the number of deaths [now estimated to go over 100,000] would have still remained the same. Maybe less tourists would have died but what difference does that make?
syaf_9:28 AM
[0] comments
i.am.feeling.sial
20041228
nad: aku bukan ckp pasal kau sal. i know you will
never give me that "oroginality" shit. i know you're not the sort to go around slamming people for not being original. talking bout this sha bitch. she was in my links until recently. the damn girl was slamming me. dammit. if i seemed pissed off with you the other time when we chatted, tu pasal aku mmg bingit ngan kau tapi bukan pasal bende haram ni.
sial ah. it sucks to be a girl. ya ya pms.
syaf_8:01 PM
[0] comments
tsunami
the news of the tsunami came as a shock to me cos i only found out the day after it occurred. so many people are now dead. most of them from sri lanka are children. its so heart-wrenching to see the mothers mourn over bodies of their dead children.
year after year tragedy strikes different parts of the world. It was not luck that saved Singapore from this one. its not yet our time.
if a tsunami can hit countries like Sri Lanka for the first time, earthquakes hitting us shouldnt sound strange. it scares me to think that we too can go anytime. God has shown, yet again, that our time on Earth is short.
makes me wonder if heaven would open its gates for me...
syaf_9:16 AM
[0] comments
gig
20041227
just got back from gig an hour ago. it featured bands performing for their very first time and im deeply impressed. maybe some bands were better than the others but all their performances blew me away. except mabbe the girl band with the guy drummer. theirs was a total sellout. and ouh, the band that covered Good Charlotte. they were asking for it.... and mebbe that band that covered Rufio's songs.. They made emo songs into an emo
CORE. me and faz cudnt take it. we kept luffing at the lead vox. it was hilarious becos he distorted the songs completely.
the organiser was one friendly man.. in between bands he joked with the audience with his malay-chi accent and he made fun of the size of his manhood. all crap. loads of it. but hey, this is just business fer the organiser. He owns a jamming studio and thru this gig, he'll get more people to jam at his place. people jam at his studio, and he'll get them into gigs. quite a gud deal except that his jamming studio sucks. haha.
at this gig i also saw sth i wish never to see again. no, its nothing R(A). but it was the most shocking thing. never again. i hope.
ouh yehh... chalet pics people... click.
here.
here's a few of my favourite pics...
pillow fight. yazid vs malwin *yazid!! yazid!! yazid!!*
thank you pei rong, jenn*. thanks to you, we all got to eat...
whats yazid doing with the mahjong troopers?
up to no good.
this one is REALLY up to no good.
morning...
syaf_1:03 AM
[0] comments
wanna wish you a...
20041225
MERRY CHRISTMAS
Hope that those celebrating this festive occassion is having a fun time. XD
6 more days and the year ends. time passes by so fast. things have changed, people too. no use looking back at our past grievances. just start anew and pray that history doesnt repeats itself.
i'll thank God everyday for everything that has happened that might have made me a different person, regardless of whether those things were good or bad. i know that now, i see life from a different perspective.. and i definitely see people from a whole new angle for this year has opened my eyes a bit.
ok. enuff of that philosophical crap.
i woke up at 12 today and i missed most of the gud cartoons at Kids Central. Dang. i am so disappointed. i was so looking forward to spending the morning in front of the tv. nevertheless, i got to eat chicken rice at Banquet and now im delightfully full. and fat.
how many times am i gonna mention that im fat....
PE next year is gonna be so FUN.
syaf_5:30 PM
[0] comments
...
20041224
im annoyed.. just got back from Malaysia. no. thats not the annoying bit.
u know what. just because you dont tell people what you're gonna do and then you do it AFTER they tell you that they're gonna do the same thing doesnt make what you're doing less original. think about it.
ugh. why do i even bother. this is making me sound like some defensive bitch. i'll do what i wanna do and i wont give a fuck whether someone else is doing the same thing cos originality is hard to come by. you can spend your entire life trying to convince people that u're it, u're the original one but in the end u'll still lose.
im not original. there i've said it.
happy?
of cos not.
syaf_11:48 PM
[0] comments
all that i've got
my favourite song at the moment. It's by The Used. i wanna get their new album but again, lack of money stops me. its very shocking. one moment i was rich and the next im poor. its unbelievable. where did my money go? im completely baffled.
Is the rose pretty? i just need to say this... I DREW IT MYSELF. ok. im bragging again. i shud stop that. its unhealthy. its making me fat. i think i already said that. im getting fatter by the second. i can feel my blubber growing in size just sitting here. this is unhealthy.
shut up. you're annoying me.
this skin will prolly take a while before its all done up nicely with my images.. right now, its a bit barren. hopefully i wun change skin fer at least another month. the codes are getting to me.
syaf_10:01 AM
[0] comments
wilted rose
20041223
yea. just came back from an impromptu shopping session wit my parents at Beach Road. I got the bag that i wanted and im so happy. all it needs is a few iron-ons.
funny how people get more and more matearilistic. it seems the end is drawing nearer.
Beach Road actually came after visiting Millenia Institute. The place is olskool. i felt like i was in Primary One again. you know, the wooden doors, the wooden-framed windows, the dust, the non-air-conned hall... i wont be surprised if they wear the vintage shirts for PE. gosh PE. izzit too late to want to go Poly now?
im still working on my drawings.
<----- Lily, there, being the first. dont ask me why its called Lily. i thought its a nice name.
Floating Lily. pretty isnt it. hahah.
eke. toodles. gonna walk around the house with my new bag. hahah...
syaf_3:16 PM
[0] comments
>>>
20041222
i dont know why i said im on hiatus. maybe im tired of having nothing exciting to post. not many people are blogging frequently these days. maybe because its the hols.
well.
school starts in less than 2 weeks. excited? maybe. im dragging it cos i found out i hafta take LIT if i wanna take art. thats IF i can even get into the art classes in the first place considering that they only have TWO. freak. the subject combi really scares me. but three years is a long time. i hope i have a better shot at As than i did for Os.
im on an art project. i dont have a digicam [yet] so i decided i shall draw weird things and post it here making this my art blog. sounds exciting. now all i have to do is get me some muse and stop slacking. slacking is making me fat. and since the class chalet, i have grown darker by 2 shades. im fat and dark. how revolting [comments made are entirely referring to me and no one else. if u're offended, i have no idea whats your problem].
musemusemusemuse. where are you.
syaf_5:18 PM
[0] comments
dying laughter
20041220
went to see lita off at changi airport just now.. karen was, as usual, making lame jokes.. but she neh fails to crack me up. like vk sed,"the wonderful mind of Karen Tse.. I can never understand." hahah.. ya.. beautiful mind she has.. but no one understans why she does the things she does. if i din noe her, id think she's crazy.
which she is.
we were taking pics and we noticed this security officer standing next to a cardboard stewardess and we suspected he was toking to it. hahah.. he was chewing gum [hmmm....] and it from far, it appeared like he was flirting wit the cardboard figure. poor guy. we stood there sniggering at him.
wen lita went to check in, we all stood outside and we kept shouting things together one after another at her like,
"Selamat Jalan!"
"Lita, take care!"
"We'll miss you!"
"Lita, come back!"
hahah.. we thot the last one was funny. we went to the galleria and stood there fer a while and then went off to haf late lunch at BK.. hahah. more of karen tse.
I miss Lita oredi. we werent close but to think that we hafta wait till next dec to see her is sad.
*this blog will have to go fer serious reconstruction*
syaf_8:53 PM
[0] comments
***
20041218
mmm... i posted this skin at blogskins and all i got were comments like
"huh" and
"eeww". hahahah... ok whaaaaaaaaaaaT... i donno ah.. mebbe im the onli one who has an eye fer weird art.
went RP gig today. hmmm.. the bands were orite ah but no moshing no bodysurfing. kind of mendak a bit. hmmm.. the bands at the start played alt rock and pop rock. ok la. the later bands played more rock whoch was gud. i like the second last band's last song. it was called "stupid". the drummer.. fuyooooo.. he played wit
STYLE. and his hands were a blur.
ok ah. nothing much to say. can you comment on the skin? is it explicit? really?
syaf_11:02 PM
[0] comments
yeaaa...
naked people. I din draw the image myself. its The Distillers's Coral fang album art.
why is it that breasts become less explicit when you cover the nipples even when the rest is still exposed? you mean the thrill is looking at the nipple?
HAHAHAH... that sounded funny.
syaf_10:48 AM
[0] comments
delirious
20041217
im sho happi! im going to skul fer the first three months.. you wun know the jubiliation im feeling right now unless you flunked prelims. so this might be a big deal to some but fer people like me, finding out that i wun be bumming at home is pure bliss....
AND THEYRE THE DEFENDING CHAMP OF GPA.. WooooO
i haf been posted to the Bartley campus to some arts course. yay~ im so happy im going to skul again...
syaf_1:49 PM
[0] comments
...
prepare yourself to see naked people on my blog... wahahaha
syaf_10:08 AM
[0] comments
is this the end?
20041215
stupid 12 yr-olds dissing me. what has the world come to? the bitch is not happy that i commented on ONE pathetic skin of hers. which DID suck by the way. it was "punk"-themed and there at the side, you can see,"WISH UPON A STAR". hell-O? im sorry if you cant see what im getting at.
so she goes dissing my skins. which i admit are basically the same skins with different designs. i believe that would be the reason why i place my skins under the "simple" category. i do skins so that people can use them. NOT to show off. the simplicity of my skins show people that all they need is Microsoft Paint, a server to host their pics and some brains.
i hope there'll be pics to post up soon.
syaf_2:10 PM
[0] comments
off
20041213
gonna spend the next three days at class chalet. hope my head will be clear by the time i come back.
syaf_11:01 AM
[0] comments
stupid
20041212
i cudnt keep my mouth shut cud i?
syaf_10:03 PM
[0] comments
Brody Dalle
20041211
She's hot. She can sing. She plays the guitar fer The Distillers. She's about the only other person i admire besides agent M. whose real name nobody knows.
i was so bored so i decided on the spot to go to pasir ris. i asked if annas was free and there we were eating ramlee [mmm. those things are fattening and so delicious] burgers on the rocks. we sat there fer 1 hr++ toking shit and making fun of people. no-brainer stuff. wanted to go the gig at rp today but whats the pt of going if i cant stay out late. waste of money too.
saw so many cute guys. damn. i wish im prettier. nyaaaa.
The Distillers- Drain the Blood
I'm living on shattered faith
The kind that likes to restrict your breath
never been a better time than this
suffocate on eternal bliss
In a city
that swells with so much hate you seem to rise above
and take its place
the heart pumps until it dies
drain the blood, the heart is wise
All my friends are murder
All my bones are marrows in
All these fiends want teenage meat
All my friends are murderers
Away....
I never met a pearl quite like you
who could shimmer and rot at the same time through
there's never been a better time than this
To bite the hand of frost bitten emenence
All my friends are murder
Hey, all my bones are marrows in
All these fiends want teenage meat
All my friends are murderers
Away....away......away....
whoa whoa whoa whoa.....
I'm alive in uterine
a star in the dark a new day has dawned
open up and let it flow
I'll make it yours so here we go...
All my friends are murder
Hey, all my bones are marrows in
All these fiends want teenage meat
All my friends are murderers
Away hes gone away..
syaf_7:49 PM
[0] comments
i'm okay
20041210
*mmm*
usually people blog when they have something to say about their day. i blog becuz im bored and i have nothing to do. i've read all the books i have [which is not many] at least 4 times, listened to the 300++ songs i haf in this comp at least 3 times, seen 20++ videos at least twice and i've eaten like at least 4569 times today. its surprising im still alive.
i dont know why i feel the way i do. its not like there's anything left of it anymore. i DID want it to end. and now, i feel so empty. i want it back but i know i cant. if i do get it back, i know it'd go nowhere- a thought that has been in my head since the very start. so who am i trying to kid? this feeling's not pure. its just. lust.
mebbe its the sense of security he gave me. mebbe it was the way he noticed me. i guess i miss that the most.
IM SO SCREWED.
shutter
20041209
the ending was like
fuck. thats what everybody says and i agree. it was. like. fuck. i've seen scarier movies. it was more of shocking you rather than scaring you. its gud la. and i wudnt mind watching it a second time. it had its funny bits so mebbe if i watch it again, i'd be luffing rather than screaming like a damfak.
its fun to watch scary movies in the cinema cuz everyone wud go,
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! NONONNOO!!"
and then...
"hAAhaHAhHAhaH..."
that made the movie worth it. there was one part which i thot was the climax cuz by then i din care what was happening around me anymore and i was screaming and screaming. hahah. so fun. me and nadia were like,
"Nono. I dont want to see this part,"
and there we were peeking thru [my] shirt and behind [her] bag. hahah. so in the end, we watched every part of the movie despite our vain attempts to cover our heads. hahah. halfway thru the movie, we had our legs up and we were cuddled in our seats going,
"nono. dowan to watch. im scared... NONO... siallah... did you sEe THaT??"
hahah. go watch it. bring a grp of people. its guaranteed entertainment fer the whole family. the 2 kids sitting next to us kept giving us weird looks. FREAKS! they sat thru the whole movie as if its the Barney Show or something. baaH.
syaf_8:10 PM
[0] comments
silence
20041207
took the song down.
i donno what the hell is going through my head these days. i hate myself so much. im thankful fer what i haf but i am feeling this strong dislike about my being. i hate my personality. i hate the way i do things. the way i talk and walk. i hate how so unfeminine and unattractive i am. i hate my cowardice.
ESPECIALLY HATE MY COWARDICE. i hate the way i create problems for myself and get so fucking deluded. i hate
EVERYTHING there is to hate about me.
a change is in order. i did it once din i? i dont see why i cant do it again. i sound troubled but im not. i just think that im just a very hatable person and quite disgusting as a human being. i can even taste my own vomit right now. i dont wish to be someone else. i just wish i haf the will to change. because i
relli. loathe. myself.
SO LET ME GO AND FALL ASLEEP
WHEN I WAKE UP IT WONT BE
NO IT WONT BE ME.
syaf_11:33 PM
[0] comments
on pretence
20041206
went out wit diq, chot, asrap and nabil today. went ard sim lim square. i found some relli cheap digicams but after thinking bout it, i think imma save up fer the more expensive ones. dun see the use of spending money on the cheap ones when u cant even do black and white or sephia. prolly be sharing money wit my sister. she'll pay 70% and i'll pay 30%. heheh...
fifi is absolutely adorable. hahah. went to diq's place and saw his mom and putri [diq's baby sis]. hahah. man. putri was sho cute. she loved fifi so much and kept kissing fifi's nose. and then she went
"mwahh". awwwwwww.... i felt like... k nehmind. very violent thots. cant help it. it was the cutest thing. heee...
eke enuff.
yes. new layout again. and im sorry bout the song in my blog. i relli like it. mebbe this feeling will go away in a few days. but fer now, this is my fave song.
"Halfway Decent"
this one dimension of myself
has hurt the ones i love
and i have come to shut you out
and the God i fear above
and i will make my way through the lines drawn on the floor
it goes away so quickly now
but ive been gone before
and everything i do
and everything i say
they come in conflict
even as i sing this song today
and i know ive let you down
please know it's not your fault
because knowing you has made me halfway decent by default
So let me go and fall asleep
When i wake up it wont be me
So let me go and fall asleep
When i wake up it wont be
No it won't be me
and everything i do
and everything i say they come in conflict
even as i sing this song today
and i know ive let you down
please know it's not your fault
because loving me has made me halfway decent by default
syaf_8:06 PM
[0] comments
lost alone
20041205
whats up with the title sia...? hahah
went to see shah's band jam. man... the drummer was an eye-candy, an absolute feast fer the eyes. i was standing there eye-fucking him. hahah.. crude sia syaf. sorry, cant help it, the dude was relli cute. he's not handsome-cute tho. if u want handsome-cute, that wud be Salim, the lead singer and rhythmist [his eyes were oh-my-gawwshh]. the drummer was... shuddup ah. he played well and so did everyone else. i'll see if shah wud let me post their pics here.
i oso met shah's fren, nuriah. outgoing girl. gila punya olang. itu macam ada baguuss.. its with these kind of people i find easy to talk to. hahah. same clan whaat.
after watching thepeople jam, sat down fer a while at the kopitiam and i chatted wit nuriah. then headed to Bukit Gombak to attend some dinner at the CC. the waiter was a buffalohead. i was speaking perfect english to him and he acted like im sum malay dumbfuck who was speaking Tamil. #$%%*&. sure the gathering was fer Malays in the neighbourhood but that doesnt mean we cant understand the Queen's English. my grandad can even speak hokkien fluently orite? freak.
not gonna talk to my parents fer a while. they're not the easiest people to talk to nowadays. its inevitable. they can never understand me just like i can never understand them. no matter how friendly my mother can be to me, i will NEVER entrust her with my secrets. we just dont haf that bond.
remember Mrs Hooper from King of The Castle? the old tart? how much i loathed her and that disgusting feeling everyone had towards her? i feel the same way towards my mother. she's a hypocrite. my father- i dont even know where to begin.
syaf_11:18 PM
[0] comments
stressed
20041204
tak suke ah bile parents bertengkar. kalau drg tak hepi drg nye pasal la eh. tapi ni org yg hidop sebumbong pon affected. serious ah. stress tau.
if i were to take their situation and place it in a teenage relationship, i wud think the girl is being ridiculas and petty and the guy is just being an insensitive asshole. doofuses. God has always played fair so memang matching sangat lah diorang.
everytime it happens, i always wonder about the outcome. are they gonna stick it out or what?frankly speaking, i cant be bothered. Sure every relationship has its ups and downs. but fer fuck's sake... when u're going down, u're not going down alone. you'll haf your whole family dragged down with you. man... din they think about that say, 20 years ago?
it's days like these i wish im still at skul. Im out of the house before the sun rises and back after the sun sets. petty fights between my parents dont bother me at all and im left alone at peace. if only i can take matters into my own hands...
syaf_2:09 PM
[0] comments
Tsunami Bomb: Take the Reins
20041203
18, you think you're free
To be what you wanna be
Have a job or 2 or 3, you'll say you're sorry
Don't try to run or fight
Ask how or when or why
Who cares what's wrong or right?
It's money that matters
Each day just like the next
We struggle on and on
In nightmares but we're still marching
Handcuffed to life again
Don't try, they'll only push you down
What's opportunity?
You've got what you wanted now
How long till I'm my own?
Independence doesn't start when you leave home
Locked in, can't get out
Your cube is your new home
4 walls, no windows, no doors
Hancuffed to life again
Don't try, they'll only push you down
What's opportunity?
You've got what you wanted now!!
syaf_8:00 PM
[0] comments
simple
eke. simple skin. i can live with this one. thats agent M. Tsunami Bomb's lead vox. I like her style. There used to be Sparx who played the keybrd but she left fer reasons unknown to me. sad cuz she gave t bomb the sound that set them apart. now they're back with a new album: The Definitive Act. They changed bassist and their sound is heavier.
WHEN IS FINCH'S NEW ALBUM GONNA COME OUT? they changed drummer i think. rumour has it that they fought with the old drummer and he got kicked out. hahah. i think thats just bull. that sucks. someone sed they now sound like Incubus. BAH. who needs another Incubus? If they end up sounding like Incubus.... im gonna.... do nothing. definitely wun buy their new album.
HOW COULD YOU TAKE MY GIRL AWAY
WHEN I TOLD YOU EVERYDAY
BUT YOU TOOK HER AWAAAAY FROM MEE.......
bitch. HHUAHUAAUHAUHAUAUHA.
syaf_8:10 AM
[0] comments
monster in disguise
20041202
i haf no idea whats up wit this comp. i might be online today but not tomorrow. this skin relli erks me but im too lazy to do anyfink about it. i'll just let it be until i get a muse... or sth.
wooohooo.. taufik won. yay. hahah. so i din waste my moolahs voting fer the dood. i dun relli care about SI but i simply cannot just sit there and see sly win. that wud be injustice. now taufik has won and im bloody sure he's gonna do us proud in World Idol. errm.. not that i care. not much.
ooh. i peirced my top right ear and it still hurts but who cares. i spent onli $4 fer it. it came with an ear stud too. beaoooootiful. eke. im having a headache and i dowanna spend time here typing crap.
Tsunami Bomb: Take the Reins
18, you think you're free
To be what you wanna be
Have a job or 2 or 3, you'll say you're sorry
Don't try to run or fight
Ask how or when or why
Who cares what's wrong or right?
It's money that matters
Each day just like the next
We struggle on and on
In nightmares but we're still marching
Handcuffed to life again
Don't try, they'll only push you down
What's opportunity?
You've got what you wanted now
How long till I'm my own?
Independence doesn't start when you leave home
Locked in, can't get out
Your cube is your new home
4 walls, no windows, no doors
Hancuffed to life again
Don't try, they'll only push you down
What's opportunity?
You've got what you wanted now!
syaf_6:11 PM
[0] comments
take flight
20041201
been up since 6 to finish this stupid template. drawings inspired by across five aprils and my chemical romance. emocore bands just haf the nicest graphics. thats besides the fact that i haf been listening to nothing but "Im Not Okay" by My chemical Romance fer 3 whole hours. damn that song is sad.
i still hate my template. i'll prolly change it soon.
syaf_9:01 AM
[0] comments
what makes neon green?
20041130
its bin a while since i last blogged. no problems with the billing... or the cables. the comp screwed up.
SURPRISE.
last week had been quite dramatic. my parents quarrelled. i thought of running away again.
selfish bitch. all i cud think of was myself. And there was my mother.... suffering alone. In her womb was a dead foetus and all i cud think about was how my parents sucked when they fought. my mom went to the hospital by herself last thurs and when my dad found out he got pissed cuz he din noe bout the baby till later on.
we got to the hospital and i was crying like noone's business and giving my dad dagger looks. when my dad started talking shit bout my mom being all oversensitive, i scolded him in front of everyone. i was like
,"u dont anyhow say ah. now ummi is in the bus with high-blood pressure and no one knows whether she's ok annot.". that shut him up fer a while.
then blablala. my mom is fine, she's not fighting wit my dad nimore and everything is right again in the world.
im still whoa-ed by the fact that i cud haf a baby brother. or sister. it makes me excited about the day i die. i'll get to meet the bro..or sis i never had the chance to love. whoooahoooaaa..
eke. jalan raye this year was less energetic but still fun. jalan raye part 2 was more gerek than the first day. helped liy cooked. gossiped like mak neneks wit yati and nadia... in liy's kitchen. hahah. and took lots of stupid pix. our favourite pose is looking retarded. there's one of us looking like
chikopeks eyeing nad's niece.
*bile korang nak upload gamba haaaaa?*
we din go to senah's hse which i think was kind of sad since every year we go to her house to create extreme havoc. we din go to any of the teachers' houses come to think of it. i relli wanted to hang out at miss zaleha's room. her room is like a
happy house shop. sooooo pretty. and she has a million toys in that room. and she's such a nice woman to gossip with. miss zaleha always has sth to tell us.
hmmmm... nothing much happened during our trips. just a lot of eating and no one got stuck in any lifts this time. we
DID think about the
Royal Rumble but haiyah... if some apek kering [translation: old bony chinese uncle] is gonna save us instead of them Civil Defence bois, then ferget it maan... even then i relli enjoyed myself. looking forward to do it again next yr. we *CANNOT* drift apart eke..??
lovely. my guitar is lovely. almost all of it is covered with stickers and thanks to shah, i haf a working guit cable and new ernie ball strings which is oh-so-wonderful. all i need is to improve my skills by a million levels. cuz i still suck.
eke enuff. did u make it to the end of this entry? if u did gud fer you! but if u just scrolled down and read this last line... shame on you!
syaf_7:40 PM
[0] comments
dusty dusty...
20041118
a note from the sponsors:
carslberg ingin mengucapkan selamat hari raye kepade semua umat islam. sambotlah hari raye bersame carlsberg. probably the best beer in the world.
hahah...
im sho happpiiiii..... *a-chmm* *alhamdullillah* *waailaikumsalam* Os FINISH OREDIIIII.... so. what to do next. cant imagine life without studying. ouh. i can start on art. and i haf the band thing. still looking for members. huhooo. just remembered. gonna unassemble my guitar and paint the body. woohoo... its gonna be pink. and i'll paste lotsa stickers. gonna stencil the fret. change the strings. waah. kaye seh aku...
eke.. im gonna get my mom to pay the bill and update more. hee.. bye.. selamat.
syaf_10:52 AM
[0] comments
love is a wasting time
20041101
k. i donno what to say. nyaaaaaaaaaaa~ Os are sux. i ABHORRRR Os.
syaf_4:28 PM
[0] comments
cheated
20041027
when i read his entries, i feel so sad and then i wonder whether it was
MY fault that he is like that. i feel sad for him cuz he changed. i know i changed but only subtly and only those close to me would notice. but him... im not there yet i see the change in him. imagine how its affecting the people around him...
its none of my business anymore. so i shall
shut up.
Os start next week. like
FINALLY. FINALLY it can come and
GO. im sick of studying. relli sick of it. BUT im enjoying it. It gives something to do cuz after
Os i donno what i'll do. i'll be so empty, i can imagine. are you excited? im excited. hEeee~!
oh btw... anyone know how to fix an amp? cuz mine died. damnation.
oh and one more thing. GOOD LUCK, GOD BLESS, ALL THE BEST, BREAK A LEG TO ALL OS TAKERS.
syaf_5:24 AM
[0] comments
ape? itu last? dah bes pe...
20041022
[translation: what? that was it? finish oredi wat...]
that thought struck me today. today was so surreal. today was the last day of my secondary school days. today was it. and i din plan for it. the one day i have been waiting for, for 4 years, came and gone. if u ask me. its bloody unfair. we went thru
ALL that shit and this is how we end it? THIS IS IT? where's the fireworks?
no fire but water. GOd. the waterworks.
i shook hands and hugged every teacher i met today, thanking them and receiving lots of well wishes. all very heartwarming. i was calm all the way UNTIL i went to Mrs Tan to thank her for making me a black diamond.
basically, it went something like this...
me: Mrs Tan, thank you *sobs* for *sob sob* making me *sooobbb* a black *breaks down*
i went up to her and everything just gave way. i broke down like i never did before. in a way, it felt good. i let go of all the pent-up emotions. it was somewhat beginning to get to me.
then i went on to find the one junior i can stand [im so sorry. i just dont have the patience with the rest of you. call me kerek. i dun care. i swear to you. you'll never see me in skul again], hafifah. gosh. i thot there was only so much water a person can hold. i hugged her and we both cried for God knows how long. i will sorely miss her. its sad that u onli realise these things at the end. frenships may fade. but this one, i'll try to make an exception.
eke. i can only type out only so much emotikalities in one entry. any more and i'll irk myself. rest assured, im not done yet...
[to the people who tagged: thank you fer tagging. hahah. no seriously, thank you. im not upset or depressed or suicidal. just bummed out but studying hard. hEe~ take care. God Bless us... izzit just me, or do i sound saint nickish..? brr]
syaf_8:38 PM
[0] comments
5 days
20041019
i go online and my computer gives me crap. Islam preeches patience and just for this month imma try to practise it.
on the day i got my results, i plugged out my modem [and obviously just plugged it back in]. i wasnt sad when i did it. i just found it hilarious. try saying this line,"hey! i just plugged out my modem." and you'll get what i mean. whats funnier is when u say mouse/keyboard instead of modem.
unsurprisingly, im the only malay girl who din make it to a JC in the first 3 months. i disappointed my mother, my father, [failed as a role model for] my sister, my grandfather and my teachers. so much so im surprised they're not spitting at my face when i enter their classes. oh yes. lucky me. im a black diamond. its not half as bad as you might think because im getting all the attention and help i need to make it through. so im a quite a happy gem. and besides, im not alone. the other diamonds know that we're there for each other. life isnt that rotten.
just kinda bummed out. cuz im uncertain of what to do fer the first 3 months next yr. i was thinking of jogging every morning. at least i wont go to skul fat. ha.
been spending a lot of time at woodlands lib and there, i'll meet the regulars. jenn*, karen, vanessa k., yuen yin, huey sun...and sometimes i'd see some other 4/2 pple. and today, i saw jin yong. weirdness. weirdness surrounds him. *shakes head*
ok. back to where reality sucks. bye. be bloggin' in a week or two.. God bless.
syaf_5:30 PM
[0] comments
suck fest
20041012
today was basically, yes, like the abovementioned, a suck fest.
i walked to the station this morning crying like nobody's business and every single thing ticked me off. i was feeling so frustrated yet sad. the tears that fell felt relli hot and my face was all maroon. because why? i felt stupid and utterly useless.
im sick of all the talks of reassurance. relli sick to the bone. what will five minutes of inspiration do to help us in the upcoming exams? on top of that, im tired of hearing people lament about their imagined fates. they sigh and sigh bout not going anywhere. bout failing this and that. bout gettin Bs and Cs. its
gawdawful.
STFU already. im not being a hypocrite here either. i wasnt being pessimistic when i say that i wont be going anywhere for the first 3 months and neither was i
resigning to my fate.
i din study as hard as i shudve for prelims and now i hafta face the consequences.
and i find that perfectly fine. i know what i want. all i hafta do is work harder. im not gonna commit suicide or torture myself or cry till blood comes out or annoy the shit out of pple by complaining bout my so-called bleak future. yes. it IS annoying.
the only thing that went right today was mr yong's talk. [yes it was a motivational speech but im biased. if its mr yong, its okay] he made me feel somewhat better.
i say we buckle down and get to work. cheers~
syaf_6:57 PM
[0] comments
you better find more excuses to say
20041011
*i have no idea how the titles to my posts are related to anything i hafta say*
[america's next top model]
I LOVE CATIE'S HAIR. i was so envious of her hair. she's a cute girl but she REALLY nids to
STOP. THE. WATERWORKS. and thank God Heather's out. i cudnt stand her. its like anyone who talks to her will become her
Best Rriend Forever. horrifying. and she's not that pretty as she thinks she is. i love
yoanna. she has this rawk-on personality. i hope she wins. not crying at everything and getting sentimental at the sight of another person talking to you is a plus plus.
whats up with miss-first-model-ever? *she's
STILL ALIVE?* she looked like she appeared from a tomb or something. Gawd. i'd be freaked
shitless if i saw her up close.
ouh. grad ball pics are up.
me
pretty shuz
noonrise
syaf_11:37 PM
[0] comments
I NID PHOTOSHOP
-melts- im listening to one of my favourite songs of all time. coldplay: yellow. brings back the fondest memories. makes me feel warm inside. totally inexplicable. BY THE WAY. I DO NEED PHOTOSHOP.
i cant walk.
i cant stand.
i cant sit.
no this is not a poem.
my lower body is cramped. why? because i climbed 2 storeys and ran- twice. that was enuff. after the climb up [and down] i was perspiring like a pig. now im shuffling around like i just had a brazilian wax. YOU PEOPLE BETTER APPRECIATE Physical Ed. never realised they were telling the truth when they sed exercising regularly is gud fer you. -bawls- this sucks. my butt hurts.
syaf_8:06 PM
[0] comments
accidentally in love. empty seats
20041009
firstly, id like to thank
KEI* fer lending me his digicam. it wudnt be half as fun without it.
i basically snapped a lot of pics. mostly fer the klaz's personal page. people just wow-ed me with what they wore cuz some were totally unexpected. nyahah. i'll blog bout it whan the pics go up somewhen next week. its not fun without proper visualisation.
nytes~
With tosspots still had drunken heads,
For the rain it raineth every day.
A great while ago the world began,
With a hey, ho, the wind and the rain,
But that's all one, our play is done,
And we'll strive to please you everyday.
back to where reality bites. hate to say this. but Os are in 3 weeks.
karen, we missed you......
syaf_10:42 PM
[0] comments
roller-coaster ride
20041007
i donno why im up but im up..
Matchbook Romance: Your Stories My Alibis
Speak to me
Tell me something so typical
A lullaby
Or something so miserable
That will keep me up at night
Cross out my eyes
I know you planned it
You know I love you and I can't stand it
We just lost control
Lie to me
Give me something worth living for
Tell me a reason worth fighting for
Give me anything
Anything to keep me breathing
Lie to me
Give me something worth living for
Tell me a reason worth dying for
Give me anything
Anything to keep me breathing
Lie to me
Tell me stories so beautiful
An epic, or something so terrible
That it makes me weep
Cross out these days
On your calendar
It hurts me so much and
I'm not quite sure I care anymore...
syaf_2:17 AM
[0] comments
matchbook romance
20041006
ooh~ i wud so love to take ALL the credit fer this skin but cannot.. sadly, i have a conscience which kicks in at the wrong times. i ripped this from matchbook romance's site. what?? its sho nice.. i cudnt resist it... i mean, come ON... who can resist emocore..?
hee~
i hope i'll stick with this skin for more than a month..something i havent managed to do with my previous skins.. eke.. gotta blast..!
syaf_5:29 PM
[0] comments
bar-top guy and a hairy girl
20041005
changed template. cuz it looked too uhmmm... shoddy.. is there such a word? *checks
dictionary.com* ouh.. it does.. lovely.
tananananananananananananananananaaa...
argh. i cannot take it. im falling deeper and deeper as the days go by. its buggin me no end.
ape kau rase?
aku rase.... *screams and runs away*
*sori. no muse for nice skin. ahakz. hated the prev one....
syaf_10:13 PM
[0] comments
never haf i seen anything like it
20041004
that smile was truly unforgettable. it left quite an impression in my mind and it almost drove me over the edge. it was so sincere and it really warmed my heart. to think it was directed at me. hee~ i feel so...loved. ahakz. i wouldnt mind staring at that smile the whole day. even if there's only silence between us. the smile meant a lot. and i just cant help smiling when i think about it. and the best thing...im gonna see it again tomorrow...
syaf_6:28 PM
[0] comments
[untitled]
20041003
what morbid satisfaction does it give me to blog about my life? and what satisfaction does it give you to read about it?
O__o
my life is getting uber boring. it revolves around studying and eating. thats what i do all day. eat study and sleep. usually its 65% eating, 34.5% sleeping, and 0.5% studying. thats what i call balance. i dont know bout you.
it was hard telling my mother about the possibilities of me bumming at home for the first 3 months. but i got it out anyways. the disappointment in her eyes cannot be put into words. i knew then, if i dont make it, it will crush her. its too late for prelims. but never too late for Os. i need this. i need to prove to my family that im not a bummer. i will wear that JC skirt.
sometimes, it scares me. people get old [like duh syaf...]. it scares me whn i think about losing someone i love and care so much for. the one person who has given me nothing but unconditional love for the 16 yrs ive been around. is it just me or is that inexplicable sore feeling that leaves me sick to the stomach something that is telling me his time will come soon?
i love my atok bak. i love him to the core. lately, ive been thinking a lot about him. i cannot bear disappointing him. look at the time i wasted...
syaf_8:04 PM
[0] comments
swing people swing!
i'd like to take up swing dancing. ahakz. but i'd prolly nid someone twice the size of syaz to lift me anywhere. XD
hmm. this layout makes my blog look crowded dont you think? waHAH. whatever. i turmoiled for 2 days and one night trying to get everything right. stupid mywebpage.netscape.com was giving me problems. gaaRR.. now, thanks to
VK who suggested fotobucket, i haf weird-looking images on my blog. wEe~!
damn. i forgot to save my last skin. i cudve sent that to blogskins. argh.
ok 43. put on your best suits [in thi case, u haf no other choice except ur uniform] and put on your sweet sweeeet smile. we're gonna haf a fotoshoot tomorrow. so that we shall be remembered for yrs to come. When they see our pics on the special page they've set aside for us in the yr book, they will see
the faces that almost destroyed the skul. cheers~
syaf_4:13 PM
[0] comments
Happi BARFday Yatiiiiiii~!
20041002
YAY! LETS ADD ONE MORE PERSON TO THE ORGY LIST. wEe~!
hehe.. hope ur wishes come true and that long-time dream of becoming a Mongolian princess too. ahakz.. haf fun...!
i nid muse to do another skin
getting tired of this one.
blood splatters are so cliche.
people just pretend to be emo and all angst-like
when they haf everything in the world going on for them.
they dont appreciate what God has given them...
...if they believe in The Creator to begin with.
what can i do to this layout...
argh.
i want to go vintage again. hehe.
becuz it wasnt properly expressed when i did my marilyn skin.
and i nid new color combis.
im seeing green a lot nowadays.
just when i thot i found sth i cud like without being accused of following the trend.
why am i so against that anyways?
hmmm.
okay. i haf no idea what i shud do.
u haf any ideas i can work on?
the worst feeling in the world is being misunderstood by people u care for and love.....
......an even worst feeling is when u realise you're too late to do anything.
coffee
20041001
in about 4 hours or so, i'll be sitting for my last paper. wEe~!
yesterday was uber fun even tho it was drizzling. me and nadia had starbucks coffee at wheelock place. it was blissful. if i died there, i wud haf died happy. the smell was just euphoric. that place just opens up your senses. it made me wanna buy coffee beans and stick them up on my walls just so that i can smell that heavenly coffee scent evryday single day until i die.
The
Grande Caramel Coffee Frappucino® Blended Coffee topped with chocolate and vanilla powder with a shake of cinamon was first class. hehe~
After coffee, we did what we did best. people-watching! wOo~ there was this shabby-looking guy [nad sed he had sth disgusting stuck on his shirt. ew] who approached us and sed,
"Boleh kasi aku $2? Aku nak balik. Aku hilang ez-link card aku" i was thinking,
sial. go and bathe first la.
so we replied,
"takde duit. kite baru beli kopi"
we're cool. u're ugly. have a nice day!
and he walked away. i thot he was speaking tamil to me. it was so obvious he was trying to rip us off. he totally din ask anyone else fer money. Shithead. How bout that guy with the ralph lauren shirt? y din u ask HIM for $2? im sure he had cheques to spare. sheesh.
that wud be the 2nd or 3rd time someone approached us while we were sitting there. what? do we haf a look on our faces which says,
"can we help you, sir/madam?" hmmm...
we realised that there werent many people to watch so we headed to The Heeren. I was hoping to listen to Yellowcard but listened to My Chemical Romance instead. hmm. mebbe its just my tone-deafness or my complete ignorance, but they sound like Thrice, only that Thrice is a notch better. nyaHAH.
We walked around Heeren looking at flowy skirts and squeeling and nearly crying because of the prices. its ridiculas the way some of the items there can cost that much. hello? how hard izzit to sew pieces of rags together [im talking about this skirt we saw at this tramp shop]? and how can a
10mm x 10mm piece of cloth cost so much? injustice. i totally fell in love with this flowy lacey skirt. haaaaaaaaaaaish.
then it was time to go home. waHAH. i think that was the best part of the day. we sat at the train station annoying our fellow passengers. you see, if u haf
simple minds like ours, anything under the sun can be funny. we'll even find the sun funny. we
ahem-ahemmed and we
okashineehhh-ed and watched 6 trains pass us.
lovely. i thot that was a day well-spent. there was sth that i wanted to say but i forgot. so
um, like, whatever. hahah...
syaf_2:56 AM
[0] comments
in the dark
20040929
i just switched off the lights in my room and left the monitor on just to see what it was like to sit in the dark. creepy. hehe.
It's so nice sitting very still.
In a room where no one else can feel
the pain that breaks my heart each day,
I'm not ok.
Sunlight shining through my window,
let's me know that I'm still alive
Why did I ever let you inside my heart?
I'm such a fool.
Paint my face in shades of blood and grey
and take a seat right next to me
But I should've known that you were a killer.
But now I'm dead.
-SENSES Fail, One Eight Seven
if my parents let me [why do i feel so kiddish wen i type that out? "
if my parents let me"?!] , i want to invest in white and red paint. hehe. blood splatters might just work. but im afraid i'll freak myself out. ha. but it cud work. i bet it'll be bleeding fun. hmm. if it doesnt, my soon-to-be old skul shuz will just hafta do. nyaHAH. [i notice i say that a lot in real life].
i went to woodlands lib, saw jen and i sat wit her. i ended up stoned after 1/2 an hour [jen and i tried looking fer some TN guide books but the stupid place din haf any] and so decided to read some no-brainers instead. i went up to the children's section to get myself Dr. Seuss books. cuz i know he has
BIG COLORFUL books. enuff to keep me happy the whole week if i stare long enuff. but sadly, i cudnt find any. stupid. pissed me off. and
THAT SMELL.
its a well-known fact that the children's section is filled with yes, u guessed it. mats and minahs and other lower-sec shitheads of other races. hahah.
did u say children? wth made u think that? their presense liberates a pungent nauseating smell that will knock off anyone who dares step foot in the place. im from woodlands. guess im just immune to their shit. and the noise level. lets just say the children's section incognito is not part of the lib. its a whole new level altogether. and a gud thing too. it keeps them off everybody's nerves. cuz we all know theyre
NOT there to study. and wtf is reading? never heard of it.
that was depressing. i had to settle with Disney's mags instead [it
was colorful]. hahah. i sat there a while longer and left jen to wait fer her SA guy. hehe. jen is prolly still at the lib since she leaves only when its about to close. huhoo~ people gave me weird looks. i swear to you. they were looking trying to guess my sexuality. hahah. cuz i was in a sweatshirt and bermz. mebbe im just paranoid. it was fun. nyaHAH. [there i go again]. before i start spewing nonsense. see u tomorrow on kids central!
syaf_6:59 PM
[0] comments
wake up
20040928
my goal:
-get <15 face="verdana">-NYJC; AEP.Econs.Maths.Andsthelse
-head to NIE.
-be an art teacher.
-work my butts off for 5 yrs.
-start a shop selling my own shirts of my own label
i know what i nid to do. i have this goal set in mind and im gonna do evrybody proud. nyaHAH. shudve realised this say, 5 months ago? well, the point is, i realised it before its too late [ackchellie it is. i can kiss my orientation at NYJC gudbye.].
so yesh. first step to that shop. get off this frickin comp and study for my emaths paper tomorrow.
syaf_2:44 PM
[0] comments
Mat Tapered: Hafiz A'ari
20040925
Mat Tapered, Mat Tapered
Di mana engkau
Aku mencarimu di sana sini
Di mana tapered oh tapered
Dah kene sound skarang buah kecot
Oh mat tapered, oh mat tapered
Di mana kau melari
Lagu ini kenekan kau
tapi kau kecot, kau kecot
tanak lawan
k, pick up the pace now
this song goes to all the tapered people
the tapered people who wear tapered pants
whats tapered pants? u donno?
ask apek.
aiyaa. tapered pants ah
the pants veri nice
suddenly at the bottom ah
very tight
u know wear annot?
the calf area there.. ahh..
that one become tight
wahh. i hate those type of pple
we go out, we go shopping
we go pasar malam to buy jeans
and u ask the apek how much are these?
how much are these?
and how much is that?
oh veli cheap one
3 for $10
u choose anyone
still $10
u go pasar malam
always cheap wat
not original, imitation
okay apek, apek 3.
the size 32
gimme plastic bag thank you
i nid to go to anoder shop man
a tailor shop
to go and alter
my pants to make the bottom smaller
and the rest, as u know, will stay the same
thank you apek
u're welcome!
this is where the rise of the pants begin
oooooo
this is where the bell-bottoms...are out
aaaaaa
the trend of the tapered pants are in
oooooo
how to wear tapered pants?
cut my legs short
or id rather wear a skirt man
tapered pants is like
SLENGER
look like
SHIT
look at my pants man,
look at my pants
look at the bottoms
it looks so cool
no its not man!
u look like shit!
ur legs from far look like chopstick
and all u minahs
dun think u can escape
u wear tapered
u still i hate
dun care u girl
dun care u boi
u still wear tapered
i still
HATE YOU ALL!
u all taik!
u all jubor!
thats how much i hate
u tapered
tapered can go and die!
hahah... siallah.. kekek sal ni lagu.. made me think twice.. hurhur..
syaf_10:28 PM
[0] comments
one more week to go
20040924
relief swept over me when they collected my physics paper. i will treasure this weekend. and that means 9 hours of sleep every night starting tonight. i have seriously dark eyebags. looks like permanent eyeliner. eeyargh.
i wanted to do up a new skin but suddenly felt lazy. if i do come up with one, i will send this one to blogskins. i doodled on my bag instead. i wish i can put up a pic of my bag. hehe. its relli nice. its got bush's severed head saying,"..." k. i donno what its gonna say. havent thot of one yet. mebbe "
World Peace" or mebbe "
I SUCK". i'll think of something.
there are bowl-hairstyled girls in pinafores too. i drew 3. one with a huge middle finger in the shape of a monster with dark eye-cirles [like mine. huhoo] another like spiderman. and the other one is on a scooter holding a gun. waHAH.. there are empty spaces i nid to fill. mebbe i'll write down song lyrics or sth..
art takes my mind off things and it keeps me happi knowing i did it myself. XD
syaf_7:32 PM
[0] comments
ska sucks
20040923
i had a riff wit jihan earlier this week. i can tell you, it sucked. becuz the one person i oways toked to wasnt toking to me. and today, we did sth both of us never did befo. we confronted each other. i was initially afraid, wondering what to say.
somehow, it wasnt ankward. im glad she finally sed what she felt was wrong with me. ahakz. oh boi. i din know how bad i was until she sed it out and i thot about it. most of what she sed was true. bout me changing for the worse. hehe. she sed the one thing that changed about me was my lack of sensitivity. in oder words, i was becoming more of an insensitive bitch. :)))
i was there to listen to her problems, but as a friend, i was no longer there to provide her comfort when she needed it.
apparently, nowadays, i dont listen. i'll just choose to forget. weird how i dun rmbr things...that
usually wud seem impt to me. jihan told me of many innstances when i just brushed off things. brushed
HER off. and fer the life of me, i dun rmbr ever doing that.
in the end, we worked out our differences and now we're fine. today, we went off understanding each other a little better and no one will know how happy i feel except God, that finally, someone understands me. no one. it hurts to think. i get hurt when i think about things, so i let it go. i luff it off. or i'd sing it off. mebbe even cry it off. but im not one to ever rmbr that thing again. cuz like i sed, it hurts.
people change, and they might see me as a bitch. but after what jihan and i sed to each other today, i realise im only willing to change fer those who cares. and right now, its only jihan i care for.
cuz i dunnoe the rest of you. AND u dunnoe me.
SKA SUCKS
SKA REVIVAL ISNT KUL YOU STUPID. FUCKS.
THE BANDS JUST DO IT FOR THE BUCKS
AND IF U DUN BILIF ME, U'RE A SHMUCK
BUT THE TREND WILL DIE OUT WITH ANY LUCK
-less than jake: ska sucks
syaf_6:12 PM
[0] comments
thats something to luff at
20040922
Your soul is bound to the
Burning Rose: The
Rapture.
"I go where my heart beckons me, and I go
with my head high. But sometimes, I get a need
until I bleed so my heart swims above my
head."
The Burning Rose is associated with passion,
intensity, and desire. It is governed by the
god Eros and its sign is The Flame, or Physical
Love.
As a Burning Rose, you can get lost in the moment
if you let yourself. You are a very physical
person, be it in relationships, work, or play.
You may be driven by your hormones sometimes,
but you know it's because you have to follow
your instinct.
What Rose Is Your Soul Bound To?
brought to you by Quizilla.
wahaha. that sounds wrong.
people dont get that i hate thinking. i really do. u think i LIKE having to solve problems? because i know i dun have to. cari pasal semata-mata. i hate it. if u're feeling down and depressed, please dont drag everyone along with you. its annoying. what? does it give you that rush to make another human being suffer alongside you? and to think YOU created that problem. fuck you. get a life. thank you. i sound like a first-class cyka.
i dont mean to sound mean. but sometimes, i really wish you can see it from my point of view. its really not hard to understand. just open your freaking eyes. you brought this upon yourself. the least you cud do is not to make up some stupid excuse and make the other person feel horrible. thats just fucken rude.
alalalaa... syafiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii....
i want to be left alone to smile at strangers, drinking cold frappucino [which reminds me. i owe myself a date] and dance my way to death.
geog tmr. wEe~
syaf_4:54 PM
[0] comments
2 days gone 12,483,930 more to go
20040921
here's some food [im fasting. its onli natural i think about it.] for thought. no one gets to live to see 1,000,000 days. a person who gets to live 80 yrs lives only 29 200 days.
oh look. did u know our skul motto cam from a guy called benjamin disraeli? what? its on our exam time-table....
"the secret of success is constancy in purpose" - Banjamin Disraeli.
okay. now i feel like a retard. O_________________X.
i was profusely thanking God towards the end of our ss paper today. who knew what i'd study wud ackchellie come out? it kept me feeling elated fer the next 2.45 hours or so. i have this gut feeling that i'd ackchelli make it this time. or mebbe im just hungry...
48 minutes till i break fast.
u know sometimes, just when u think u're getting jealous over that someone with the perfect life, something happens and you realise he's no better than you are and you're better off appreciating your life instead of wishing of things that may never come. food for thought.
Mr Amsterdam is making me feel nostalgic. i wish i can turn back time BUT then [oh finally! Richard Marxism is finally in my computer] i think of the things i have to go thru all over again. id rather continue with this screwed-up life of mine. who knows. if u cud ackchellie turn back time, u cudve screwed up a lot more than u oredi have.
i have nothing to say really. i just wanna type down my thoughts. hehe. i know most of you think i babble a lot of nonsense but i think i make sense. either that or im hungry...
39 more minutes...
syaf_6:06 PM
[0] comments
brain-dead
20040920
my left brain is dying. i have completely abandoned it in the course to grasp higher knowledge, now, it has decided to
abandon me. my right brain is going too and its taking my mind with it. i blame Venice.
NOTHING CAN MAKE ME PICK UP THAT PEN AND START WRITING. NOTHING. mebbe 5 cups of coffee or a back rub or a whole bottle of aspirins.
im giving myself 1.5 hrs before my senses start failing me starting with my sense of touch.
ooh. bye-bye
syaf_9:39 PM
[0] comments
she turns 16 today.
20040919
bOo~!
HAPPY BARFDAY NADIA! WE CAN ALL HAF SEX LEGALLY! YAY! MASS ORGY!
No Use For A Name(Hard Rock Bottom)
i'm sorry that it took so long
to write this song
but i gave up
you see one million words can't describe
how it feels
to know your love
where did i go wrong?
i should have told you from the start
that i'm closer then you think
when we're apart
nothing that i've tried
is as simple as this line
my life is incomplete
my days are absolutely gray
and so I'll try
let your heart know for sure
that i have so much more to tell you
every single day
i swear i'm giving up my inside
to the one
that i adore
i know this world is big enough
for you and i
but i'll give you more
i'm coming home today
to wipe the tear drops from your eyes
i'm totally enamored by your life
nothing that i've done
has ever been for one
[chorus]
my life is incomplete
my rites are absolutely gone
so wake me up
before you leave today
something i need to say
cause they'll be nothing when you're gone
syaf_8:19 AM
[0] comments
dodgeball
20040918
i'd give this movie a 3.5 out 5. it managed to keep me luffing from start till the end. the jokes were lame but the whole thing was fucken gewd. so yah. catch it at cinemas near you. and i relli like the OSTs. i was head-bobbin' my way thru. hahah. that reminded me of my jr.
today's malay paper was out to kill. and yes. it killed. most of us died in the end. the kefahaman [comprehension] was uncomprehendable. and it felt like i was doing social studies- in malay. now i know what the malaysian kuzzins go thru. wow. i haf malaysian kuzzins. i miss them.
digression: fuck my stupid sister's "best friend". that girl is so annoying. she calls every five minutes. when u call someone and that person doesnt pick up the fon, wudnt it be instinct to STOP CALLING? everytime this fucktard calls, i'll tell her the same thing. SYAMIN IS FUCKEN NOT HOME. doesnt she GET THAT? what is WRONG with this screwed-up kid? mak die tak ajar die ape2 ke?
argh. yay~ exams are finally here! life wun be so stressful anymore now that i get to go home early. i'll miss PE tho. and my last PE ever in sec skul was one of the best PE lessons. we tried to play a little bir of rugby. huhooo.. and it was fun being the center of it all. nothing can be quite like getting embraced by so many sweaty bodies at the same time. hahahah. yak.
mebbe i'll try rugby in JC. HAHAHAHAHA. shuddup syaf. u only know how to dream.
syaf_7:15 PM
[0] comments
oreos and fishies
20040917
i keep hearing someone screaming my name.
"SYAFIQAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH"
"SYAFIQAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH"
"SYAFIQAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH"
creepy. *looks around*
okay now i hear a woman laughing. oh thats my mother. ha.
i landed myself into unwanted mess again. WAIT. why shud I blame MYSELF? its not fair to me when its clearly not my fault. *indignant* ITS NOT! [wudnt you just LOVE to slap me right now?] i din know i was doing it and i din intend to because of certain reasons i'd rather not mention.
wudnt it be nice to be sitting in a little jetty on a little island with white sands and clear blue waters with a packet of oreos beside you and reading love letters written to you on valentines day? And as the sun hides behind the cloud, you let the wind carress your hair and your skin. You dip ur feet into the water and feel how cool it is. Little blue fish will swim up to you pecking your toes and you try to scare them away by saying "bOo~!" but then luff as they will relentlessly pursue. *peck peck* hahah. so you decide to feed them oreos and what do you know... they prefer cream too.
hehe. that wasnt fictional. i did that when i visited terengganu [except fer the reading love letters bit]. i fed oreos to the fishes and i felt so light-hearted becuz fer a while, i was rid of my problems and worries. i felt good but reality snapped me back in. how very cruel.
syaf_5:05 PM
[0] comments
green is the new pink
20040916
yehh. green is the new pink fer me. no more pink cuz i cant stand it. Its a nice color but too many people like it. its like you can start a whole nation
within this nation with the number of people who likes pink.
prelims start
this saturday.
ape kau rase? hahah.
faris likes to say that.
ape aku feel? aku feel
BODO. cuz my head is still empty. i shud noe half of the SS book by now and all my maths formulas and also chem's content page [thats the furthest i think i'll go with the damn subject]. but my head is just light. damn. wth am i still doing here?
K BYE.
syaf_8:06 PM
[0] comments
kid + adult = teenager
20040914
its ok not to be responsible once in a while. its just that for me, its been a while since i was responsible for anything at all. but u see, im still immatured in more ways than one. im still childish up there. so u cant expect me to do much right?
EXCUSES.
i dont think u can run away from it. things change, people change. and some things are inevitable. they happen and u just have to be matured bout it. reality sucks. wahahaha.
senah was relli WEIRD today. k, she's always weird. but today, she's just eccentric. k, she's always eccentric. but today, ... k nehmind. i sat in front of her in klaz today and....
assnah: awak ade bau tak? bau keleng.
me and jihan: O___x ? AHAHHAHAHA.
assnah: hmmm *screws up face. k, her face is always screwed up. uh nehmind*
kaki dan hidung saye sensitive. bile saya pijak rumah awak, saya boleh
bilang awak pembersih ke tak.
me and jihan: o___X ? AHAHHAHAHA.
assnah: awak diri sini... mcm bau keleng.
siallah.. rabak sal... kekek. ader dier leh ckp gitu.
after-schools are getting more and more tolerable. nyaHAH. its the one thing thats keeping me alive this week. hurhur. i feel so loved.
thank you george. he's our skul librarian btw.
syaf_6:27 PM
[0] comments
sorry
20040913
im relli sorry if i sound harsh. but i think u're being fucking unreasonable.
my mother. i rmbr blogging bout her alot. and now...im gonna blog bout her summore.
i hate it when she gets all moody gets all, forgive me fer saying this,
BITCHY. i dont get her. one minute she'll be luffing and chatting with me and the next, she'd be like giving me dagger looks as if she
loathes me. like she wants me dead. everything i do seems to be deliquency to her. it saddens me and i feel like i have disappointed her
by just being alive.
she got me so pissed, i just cried and screamed at the same time. i felt
like i was going hysterical. *i did it alone in my room so yarh, no one heard me. sadly*
i dont know
WHAT MY MOTHER wants from
ME. cant she stop giving me that look? it makes me feel uncomfortable just being in her presence. and to think that the only other people i also feel this way are my teachers. yes. they give me that look. that look which says,"why is she still in skul? shudnt she be like a dropout or sth?"
but with my mother, it says,
"this pathetic piece of shit is my daughter? is this what i gave birth to? CRAP?"
syaf_8:49 PM
[0] comments
No Use For A Name- Life Size Mirror
20040912
She was done before the start, always mending broken hearts
Making others miserable not knowing who she's hurting
Father said, "This day will be, one for everyone to see"
Is it true you'll follow suit and have you learned a thing?
It's just a selfish way to go, it's safe to say she'll never know
For every person there's a whole life story waiting to be told
When she is happy it's OK, but then these people start to fade
Then we'll just
watch her self-destruct as she gets old
She put up defensive shields, to walk through all of life's minefields
All defined by make-up and a car behind she's hiding
"Father do you have to go, left me questions I dont know"
Any answers or even close the life time lie was true
She's gonna move on with her life, and take it one heart at a time
And watch the little girl inside her wait behind as she goes on
But with this
black heart she decides, who she'll take in and shove aside
Until the day she sees that everyone is gone
Getting used to people leaving,
Thinking true love is deceiving
Soon she'll know how lonely it can be
Now was it really worth the pain?
A couple pills make her feel sane
While she lives out the story written for the part she is to play
With so much shame for her to hide, there's
no more dignity, no pride
Then there will only be
dark in her light of day
And she will only see a reflection, of her father's rejection
Nothing will change until she breaks this life,
this life-size mirror
syaf_6:19 PM
[0] comments
safe sex
20040910
first of all, i wanna thank all those who wished me a happi birthday. very sweet of you to rmbr. espech this old friend of mine. din think he'd rmbr. but he did. heee~ and to think we havent spoken for almost a yr.
i might start not making sense in the middle of this entry. wth laa eh... u can haf fun working those brain cells trying to figure out what im saying eke? bOo~! [it has started]
Garfield. it was a was $2.50 wasted. no, the show costed $7.50 but i think it was worth only $5. it wud have done better as a telemovie. sorry cat. u're just funny on paper. the CG looked budget. nad sed it was supposed to be a commercial. so i din relli expect much. it had its funny bits tho. but then again, i laugh at anything. ahem. great company btw. went wit dick, didi and ash. man, now i know what goes on at both sides when it comes to disterbing people. moving on~
people kept looking at me weird in the train. and i was kinda devastated not seeing some people around [see.. this makes sense. to me. not to you.].... it was either my fats or butt crack was peeking out or it cud've been my pink eyes. damn sore eyes. now its got both my eyes~ bAh!
i think the best part of today was eating out with my parents and i relli appreciate the fact that my dad still had the energy to drive us to the eating place despite having worked his butt off the whole day [he relli has no butt. i cant fit into his jeans. O_x]. first it was delivering letters at sembawang, then it was driving cars at PSA [ooh yehh. he gets to drive all fancy shmancy cars that come into singapore like ferraris and space wagons. he has to shift them from one place to the other. huhooo~] and then back to delivering the letters.
if i had one wish, that wud be to do well fer exams so i can do those who love me proud.
damn sore eyes. i hope it worsens. wahahahaha.
the vandals- happi birthday to me
chorus
24 hours u're wishing me well
365 days im in hell
oh well
happi birthday to me
happi birthday to me.
syaf_7:03 PM
[0] comments
HAPPI BIRTHDAY TO ME~!
hee. anoder yr has passed and today i will be 16!! 16. wow.. so many things i can do now... excited nyerr akuuu~
i can finally drive!! oh. no i cant.
i can finally drink!! oh. no i cant.
i can watch that movie coming out!! oh. no i cant. its m18.
i have finally reached financial stability. oh. no i havent.
i can finally haf sex legally!! oh. YES I CAN.
nyaHAH. eke. i hope i mellow a bit. leedaduh~
syaf_3:14 AM
[0] comments
black and grey
20040909
my blog can look better than this but i think im sticking to this template until the 'o's are over.
wth. its cute and neat. i like it cuz it represents sth i can never be- neat [not cute. i can be cute. lmfao. im lying]. nadia made a nice new layout. go
sEe~.
i love babies. they are the most adorable things on earth. quraisyah [quraisya? quraishah? quraisha? i donno.] is just so edible. i felt like eating her when i saw her today. *ngapp* she has cute cheeks like her mother does. XD
here are some facts i BET u din noe:-
-waving at the stranger who lives at the opposite block of yours can be very funny. esp when they wave back as u're waving....... but you're not looking at them.
-dry plain biscuits taste very nice with horlicks.
-my sister is stupid. loll. i am shoooo mean. but i have a gud reason. she din buy me any junk food. but she got herself some while i was fasting. bAh!
ok then. im off to throttle my sister.
oh. tmr's my barfday. wEe!
It's my birthday and I'll do what I want to
Fuck you it's my birthday.
A special holiday only for me, so do what I say.
It's my party, I'll make you cry if I want to...or leave.
Fuck you, it's not your birthday, so do what I say.
][chorus][
For 24 hours you're wishing me well, 364 days
I'm in hell,
Oh well.
Happy Birthday to me,
Happy birthday to me.
Alone on my Birthday.
I'm going to Denny's 10 times today,
No Tip!It's my birthday, so do what I say.
Thanks mom didn't have an abortion;
or my birthday wouldn't be today,
but I guess it's just my good fortune, my birthday's today ok.
][chorus][
Spank Me!
Oh well,
Happy Birthday to me.
Happy Birthday to me.
I can't believe you forgot my birthday.
It's my birthday and you're wrecking it.
Now it's just like every other day you, didn't do what I say.
How could you forget my birthday?
That's really immature.
Fuck you for forgettin my birthday,
you didn't you what I say today.
24 hours, no wishing well, now 365 days
I'm in Hell,
Oh well.
Happy Birthday to me.
Happy Birthday to me.
Happy Birthday to me.
syaf_7:21 PM
[0] comments
untitled
20040908
people change. ladies and gentlemen, THAT is the brutal truth.
i am a bitch. i know. you dont have to tell me. dont give me shit like "Babe In Total Control of Herself" bloodyblablablah. thats bullSHIT. i've come to a realisation quite some time ago that i have changed. and its not just me who thinks that way, i can name a couple of pple who'd agree with that statement.
im nowadays more and more insensitive and more ruthless in getting what i want. i wont care bout anybody else's feelings and the only interests that i care about are mine. if i dont like sth. i'll come out straight and say it. at least, thats how i SAW it. then it hit me like a bullet to the head. thats NOT what i've been doing. hypocrisy has become my best friend.
i have actually hurt those i care about most and to me, i thought i was just being honest. TACTLESS more like it. i donno la. i donno why i changed, i just dont like what i am right now. everytime i tell myself not to be that way, the more pain i inflict.
and im so fucking deluded cuz i keep thinking that im just being honest. man. how the hell i can think liddat is completely beyond me. i want to go back being nice. now im just plain bitchy. i dont care if im like boring when im nice or whatever. all i know is that being nice doesn hurt. i dont hurt and i wont get hurt.
looking at this entry, i hope u can tell that im very bothered. do me a favour pls. if i hurt you, or have hurt you in any way... pls tell me. dont laugh it off. i hate myself right now and im trying my best to change.
syaf_11:43 PM
[0] comments
show me how to skank
20040907
im chatting wit my tutor. how weird is dis? hahah. HoW WeiRD is DIS? loll. funny. aaah..
i am delirious. either that or xtreeeemely HiiiiIIIiiiIIiIiIiIiIIIiGH. i think i had too much coffee la. or too much studying. im not relli studying. im just sitting down here with the glare of the night light in my eyes. lalalala~
i think the bass is very sexy. the lead is cute and the drums are just damn hott. nyaHAH. u know what i feel like doing? i feel like dancing. but i oredi did that. and now im tired. but this song makes me wanna dance~ ooooh. the sounds of bass.
ok. i think i crapped enuff oredi. now i feel like crying. i think im gonna haf my period soon. oh. bad news. kk.. enuff. imma continue wit emaths...
i think of a while ago
we night have had it all
i was so stupid then
u needed time to grow
but now just ask means change
as well my feelings do
in times things rearrange
i am so sick of chasing you
but what do i get
cuz i just seem to lose
you make me regret
those times i spent wit you
and playing those games
as i wait for your call
now i give up
so GDBYE and SO LONG
syaf_11:35 PM
[0] comments
the truth hurts. READ IT.
i would love to hold and be held in your arms but i realise its lust im feeling and infatuation u're seeing. how can you love someone when you dont know the person at all? [just because you know the name and how the person looks like doesnt mean you know him or her]
you said a lot of things that sounds reassuring and very tempting to me. like u'd give me security, u'd respect me, u'd take gud care of me and listen to my every need. but dude. like neil humphreys wud say,"the hypocrisy is astounding." u'll listen to me? LISTEN? hello? havent u heard a single word i've screamed into your ears? i told you so many times that i see you as nothing more as a friend. i respect you like i wud respect an older brother. NOTHING. MORE.
your words are bordering on bullshit. i haf to be frank with you. becuz apparently im just beating ard the bush. why dun i beat you up? mebbe you'll see it my way.
you cannot force love. and thats what you're doing. IF its even love to begin with. i shall mention no names. you know who you are. if im any more of a bitch than i already am, i wud have front-stabbed you and thus publicly humiliate you. but i see this friendship worth saving. if u understand, talk to me. if u dont, DONT YOU DARE SAY "WHATEVER" AT ME. I'LL BITE YOUR HEAD OFF. if u cant get what im saying, just leave me alone. im trying to pick up from where i left off.
always,
syaf.
syaf_3:18 PM
[0] comments
cesspit: kau play ska
20040906
Please put a rose in front of your name to show your sympathy for the hundreds of dead children in russia who have died in a terrorist act, i hope you find it in ur heart 2 do this. Paste this to all of your online contacts..
at least we know they're headed to heaven
thats all i have been listening to for the whole day. im addicted. not that im complaining. oooh~ the sound of the horns just makes me shake inside. and to think cute guys are behind them. XD girls can dream from time to time. just that when it comes to cesspit, i dream all the time. hehe. what can i say, their songs are just so euphoric except fer "Sad Asia" where they got a girl to be their guest vox. -grumbles-
ahem.
ooh. i can so feel the wind against my neck. yep. i cut my hair again. its relli short now but its exactly what i wanted. short, neat and thin. no fuss. its so short, its impossible fer it to get messed up in the mornings. the winds may blow and lightnings may strike. but this hairdo will stay as it is. no annoying puffy bob at the back [which seems to be the look everyone goes for these days].
my "sideburns" are gone tho. my precious siiiidebuuuurrnnns.. it took me almost a whole year to grow them to that length. and now. they're
g o n e . *!!!!!* now what in the hell am i gonna twirl in my fingers? cant be my fringe. its always been short. oh. i feel
so naked.
i hope i can go out tomorrow. my parents are squabbling again. it irks me. hmmm. sth tells me i shud prolly go and visit my grans. its bin sumtime since i saw them. i miss them. my grans calls us every other day to check on how we're doing. makes me feel guilty when i think abt how me and my sis pretends that we ackchellie like these chats. -slaps self- i got kinda pissed wit my mom the other time fer not letting me go and visit my grans. i had no i dea why. and i have no idea why i din disobey her like i usually do.
they say u shud respect ur parents and listen to them, espech mothers. but i nid a valid reason fer everything and not letting me visit MY grans without A reason pissed me off. and i wun take a "tsk" and a glare for an answer either. it'll just make me "tsk" and glare back.
so yaaa. a visit to my grans is in order. wheeeee~ i hope i rmbr what floor they live in.
syaf_11:30 PM
[0] comments
first skin submitted
20040905
submitted a skin. din realise i've bin sitting in front of my comp fer 2 hrs straight. argh. my eyes are so shagged. uh. eew. i nid to stay up longer to change MY skin but im sooo shagged. makes you wonder how much sleep a person needs..
oh. im fasting tmr. eke gotta sleep then. nyte2 my lup. eke. dun ask me. i donno where that came from. x___x
syaf_11:27 PM
[0] comments
lets forget abt friendship and lets destroy the enemy
its taking forever to republish. the only reason why i chose this template is because of the blinkies. i modified it *a bit*. original skin looks like
this.
sth bout this skin that irks me so i'll prolly change it tomorrow. or tonight. if im bored. which i am. and i'll send it to blogskins. eke. then i can put it under the "rip-off" category or sth. i hope they dont send me viruses.
there are sadder songs than "the saddest song" sung by the ataris. i think i cried over one or two songs. im such a loser. wait, i dun wallow in self-pity AND proclaim it in a public blog. -headbangs- the old blink's romeo and rebecca rawks. sounds raw and original. very high skul. tom still had his high-pitched voice. hmm.. its still high-pitched.
wud there be sth wrong with you if u keep listening to a song 10 times over?
i dun think so. im listening to it 20 times over.
syaf_8:30 PM
[0] comments
Ahmad
20040904
no, i dont haf a friend called Ahmad. well, i did. back in pri 3. weird guy he was. he got stung by a bee once. if i were to write a song, i'd call it Ahmad. Force Vomit has Siti and Cesspit has Raihana. So yah. i want Ahmad.
i went to town jez now and yesh yesh. i gots Jihan a nice bday present. oh. you thought her birthday was in June? NO. Her birthday is not in september. i bot a nice red and white trucker cap. heee~ and i spray painted a nice fire extinguisher. but i spoilt it. i thot i'd be nice to haf "060988" beside the fire extinguisher. but now its "6060" i dont wanna talk about it.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. it. is. bothering. me. if i had more moolahs. i wud have taken a taxi and head straight back to Lips Enterpise to get another trucker cap. so. now. this sodding perfectionist has to live wit the mistake. *grits teeth*
i hope jihan doesnt mind. i'll tell her its like hmm..
the mistake represents me? the klutz....? okaaay.
and imma get her another pressie next week. but i cant tell nione abt this pressie. its personal. NO, IM NOT GETTING HER TAMPONS.
fishtank is local *!!* wow. i cant believe that. like that guy once sed.. "yah. they sound like bushmen. but they're our very own." mebbe i'll upload their song next week and post it here. eke. off to finish my maths now.
did u know there was a book fair in our skul just now? hahah.
syaf_4:23 PM
[0] comments
wooo~
cesspit- Raihana. cesspit is a local ska band.
woooo! so happi. finally get to upload music wifout iwebmusic.com!! no irritating pop-ups. eke. hmmm. i just finished tution... gonna go skul take all my books and then head to the library.. to study.. llermek.. boring. eke. then go town buy jihan's pressie. wheee~. shyt. i sound so happi. any happier i'd be like that dinah. or sth.
uh. eke. yah.
huhooo.. imma get mooolahs [hahah. i like this werd...] and get myself art materials. nyaHAH. and hopefully wun lose them like all my 17,739,204 other brushes.
eke. cheers~
syaf_10:04 AM
[0] comments
"ehhh... cheeeks! cheeeks!!" *runs*
20040902
A New Found Glory: Sincerely Me
dear (your name here),
its been a long time very long time since i've heard your voice
and i bet she never thot i was
so sorry so
i've had a hard time very hard time
seeing less of you
i never thot you knew
so cant you see
you're seeing less of me darling
and you're blind to the fact
that my heart stopped beating
and im as good as dead
and im as good as dead
dear i forgot your name again
just picking up where i left off
ouh yehh
this is the part where you leave me
so sorry so
i've had a hard time very hard time
seeing less of you
i never thot you knew
so cant you see
you're seeing less of me darling
and you're blind to the fact
that my heart stopped beating
and im as good as dead
and im as good as dead
this...this is all..i HAVE to SAY.
GO!!
so cant you see
you're seeing less of me darling
and you're blind to the fact
that my heart stopped beating
so cant you see
you're seeing less of me
darlingand you're blind to the fac
tthat my heart stopped beating
stopped beating
stopped beating
hmm.
*walks away*
syaf_9:40 PM
[0] comments
recycled.
20040901
I HATE YOU ALL. DAMN YOU ALL. HATE IS NOT THE WORD. I MEANT ABHORRRRR.
I.
LOATHE.
YOUR.
FUCKING.
PRESENCE.
WHY DUN U JUST DIG A HOLE AND PUT YOURSELF IN IT. DO THE WHOLE WORLD THAT LITTLE FAVOUR. U LITTLE TWATS.
im sori. needed to let that all out. and um. its directed to pple whom i know but dont know me. i din say it to their faces becuz im biased. just frigging biased. whoever sed that being a teenager is awesome is obviously one. acne, imbalanced hormones, screwed-up emotions, uncertainty. i take back ALL those things i've sed about not wanting to grow up.
ouh yes. HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY. we love you. we'll do u proud, one way or another.
syaf_2:37 PM
[0] comments
~Teachers' Day~
20040831
everybody, pls meet fat_cap_monsta
yay! we rocked on stage. nothing relli went wrong. even if sth did, i din notice it. heee. i was sho happi to see nizam. i miss having him ard. and then there was fahmy [hahah. i shook his hand fer like donno how long. his hands were sho soft. tak leh tahan sehh..] and hazwan.. much better-looking nowadays... i think. heheh. hmmms. saw several other seniors. most still looking the same.
lol.
i just remembered what fahmy sed.
me: ahh.. u come here visit asnah kan?
fahmy: tak ah. dtg balik nak ketok2 kepale die.
*15 minutes later*
me: sooooo.. which teacher did u tok to?
fahmy: mdm waheeda ngan asnah.
me: asnah? hahah. ketok2 kepale dier eh?
fahmy: ah2. dier cakap sakit.
hahahakz. i miss him.
today was also
Be Yourself Day. or as
Jihan wud say,
Be You Day. i came wit black polo-tee, skirt. fishnets, suspenders and uh.. my converse shuz.
nadia came wit black top and she did up her hair. it was standing. heheh. looked
uber kuliioo. hmm.
ain came wit the whole
rudegirl look. hee. sho cute arhh..
but i think
van k and
karen tse totally rawked ass maaaaN. they came looking like they popped out of bob the builder. u know what the ghostbusters wear to bust ghosts? yah. they had that. except fer ghost traps, they had toolboxes. serious. *salutes* rawk ass man those two.
the teachers band cud haf done better i think even tho
yu bebehh rawked... eke. im too lazy to type. bye.
syaf_5:40 PM
[0] comments
The sky it burns bright with your presence tonight.
20040829
a song fer the teachers.
Rufio: Above Me
If i was to walk till time saw no end.
If i was to climb till the air was too thin.
I could not find a picture fit the frame.
As perfect as you.As perfect as you.
You showed me life and lived nothing less.
Cuz yer so above me.
Ill take my time you memory is bliss.
The angel above me.
When i look at the stars they shine of your eyes.
The sky it burns bright with your presence tonight.
Yet your so above me and i cannot fly.
To the angel above me i long to be with.
To look at the mountains vast and great.
Is one step above in seeing your face.
To look at the stars for they lead the way.
To the angel above.
woosh. im sleepy.
ALL THE BEST fer chem pract tmr. dun break anything.
syaf_10:21 PM
[0] comments
good morning~
20040828
its bin a long time since i sed that to anybody. hahah~ eke. just came be from the ballet at esplanade. well, not relli. i onli stayed fer the first part of the show and then i went off to a gig at the waterfront wit nadia and nani. heeee~ satellite played. they were uh.... lets see. good la i guess. but im not so into alt rock. but hey. a gig's a gig.
the lead vox was cute but it was fuckin hilarious when his face went all cramp when he sang. hahahahakz. we had a fun time luffing at him. but he was gud. just that u had to close your eyes when he sang. hahakz. he sounded like suede's lead vox. and just like satellite's lead vox, we have to close our eyes when he sings. herher~
the lead was incredile- absolutely awesome. but one shy guy lah. din wanna face the audience. cudnt relli see his fingers move which was sad cuz he played dang well. the drummer looked like a good-looking versh of shaheed [read: shaheed is in 46. a complete nerd wit a wooden smile plastered on his face and.. not cute at all. smart. but not cute.] the rhythmist looked WeeiiIRD wit his bucket hat. hahah. totalleh weird.
the bassist, i hafta admit, was the cutest of them all. not so much bout the looks [nad sed he looked like an ostrich], but the way he grinned all the time. he smiled alot when he played. and his smile is like one of those that'll melt your hearts. hahahakz. and he played well too.
afta the gig, we chilled fer a while, made fun of the 5-0 walking ard. lol. there was this 5-0 dude who was standing near a tree and nani was like,"abg, jage pokok bang?" [translation: u guarding the tree izzit?] lol. hmm... then we walk walk. we saw some skinheads *!!!* herher. sori, excited fer a mo. then we saw this huge group of pple LINE-DANCING. all your middle-aged aunties of different shapes and sizes were there. we were thinking bout it and we thot that it was possible wai lan cud be amongst those pple. or miss thoo.
then we walked thru boat quay. wahahakz. funni sia. we saw so many expats. and we almost died cuz of the smell of armpits. [i mean, we were like midgets compared to those whites. and their armpits were in our faces]. and then we passed this minah and she was like going "ladies night. free flow of champagne" and i was like wtf. i immediately sed,"nono. Islam, Islam." haiyouh. muslims arent supposed to take in alcoholic drinks whatmore sell them. sorry. thats my stand and im sticking to it. i dun care if i appear harsh.
yupp yupp. we walked past 11 and took the train home. and now im here. blogging when im not supposed to. herher~ kk. bye..
lemme try sth..
,,l,, O_0 ,,l,,
kaninabucheebaai. hahahahahah. sorry.
syaf_12:06 AM
[0] comments
all about maturing.
20040826
eke. im not matured and def not maturing. just thinking bout it. like when am i gonna grow out of this childish selfish me and start mellowing? do i want to? a part of me wud love to but my inner child is screaming "bloodyfuckinghellno..!" hahah~ oh well.. i can annoy myself to death then.
im supposedly banned from the comp thanks to my wunderfool grades but i did my studying oredi. u can say im bending the rules 359degrees. nyahah. rest assured, i'll die of boredom.
4.3 can sing and we can dance. just makes me so fucking proud. lets make mdm has cry on teachers' day. lets make our perf move her to tears. tears of joy.
i miss my guitar. its bin sum time since i played. hah. to think its just sitting there. nehmind. i'll play it later. afta im done studying a bit more. seriously, if i were to continue like this. i'll no longer be spastik. i'll be boring. *!!!*
All my life
I've prayed fer sumone like you
i thank God that i, that i finally found you
All my life
I've prayed fer sumone like you
and i hope that you feel the same way too
yes i pray that you do love me too.
-4.3 singing "All My Life" to mdm hasnizah. *smiles*
oh. mr chye is in hospital. no one noes what happened but the klaz was bloody shocked and now we're bloody worried. its sad he has to miss teachers' day. hope his op will go well. *we'll be praying fer you*
syaf_7:30 PM
[0] comments
im more of a rythmist. jugga-jugga-jugga jah JAAAH
20040820
i am afraid of my future. i might end up in a school filled wit nerds/geeks/freaks/homos [hahah. but im kul wit them]/ smartasses. im afraid that i will end up sumwhere where i cannot relate to the people in it. it doesnt relli matter where i go, be it JC or poly, as long as i can take ART and malay. im just more worried about the type of people i meet.
i have an extremely strong feeling that i will be very alone and miserable fer the next 2 years of my life while everyone i know now will haf a helluva fun time in their respective schools. i think i might end up going to a school where i know no one. i just have this horrible horrible feeling that i will end up an outcast and not liked by anybody. heh. that wud be my punishment now wont it. guess i have to learn to live life in solidarity. it just doesnt help thinking that i will never find another person who thinks the same way i do.. :(
urgh. need to stop thinking bout that. its uber depressing~
if u're into local music, i suggest u listen to Fuzzbox. but then again, onli I can like the type of music i listen to. u can check them out at the following page...
http://www.audioreload.com/index.php?module=ContentExpress&func=display&ceid=23&bid=22&btitle=Info&meid=9
dead white [butterfiles] rules and so does mocha. :)))
syaf_5:49 PM
[0] comments
guys shudnt wear briefs so their pantylines wun show.
20040819
spoonerism.
he opened his mouth and out came the most beautiful sound any human being has ever heard, awing those around him and sending shudders down their backs.
hurhur~ right.
Jian Xuan- the rare tenor. Alan annoyed the crap out of him today. He just wun stop hitting JX's chair. It became evident when JX shouted
"CAN YOU STOP HITTING MY CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIRRR..!"
yes. he held it fer more than ten seconds sending shockwaves across the classroom and definitely sending chills down our spines. funny shit. then there was
karen wit her puns. mr potato-head neo caught Xinlun not wearing socks to school [i think he did. it was just super-low] and karen sed,
"low socks doesnt mean no socks" lol. sounds familiar? hahah. that was a bloody gud one.
today was fun and
mrs goh [forgive me. it'll onli happen once] almost seemed human. she was ackchelli luffing with us in klaz [it made staying back fer her lesson just now so much more bearable]. now, why cant she just shake off that witch image and be the nice person that she probably, possibly could be?
when i look at all those tiny mats and minahs. i shake my head in utter disappointment. what is to become of our malay community? the younger generation is so plagued with these dispeakable shitheads that i am almost ashamed to be of the same race as them. they strut around all over the place wit neon signs hanging over them flashing
"KICK MY SORRY MAT/MINAH ASS". the puny minahs relli tick me off.
espech this slenger-looking [she wears huge specs fer fuck's sake] girl from some crapass primary school [cikgu melayu pon setan agaknyer] trying to act minah. i take the train wit her. its vomit-inducing. she has the hair [u know? the one long strand of hair hanging over the face? supposedly sex-appealing? yah. she got it]. then there's the sling bag. all high up there that u'd mistake it fer backpack that lost a strap. and the way she stands. makes you wonder if she has a log up her ass. and to think that she's onli 11? 12? 7? i wudnt wanna meet her when she's 16.
u know what they say. cannot judge a book by its cover. but i think fer this minah. left the cover only. nothing inside. sampah masyarakat waiting to be
burned in the incinerator.
syaf_6:07 PM
[0] comments
this is an update of my uber boring life.
20040818
i want to thank
xiuping and jing pey fer trying to cheer me up just now.
so shweeeet. i guess i was feeling kinda pissed fer having lit fer first period fer i absolutely abHORRRR the teacher. heee~ xp and jp passed me a piece of tissue paper which sed
"Cheer Up." hahah. i was very amused. its the thought that counts. and im keeping that piece of tissue paper till it
yellows.
and den [and den and den and den and den....anddenanddenanddenanddenandden. sorry cudnt resist it] i wud also like to thank
nadia fer the song sang by weezer. *oooh-wheeee-oooh i look just like buddy holly* ahaha. i like it alot. has a tinge of the 60s. lovely.
nothing much to say here. oh. mebbe... did anyone notice how weird
zu's been acting lately?
[angh~]
syaf_6:32 PM
[0] comments
i cant stop thinking
20040817
my nyunyum smells weird. it needs another wash. *grumbles*
needless to say, i fucked up my english oral today. but i cudnt be any happier. that was my last oral. like EVER. yessar~
she sighed as a great flood of relief swept over her. i am damn sleepy. i think i shall sleep. i think i think.
nadia. nad. nut. kacang. kucing. nyahaha. just writing down what im thinking.
im thinking of a sexy woman template. im cutting it out. i have a can of black spray paint. i stare at the wall in front of me. it spreads out like white canvas. i hear it calling my name. then what do i do?
a year has almost passed. ONE YEAR. so many things have taken place. i can still remember the first day of my sec 4 life. i din want to believe it. guess what? i still dont. another 2 months and this shit will end. am i wow-ed? and in two months 4 days, it will mark two years. THAT, im wow-ed at. TWO YEARS! and i still suck at playing my guitar. hahah. what were you thinking?
ANNOYING sister. woosh. dejavoo. i think i shall sleep. i think i think.
syaf_7:52 PM
[0] comments
emo? hahah. cannot la.
20040816
This morning as i tied my shoelaces, i noticed how fat and ugly my legs are. My mother noticed them too and told me to put lotion on them to which i rolled my eyes. I kissed my mother and walked with heavy footsteps towards the lift lobby. While waiting for the lift, I checked on my reflection and sighed as i stared at my huge behind.
I got into the lift and sang "Anthem of Our dying Day" loudly. It is part of my daily routine to belt my heart out in the lift every morning. There are people who are bathroom singers but i am a lift singer. I continued singing, but 100 decibels softer, all the way to the station.
As i got onto the platform, i looked around for this cute guy whom i take the train with everyday before i realised that the train i would be taking was two trains earlier than the usual one i took. i considered waiting but got on the train anyway- cute-guy-less. i plugged in the earphones and with a stoic expression listened to the sounds of Finch with lead vocals, Nate Barcalow, screaming into my ears. I reached Yishun and i had to stop staring at my reflection on the train doors as human beings of all age and races flooded the train. I moved in like the lady announcer told me to and continued staring outside.
The train passed Lower Seletar Resevoir and i basked in its tranquilty for five whole seconds. In my heart, i was wishing i that i did not have to go to school which would mean wasting the beautiful morning away. I was about to look away when i saw a man who looked about twenty looking at me through the reflection on the train doors. I felt my cheeks flush as my ears grew hot. He had deepset eyes but had the body of a body-duilder. Silently i cursed.
Why couldnt he be a seventeen year-old JC guy instead? I stopped blushing and remembered my friend's immortal words.
Some guys have the most beautiful eyes but look like total shit. Or something like that.
The train pulled to a halt at Ang Mo Kio and i reluctantly pushed my way past the other passengers and grumbled rather audibly at the audacity of those who blocked the entrance. I casted a deep frown and glared at the fat asshole who stood in my way. I tsked loudly and grumbled some Malay swear words. I finally manage to make my exit and walked briskly towards the stairs- not before glancing at the red Fire Extinguisher sticker. I thought of peeling it off and mailing it as a souvenir to my friend who lives in Switzerland but i dismissed the idea as it was too early in the morning to be breaking the law.
With Finch still blasting in my ears, i made my way to school- having to walk the same route for the past three years and seven months. Along the way, i kept tugging at my pinafore, the source of all frustration in the mornings for the past three years and seven months, trying to avoid it getting all crumpled up at the back. I smiled at adorable black cat which tottered away on its fat legs [quite reminding me of my own] across the road.
I arrived at school while the sky was still pitch black and shouted profanities across the carpark at the discipline master who was making his way to the staff room. Well, i wished i did. I stepped into the dinky classroom and plonked myself onto the grey chair as i mentally prepare myself for another unbearable day at school.
syaf_5:51 PM
[0] comments
its over.
20040815
Story of The Year: Anthem of our Dying Day
The stars will cry
The blackest tears tonight
And this is the moment that I live for
I can smell the ocean air
And here I am
Pouring my heart onto these rooftops
Just a ghost to the world
That's exactly
Exactly what I need
[chorus]
From up here the city lights burn
Like a thousand miles of fire
And I'm here to sing this anthem
Of our dying day
For a second I wish the tide
Would swallow every inch of this city
As you gasp for air tonight
I'd scream this song right in your face
If you were here
I swear I wont miss a beat
Cause I never
Never have before
[chorus]
Of our dying day
Of our dying day
Of our dying!!!
For a second I wish the tide
Would swallow every inch of this city
And you gasp for air tonight.
[chorus x3]
i'll be fine. hahah. right.
syaf_10:52 AM
[0] comments
alright. we rocked.
20040814
huhoo. the teachers day audit today went well even tho we fucked up here and there and everywhere. hahah. lets just say we were different in the sense that we din try to act all cool. u think just becuz u go up there holding electric guits makes all the girls go cair ah? [translation: cair is melt in malay] *pointed look at imam and si peng*
*4.1*
imam spoilt the song with his horrible chords. but aizat did a good job. but then again, it doesnt take much to play the same 4 notes over and over again. the drumming was perfect [im biased. darryl cute whaaaat] and the singing was not bad. but i think edwin shud stop showing his lack of chest hair. there is more hair on ur four eyebrows than on ur chest. i could tell they were sincere. the song they chose was nice too. but imam fucked it up. scrap him.
*4.4*
hmmm. si peng sucked cuz all he did was sit there with his electric guit out. wait, sorry. the guit wasnt even his. he sat there. the thing unplugged. i dont think there were enuff amps and he pretended to strum. it was so obvious he just wanted to show off. man. i know fer a fact jen and i wanted to kick his head. hahah. and we almost stole that guit. danial played wonderfully but i really wish someone wud deflate his ego. its bigger than he is. he had this really assholic look on his face while he played. we all know he plays well but why the shitty face man? the reast cudnt sing and i think craig din turn on the amp when he played the bass. cuz we din hear anything from him. hurhur. mr yu din relli like their perf. but since there were only 3 other classes which auditioned [like wtf?], he let them in. after they performed again.
*5.1*
they were undoubtedly the best klaz. they had pails, metal buckets, poles and whatnots and did a STOMP thing. the beat was fantastic. i was fucken awed. i know they'll outshine the rest of the classes with their originality.
*4.3*
we went out there. we had fun. and we're in! hahah. life is gud. yazid rawked and rolled. literally rolled. heeeee~
anyone has any Force Vomit songs? cuz i only haf seven and i want more. yeh. im that addicted. do they have a cd? i'd like to buy that. its stupid that bands bordering on mediocrity gets record deals and more recognition like Pug Jelly and the better bands out there goes unnoticed. but it wud suck if they went mainstream. the feel will be lost. it just doesnt feel the same.
its like when u peel stickers off MRT trains and buses and escalators. its not the same as buying them or getting someone else to do it fer you. the peeling off is what that makes it fun and the sticker is the fruit of ur labour. ahahah. i guess the discovering of these bands is what makes it fun. its a nice feeling. u know what im talking about?
syaf_12:00 PM
[0] comments
naaaadiiiiiiiiiaaaaaaaaaaaa
20040813
HOW DARE YOU, YOU BEEEEEEEETCH!!! HOW CAN YOU TAKE AWAY MY TOM DELONGE AWAAAAAAYYYYYY?? HE WAS THE PERFECT UGLY GUY!!! *whines and screams* *sticks pins into doll representing nadia* HE'S MMMMMMIIIIINNNNE!!! HOW CAN YOU HOW CAN YOU HOW CAN YOU??? HE WAS THE ONE GUY I TRULY HAD A CRUSH ONNNN!!! GGRRRGGH!! *bites voodoo doll's head off*
hahah. that was fun. letting it all out like that. but im still sore. i mean, how can you steal someone's else's beloved LIKE THAT?? i was just about to gush bout deLonge and before i cud say another word nadia sed,"i take him" how irritating is that??? hahahah. i am deprived.
oh yes. i'd like to twart someone.
ANG. DIE LA. U FAT CHIKOPEK.
that wud be all. am i gonna get into trouble? heh. stupid sia. how can they tell us what NOT to write in our blogs?? it is OURS. we have RIGHTS to say WHATEVER THE HELL WE WANT. well. whatever. im just so glad im leaving. too bad fer the future andersonians. they wont know what hit them.
i miss you. i do hope you know that.
syaf_8:35 PM
[0] comments
~in love~
20040812
i am so in love with
force vomit right now. no idea why. dont ask me. guess im spastik. *waves at vanessa* hahah.
siti is the best song so far.
[argh. im such a klutz today. klutzier than usual. spilled water lerr. ah. nehmind. water evaporates]
girl, interrupted was so deep and i commend angelina fer doing a fantastic job. if she intended to scare, she succeeded. winona rawked. absolutely loved her hair. yummy.
mrs goh is so merepek today. she demanded explanations from those who din attend her extra lesson last week, yes, me inclusive. duh. i crapped something bout not seeing the point of coming since i knew i wasnt going to pay attention. the five minutes i spent explaining myself was very depressing.
i kept feeling tears welling up. hahah. mrs goh is
THAT ugly...
chemistry. well. what can i say. its just like that laa. mrs huynh ever so crazy. and yarh. not motivating arr. whatever lah.
*dont give up oh siti dont give up*
2 more months and it will all be fucking overrrr!!! yesssaaaaRRRR!!! the moment i have been waiting for is finally in sight. this is it. no more looking back. yessar yessar yessar. i'll be so fucken damn glad to be out of the bleeding pinafore and into a fresh, smart, neat JC uniform. yeh man. no more irritating plaids. no more irritating belts. no more blouse crumpling up underneath the pinafore. weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~ life suddenly smells sweeter.
and i'll finally be able to do the one thing i love the most. art. ahhh...
ya ALLAH ya Tuhanku... SYUKUR ALHAMDULLILLAH.
syaf_7:09 PM
[0] comments
Girl, Interrupted
20040811
Based on a true story of a depressed teen. Susanna Kaysen attempts a suicide and lands herself in Claymore. She befriends a band of troubled women, each with very deep and traumatising stories to tell. Georgina is a pathological liar, Daisy wont eat in front of other people, Polly had been badly scarred in a fire and there's Lisa is the wildest and the most hardened of the lot who is also the most influential.
its showing tonight at
10 pm on channel i. MUST WATCH. i might go and find the book. it sounds very interesting. hurhur. and i love winona's hair. that rawked.
syaf_3:52 PM
[0] comments
first day
20040810
i hate menstruation. i hate the cramps, i hate the pads. i hate everything bout it.
as disgusting as sex can get, at least it can be called beautiful. but how bout beautiful first days? walking around is pure torture as paranoia haunts you. you keep thinking that blood has seeped thru ur pants despite the supposed comfort and security from the sanitary pad. then u begin to wonder if a dark red patch of blood is already forming on whatever your ass is on. its alright if you're at home cuz you've always got the bed to lie down on but when you're out in public, nothing can save you from the sense of insecurity u'll feel the whole time.
the first few hours isnt so bad but it gets progressively worse as walking is reduced to shuffling cuz you'll feel like you've just pissed yourself and if u were to part ur legs the thick blood will just come pouring down. once you sit down, u never want to get up cuz the wetness u feel down there is so undescribably disgusting if u were to get up.
the cramps just add on to the fun u're having. u think that the pain cant get any worse. WRONG. on second days, u'll feel like u NEVER WANT TO GET UP. EVER. its like u're swimming in blood and the pain just wont go away no matter how much u curse and swear. tears of anguish will roll down your cheeks and u'll feel like you want to die. "dont eat the pills. its not good," they say. and they leave you there to suffer alone. imagine u've just been rammed with a pole- down there. thats what we feel.
lets not begin on the imbalanced hormones. thats a whole new story altogether. menstruation is already hell as it is. we dont need to feel like crying and killing everyone at the same time for one second and hugging everyone in the next.
i've got skul tomorrow. it'll be my second day. good.
syaf_5:44 PM
[0] comments
morning
i really want to put up this song by tsunami bomb but iwebmusic isnt cooperating wit me. ooorgh.. wth. nehmind. some other day then.
singapore idol was a blast! i was luffing my ass off. it
sooooooooooooooooo BAAAAAAAD. hahahahahahaha.... i din noe that there were so many
"talented" people out there. eke. you shud haf watched it to know what im getting at. hahah. there we were, celebrating the nation's 39th birthday.. all of us standing tall [not me. i was sitting bored] and filled with undescribable pride. then came these singaporean twats who just had to
"sing" and spoil it. hahahah. man. those people really had thick skins. and that girl who cried even before she sang.. she totally
pissed me off. the
lemon tree dood was very entertaining. gawd. what were these people thinking. were they that bored?
im for the sway lady and the pink dude. hahah. yes. very brave of him to say that on national television. i cant wait to watch the next episode. hahahahah. cuz banana man is sooooooooo
BUSTED. aaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaha.
how lovely.
It's nice to know that you were there
Thanks for acting like you care
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done
syaf_7:10 AM
[0] comments
HAPPY NATIONAL DAY
20040809
Barbie as Rapunzel
1.30pm
Kids Central
TODAY
and uh. happy birthday singapore. blahdeeda
i want to redesign the blog template but im lacking muse. muuuuuse.. come to meeeee... stupid muse. hmmmmmmm... im tired of pink. i want change. mebbe i shud go back liking blue or something. or worst still. . purple. . hahah. . jk jk. . chill yati.
aiyargh. wish i had a digicam. i reeeelllliiiiiii want a digicam... it'd be uber kul. i'll take pics of dustbins and stuffSS. shuddup. im weird. but not as weird as some people. hahah...
syaf_10:21 AM
[0] comments
frust
20040806
i am feeling very frustrated right now.
i want
OUT.
suffocation within my
OWN SKIN.
i dont like this sense of unrest
and untimely angst.
the
ithiness u cant scratch away
screaming my lungs out wont help
angry tears
WONT FLOW.
sadness surrounds me.
trust me. this will all end.
DO YOU EVEN FUCKING CARE...
i dont wanna say anything more. i just want my sense of freedom back. and im NOT talking bout skul or parents. up to you if you want to guess. i went through it once before but unlike then, i can take it this time. i wont be emotionally destroyed cuz in the end, i know i'll still be standing and doing what i do best [if i were a guy, that wud be pissing. hahah. im a girl so i guess i'll squat. ahahahaha.]
i was in the library reading bout skinheads. really ABOUT skinheads. it was a novel by john king called
HUMAN PUNK. it was alright even tho the wrting style was weird. i was contemplating whether to *BORROW* it annot, but i wont take my chances this time. im still recovering from the last time i *BORROWED* tho nothing happened.
cant wait fer National Day. cuz at 1.30 there will be
"Barbie as Rapunzel". It is a definite
MUST-WATCH. i
HEART no-brainers.
syaf_5:45 PM
[0] comments
~lazy afternoons~
20040805
5 marks have been minused off my literature paper because i chose to skip her lesson today... whhhhyyyyy... owell... too bad. i aint crying~
vector test today was a killer. at least i managed to do the last question. betol ke tak wallahualam. heeeeeesh... listen to me... im toking like he- heheks.. nothing... *skips away*
*no more talk about skulwork. stress*
i played on my guitar after so long. there is improvement. yay! ahakz. i now can play a whole song standing. you have to understand.. the guitar isnt exactly the lightest thing and definitely not something u want to carry around like a handbag. im very proud of myself.. nyahahah. but now my wrist hurts.
oooH.. we got our "anderson yeah!" shirts today. it is so lame. i know. be thankful you arent in anderson.. i expected it to be uglier.. so yarh.. im kul wit it... everyone is forced to wear it tmr. well, at least we'll all look stupid together... ahahakz. but im definitely definitely NOT wearing it outside skul... but i lazy to bring bag arr... haiyahh.. nevermind ar.. i thick skin... stare ah stare!like i care.. nyahaha..
the bloody councillor who designed it must be feeling veriiii proud of herself right now. congratulations bitch. you just made our skul look stupider.
my
lips have gone dry again....
syaf_5:13 PM
[0] comments
everyday i blog || i blog everyday
20040804
ono ono ono ono ono ono ono ono ono ono ono ono ono ono ono ono ono ono ono ono ono ono..... omg noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
no, im not having problems with blogger... i have
soSiAL studies tomorrow! oh DANG~ it wudnt be so bad had i not sed
"eeee chikopek" loud enuff for mr neo to hear.... now he knows i think he's a chikopek and im so afraid he's gonna give me hell tomorrow. that would mean i hafta pay attention! *tries to run*
nvm. i'll brave it out and give him my best
"what the hell you toking bout" look.
desmond is getting
ANNOYING. i used to pity him but now im slowly beginning to
HATE him. *kalau da bodo, buat hal bodo. dun act all bitchy. cuz thats all u're capable of- ACT. oh wait... mebbe NOT. nyahahahah. he's so touchy.
*petty petty boy i hate yooouu* im not mean am i?
erms. eke whutevaaa.. hmmmm.. my secret's out. i hope no one gives me away. cuz ang would sit on me till i become **penyek..
less than 2 more days and less than 3 more months. im dying wit anticipation. bring it onn maaaaN.
*kalau da bodo, buat hal bodo: if you're stupid, dont act clever...
**penyek: flat
syaf_7:38 PM
[0] comments
m&m s
20040803
mmmmm.. tsunami bomb is sho yummy.. their sound is sho yummy. i bet agent M is yummy too... *licks lips* heheks..
argh. i hate that new bitch. what? does she have a sodding tree stuck up her ass? she was so bloody annoying. if she keeps up that kind of attitude, she will die young. i'll make sure she has the whole bloody forest up her ass when she does. who the hell was she to tell us that our work sucked? she's new and she's jolly well not our physics teacher. badan sekeping muke penyek mate terbelalak. [translation: stick body flat face bulging eyes] serious sak. aku rase jin aprett pon takot tengok muke die.
*rolls eyes*
stupid young teachers. they all look the same. rebonded hair. clothes from This Fashion or Mango [depends on which one sells cheaper nyonya-material clothing]. weird voices. no sense of originality whatsoever. NIE sucked the life out of these mutants. they look dead all the time. fer fuck's sake.. try to be different laa. put on weight. perm your hair or something. it scares me to think that the future generations' lives are in their hands. talk about ultimate boredom. and MOE blames the students fer not doing well. heh.
where's your sense of fuuunnnnnnnn peopleeeee???
syaf_7:20 PM
[0] comments
manifestasi
20040801
GRRGH. pissed off wit muh parents. like wt*? they're mad at me for making them worried? if they're so worried, why din they pick me up? malas kan kan kan?? BAH.
i shall not waste blogging space on rants bout my parents. waste of time and makes. me. so.
MAD. *takes deep breath*
just came back from the other side of singapore [that being tampines] from a malay drama at TPJC- alone. honestly, it was dry and UBER boring. mainly because the choice of language. they chose to speak PROPER malay. like wt*? 3/4 of the audience din understand wth they were saying more than half the time. it wasnt that it was hard to understand but the way they articulated the words made me wanna
sleep in my own blood vomit. and half the time i was comparing them to the AJC performance i saw last year. for two whole hours, i was laughing non-stop. and i have a problem wit the backdrop. if u ask me to do a better one, i *will*.
dikir was a blast. the ghrrls looked like srikandis and the guys.. hahakz. maaan.. kekek sak. it was one of a kind and highly enjoyable.. the ghrrls awok-awok sounded gud and their tukang karot sang well. she had a nice voice. so yahh.. the gud points bout the whole thing. khai was one of the awok2.. dier gelek.. masyallah. lawa beb. hahakz. suke dier gelek. he acted a bit in the play too and yah.. gelek all the way man. and yes, he was undoubtedly the shortest of them all.. nyuahuahaha.. me n nad were the same height as him.
[gelek: shake*yehh. shake it! shake it!*]
hmmmm.. i took 969 home and there was this middle-aged guy who kept talking to me. he wanted to sit next to me but i din let him. so he sat behind. he was harmless, he din ask anyfink personal. we ackchellie discussed education in singapore and more women having jobs than men. and he kept telling to not forget my faith. [he claimed to be a religous teacher teaching in madrasahs and mosques. how the hell u expect me to bilif that? he was talking. to. me.] all the while i kept praying to god that the dood wasnt satan in disguise. erks.
he got off at sembawang thankfully, but before that he gave me advice about my faith. man. i just smiled and nodded politely. and after he got off, i took out my eyeballs and made a huge circle wit them. so yehh thats about it. imma eat now.
everytime i breathe, i think of you, your hugs and your warmth. i miss you.
syaf_12:12 AM
[0] comments
morning
20040731
i haf no idea why i am awake at this hour. maybe becuz something has been on my mind lately and its bothering the shyt out of me. or maybe subconciously, i want to do maths! at this hour! ]i shall rule this out. who is THAT perky in the morning? eke. me. -___-"]
yesterday went well. EFL was a blast. cuz we so slammed the sec 2 girls who sang When You Believe. they reeked. period. heee.. Fifa's band rawked and i almost cried when she left the stage. It made me think about how much i'll miss her. like how im missing my seniors namely, nizam, kak sayidah and her batch. ooooH.. and senah spoke english and unsurprisingly, everyone was luffing at her. Ang-Pao came in and he was like,"If you dont pay attention, we will repeat everything." That totally cracked me up cuz it'd b so fucken painful to hear senah repeat everything.... "you cannot knock on the door more than tRee times. Knock.Knock.Knock"
after we had our career talk and i attended the one on JC lecturers. The lecturer they called in was from YJC. She was frighteningly bubbly. She kinda freaked me out. but the talk was very informative and it made me think about my choice of careers...
~presenting my favourite band of the moment~
i haf a thing for bands wit female lead singers. im *not* les... *plays wit fringe*
syaf_4:49 AM
[0] comments
Always
20040729
cut the skin to the bone
fall asleep all alone
hear your voice in the dark
lose myself in your eyes
choke my voice
say gudnyte as the world falls apart
fuck i cant let this kill me let go
i need some more time to fix this
here's a letter for you
but the words get confused
and the conversation dies
apologise fer the past
talk some shit take it back
are we cursed to this life
ahh. the sounds of me typing away and the wind blowing against my hair. erms. not much hair to begin with. nevermind. i just have short-cropped hair and *am* not balding.
ooH.. Happi Barfday Des. hope u haf a sweet sweeeeet sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeet sixteenth barfday. wahahazkz.. singing to u the bday song wenever we cud.. must have annoyed the shyt out of you. hahahakz.. all in the joys of growing up.
yes. 43 is gonna do soft porn for the grad ball vid. that wud be the shyt. nopes. am not gonna display details here. partly becuz there is none in the first place. wahahahakz. man. cant wait. im gonna star in my own vid klip!! *screams* AHEM. nono.. jk jk.. that was scary.. any longer i wud haf terjerumus ke dalam lembah ke-bimbo-an [translation: .. i wud haf fallen into bimbo hell-hole]
haiz. i wanna kiss tom delonge... he's so hotttttttttt... O__#... eke. i donno where that came from. tom is not hot at any rate. hahakz... he's just. so. kissable. ahahahahakz... i am delirious. mebee becuz im stressed. LeT mE irrItATe YOu.. StIcKy CaPs ARe IrrItaTinG. ArE You StIll ReAdInG? ThOugHt NoTTT. lmao..
stressed out.. depressed all over. heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~ i dun show it do I?? thats cuz im a damnation gud actress.. BELIEVE IT OR NOT. i dun give a flying fuuuuuuUUuuUUUuuUUUuuUUUuuUUUuuUUUuuuUUUuuCK about whut u think of me cuz the tears that fall will be from MY EYES and the blood gushing out will be from MY VEINS.
ohh-reng- raaaang... herher... *here's a song to this guy i once knew in high skul. he had a boner and he was wearing sweatpants so it was relli embarrassing...* EVERYTHING HAS FALLEN TO PIECES. *runs away crying*
i relli have nothing to say. im done. we're outta jokes.
syaf_7:48 PM
[0] comments
im screwed
20040728
am at MOELC library now.. wahahakz. kulio. im some ghrrl called siti from 2Gsomethingidonnowhat. hmmmm.. weirdos at either side of me. *excluding kannan who's next to me now..or mebbe nottt.. nyuahuahaha* lower sec weirdos. hahahahakz.....
tell me.. light blue is so gay. lmao. nahh.. just kidding..
im supposed to be finishing my werk right now so yesh.. i will be going off soon. i relli like my spray-painted bag even tho its relli screwed-up and stinks of spray paint.. heeeeee~ i liked today and yesterday alot... cuz i sat next to jihan.. i relli like sitting there but too bad i cant permanently. the lighting is gud and i concentrate better.
well, this siti has gotta go cram her head with useless maths formulae now. so tata~
down in the valley
where the green grass grows
there lives a lady without her clothes..
big were her breasts,
small was her hole,
down came the panties and
up came the-
hahakz.. joey wu's song... lovely isnt it...
byeeeeee~
*ooh..before that.. head on to The Confession Project. Its all about people and their drrrrrty confessions.. [there's a guy who raped his dog] hahakz.. check out the comments people give.. rawks ass..*
syaf_5:32 PM
[0] comments
hey~ho
20040727
hello there
the angel from my nightmare
the shadow in the background of the morgue
the unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley
we can live like jack and sally
if we want
where you can always find me
hey diq. i miss you. smile...for yourself and others around you. X)
hmm.. are there any rants today? *puts two fingers on either side of head* hmm.. no rants.. i dont think i haf anything to rant about.. oooH.. nadia POwweeRR. wahahakz. she totally killed that sec one mofo. he was being bloody brave fer someone that small. she totally told him off.. "fuck off la u basterd!!" maaaN.. the look on that thing's face.. CLASSIC. *and the crowd goes wild*
lmao.. funny shit. get this. seniors can never be nice to juniors. its the law of the jungle. geddit? its just IT. nothing to it. its the way things have been and UNTIL someone is set on fire, the exchange of glares and profanities will never cease. instilling fear into the souls of people younger than us is our duty. and soon it will be yours too. everyone goes thru it.
but then, *be surprised* there are exceptions. not all seniors are bleeding bitches waiting to pounce like acne-ed witches on little children and not all juniors are irritating buggers. we do forge interesting relationships and thats why we will miss some of our juniors. namely... fifa... *dun think i'll miss the other sopranos as much* huhooo.. and i dunno what life will be like wifout johnny.. heheks. that boi is bloody cute. be good u hear? i can so see him as a handsome tenor. *melts*
hmm.. im about to spray-paint my bag. so yesh.. toodles~
we'll have halloween on christmas
and in the night, we'll wish this never ends.
we'll wish this never ends.
syaf_8:52 PM
[0] comments
sodding perfectionist at work
20040725
heeee....~ i relli like the new color of muh template. this is the best template i have ever worked with. its small, neat and compact. by the looks of it, i could be describing JIN yong's butt. wait, he has no butt. right.
hmm.. i am aware that im not the only one who cikgu assigned to read Jentayu. i beg your pardon for saying this but it sucks.
i have no idea how that guy could have won the contest. it lacks a plot. so technically, its not a short story. it was about this boy who was determined in finding out the truth about the jentayu [a mythical bird whose legend i have never heard before. apparently it saved earth and disappeared] along wit 2 other girls who believed in its existance. they did weeks or research and finally found out that it actually did exist and not just a myth.
so what do you think? great story huh.. it is so full of suspense that i was DYING to know what was gonna happen in the end... *takes eyes out and waves them in HUGE circle. how bout that for rolling my eyes* well, dude. sorry. your story sucked. the only thing i benefited from it would be the good usage of vocab. and the rest... just reeked, ok?
I ABHORRR THE SENSUALITE COMMERCIAL. IT FUCKING REEKS. I HAVE A GUD MIND TO CALL THEM UP AND BOMB THEM WITH VULGARITIES. what IS UP WIT the cheesy music.. and the bloody bitches going,"i used to be so fat" *holds up her father's pants which she pretends to be hers* and "its very EffEcTiVe". maaaaaaaaN. if only i had the liscence to kill. i wud seeeeeriousleeeee keeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel them. grrrrrrrGH. and their "before" pictures. it is so fucking clear that they took some other girls' pix.... GOD. we are not stupid. you are.
that gets me so fucking worked up E-VER-Y SINGLE TIME. i'll make sure i'll call them up and slam them.
WOOOSH... im glad thats out of my system. that would have spoi- omg. i just remembered. there's skul tomorrow.. *runs away*
syaf_8:03 PM
[0] comments
Happi Barfday sweets....
there are three people whom i like to wish happy barfday to:
PUTRI: 1 year old today
XiU PiNG: 16 years old today
ghazali: 18 years old today
wheeee~ i hope they will have a blessed year ahead...
syaf_9:40 AM
[0] comments
huhoo
20040724
so... what do you think.. nice right? [most of you prolly saw it befo entering this blog. but just in case.. heheh] right right?? GRR. its nice. u better agree wit me u bloody mofo. lmao. im screwing ya.. hmm.. i know there are people like you who can draw better than THAT. but hey.. give me a break. i've onli bin on this thing fer a few months. so yeh.. stay tuned fer better drawings.. *bloody proud of myself*
man.. y does my window hafta face the toilet windows? its like hmm.. u open the window to my room and u can see a nice view of like the estate across the road.. and like a bit of the MRT track and then it hits you. the damn smell. im lucky in doesnt happen often. thank god hot air sinks.
syaf_4:56 PM
[0] comments
i dont know what to think anymore.
ever felt sharp pain in your chest but you dont know whats causing it? its getting quite common for me nowadays. i just feel like taking my heart out and running it over wit a bus. then i will be numb and i wun be able to feel anything. i will be dead.
we are growing further and further apart. i feel sad that we are. whats gonna happen to us? suddenly im not so sure anymore. i cant find it in me to laugh it out like i always do. staring into space is not fun anymore. cuz i will be thinking and evryone knows i hate thinking when there is no reason fer me to think. my nights wun the same anymore. not without you. i remembered it was...fun.
fun isnt it reading bout other people's lives? i know this entry is a lot more fun to read than all my other entries cuz im not talking to myself, i am not laughing every 5 words and im not trying to crack any lame joke.
i've been feeling like this for too long. i dont think its pms anymore.
syaf_5:00 AM
[0] comments
o.O
20040722
i feel like doing maths. suddenly. o_#" is skul as per normal tomorrow? huhoo.. look. its 12 hurs and 3 minutes since i last blogged... [syaf, u're a bleeding geek. here, bleed summore]...
syaf_9:16 PM
[0] comments
just a thought.
anarchism: Rejection of all forms of coercive control and authority
they conquer our everyday lives. they make us do what we dont want to do. they destroy our hopes and dreams. they distort our very being. they talk about democracy. their definition of democracy: fight us and you will die. they condemn those who protest for a better change. youths are oppressed and conformed. we are forced out of our rights. we are looked down upon as the nation's downfall just because we dare to think different and for once not follow their orders. they have the highest of all degrees and earn the highest of all pays. why cant they rethink it all and give us what we rightly deserve? hippie scumbags. all we want is to say out what we think its right without being slammed and our souls taken away. if you just come out of your sad little world and see it from our point of view. yes, believe it or not, you came out from that hole.
can you see that they are bringing about their own downfall? we go to their schools learn their *politically correct* version of everything. but what they dont realise is that there is a whole breed of us who grow up thinking the opposite of what they haf always believed in. as we learn more about them, we learn more about bringing them down.
politiks suck. its just bleeding screwed up.
by the way. take note of the time and the day. wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~ and guess where i am... still dont get it? nyuahuahauahaHAH... *SKIPS away happily*
miss you.
syaf_9:13 AM
[0] comments
there has to be more than just making out right?
20040721
*headbangs* there are things that used to make me smile. one of them was YOU but just a little while. u left me there so far away. i replaced you with FEAR and SHAME. u'd be happy on the day i die.
i am so relieved yet saddened. today is the last day of the exams. dang~. imma miss the exams. its the onli time we get to go home before the sun sets. haiyargh. now its bec to the old boring timetable. *dies* hmm i wanna get myself a minah bag. huhooo.. i dunno what u kal it. its just a bag...that minahs carry. uh. right. im not saying it as an insult. its just that i donno what type of bag u kal it and most minahs carry it. *frust*
hmm does anyone want to borrow a hot pink cheongsam fer fiday? i haf this hot pink cheongsam *hits head. duh* and i've decided not to wear it. it fits me better now than 2 yrs ago cuz 2 yrs ago i was lacking mammary glands. lol. but i dun wanna wear it cuz body-hugging arr and ums. nice body i do not haf. so yehh. beep boop me if u wanna borrow it. *i haf completely no idea how i cud haf worn it to skul 2 yrs ago. man. thick skin sia*
huhooo.. nad just saved me like $10++ cuz she suggested creating my own fishnets instead of buying them. like create the hole by muhself by running a needle thru it.. hehehehes.. cant wait.
syaf_2:53 PM
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pms-ing
20040720
i think i was pms-ing. mebbe i still am. but i feel a lot better now than i was last night.
afta chem paper, which i inevitably screwed, me, nadia, ferlyn, yati and kannan headed to town for lunch. me and nad bought inedible foodstuffs from the carrot cake stall. the food looked suspicious but i ate more than half niways. nad lost her appetite and poured the foul-smelling chilli sauce all over her kuey teow before saying,"oops cannot eat already" lol.
we spent the next half hour or so discussing sex while reading Her World magazine. its weird to think that singaporeans have sex lives. o_O. cannot imagine those husbands and wives getting jiggy wit the horizontal boogie. kul. sounds like a rhyme. *lets get jiggie wiggie down wit the horizontal boogie.* [horizontal boogie: sex.]
discussed hell, resurrection, afterlife and all the scary things you wouldnt wanna think about. we headed to HMV after that. basically went round the place listening to everything we cud. yellowcard's album rocks. so does the vines's, and breaking benjamin's. nad and i jammed wit our air-guitars and invisible drums while listening to breaking benjamin. they sound like a mix of LP and Papa Roach.
i checked out the casualties and punk-o-rama. okay laa. but not relli a fan of any of the songs. we heard this relli weird song called dog on sidewalk and it was like techno tak jadik. lol. and another one called punk rock academy. it was anything but punk. it sounded so bloody pop... no comments.
after looking at all the nice album covers and getting ideas for new blog templates, we headed on home and on the train met mat skudai. wahahaakz. he was sum dude who looked like he borrowed sum cheapo wig and wore a hairband to kip it in place. rambot curly plak tu. the worst thing was he had chest hair and proudly showed it off. man. thank god no taps.
syaf_5:35 PM
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*syaf has really left this blog. she wont be blogging anytime soon so dont bother coming back.*
syaf_3:31 AM
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20040719
i haf nothing to say go away.
i haf nothing to say go away.
i haf nothing to say go away.
i haf nothing to say go away.
i haf nothing to say go away.
i haf nothing to say go away.
i haf nothing to say go away.
i haf nothing to say go away.
i haf nothing to say go away.
i haf nothing to say go away.
i haf nothing to say go away.
i haf nothing to say go away.
i haf nothing to say go away.
i haf nothing to say go away.
i haf nothing to say go away.
i haf nothing to say go away.
i haf nothing to say go away.
i haf nothing to say go away.
i haf nothing to say go away.
i haf nothing to say go away.
i haf nothing to say go away.
i haf nothing to say go away.
i haf nothing to say go away.
syaf_11:50 AM
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jamming alone can be erms... lonely.
i am feeling very happy. euphoric. its been a very long time since i get to go home this early [is it get or got?] now, im playing my guitar alone. sho funnnnn. i mean it. cuz im playing an easy song. wahahaks.. shweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeTs. TOM DELONGE!!!!!! he's my bf now and forever. nYuAHuuaAHAHAH. sod off miz jenkins. ur husband's MINE.
hahahakz. told u im euphoric. hmmm.. i sat in bk jez now after the paper and had a very nice breakfast. i need to spend more time alone cuz *i think i have been neglecting myself fer too long already*. i jez nid to get away from it all and lose myself in my own werld. hmmm.. how does thursday sound dear? *talks to self* we can skip skul and jez sit somewhere. great? eke. kul.
hehehehhehehekz. i hear me. laadeedaa.
syaf_11:11 AM
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*smiles*
eke. i am mad. its 1++ in the morning and im smiling all by myself. what? cant a ghrrl be happy and not feel guilty for that? hahakz. see. im not making any sense. i have emaths paper later. and yes. that too i will screw.
DiQ! You crazee bitch. wahahaHAH. main-main jer. im the crazee bitch. miss you lots.
Riot!Riots in our cities fucking Riots at your schoolsRiots in this country we fucking Riot just for youRiot! Riot! Riot! Riot!Riots in your city fucking Riots at your schoolsRiot! Riot! Riot! Riot!Riots in our cities fucking Riots at your schools(2x)Riots in this country we fucking Riot just for youRiot for the punx, fucking Riots everywhereRiot in the streets, fucking Riots of todayRiot! Riot! Riot! Riot! Riots in our cities fucking Riots at your schoolsRiot! Riot! Riot!Riots in our cities fucking Riots at your schools(2x)Riots in this country we fucking Riot just for youRiot for the punx, fucking Riots everywhereRiot in the streets, fucking Riots of todayRiots in our cities fucking Riots at your schoolsRiots in this country we fucking Riot just for youRiot for the punx, fucking Riots everywhereRiot in the streets, fucking Riots of todayriot! riot! riot! riot!....
hurhur...<3
syaf_1:04 AM
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asking for it
20040718
nadia sent me a very nice song by foo fighters- walking after you. yarms. she changed her blog template again. its v naaiiisshh. wheeeeeee~
right now addicted to lemonade. the song. *u gave me shit and i made lemonade out of it. pass me the sugar and things sill wun be riiiiiight* lemonade by tsunami bomb.
Thanks! Thanks for nothing!
I've taken all you got and started walking.
Not broken. still standing.
Been ripped apart, but now I'm demanding
No more shit. this is it
I am leaving for myself and no one else
So long. been swell.
see you in hell!
thats prolly what SATAN is saying right now. whoakay. gotta get sum studying done. life is so bloody boring. cursing and swearing is part of a bleeding routine and it doesnt make me feel gud like it did before. i hate being 16 and the responsibilty that comes with it.
syaf_4:51 PM
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minahlogy
20040717
wow. i relli hate blogger's new template. it sucks. i cant even put up my klaz pic. which i have already uploaded. they keep telling me the fucken tag is not closed. sial.
im going out lata today to mit up wit annas and HUDA. *yay* somehow that sounded sarcastik. im relli excited cuz annas keeps toking bout her every chance he gets. and yeh. she sounds like a relli kul ghrrl. so im anxious to meet her.
*menjerit dalam kesepian* why cant the 'o's be over already.
what does it take to be haf ur own t-shirt company? i think owning ur own t-shirt label will be uber kul. i'd kal mine "minahlogy: the unexplained" wahaha. i just dun get what being a minah is. enlighten me sumone. and im serious. dun gif me shit like "ouh.. just look at yourself.." cuz then, i STILL wun noe what a minah is and i WiLL continue to annoy you by being something i am totally clueless about. so its fer yer own gud.
me saving $$. cuz my frens' barfdays are cuming up. [and i nid to buy pressies fer 2 people whose barfdays i missed. hehez. sori kak, achik.] i wanna get relli kul stuffies fer muh frens. nyeheheh. i LoVE my frens. i'll miss them terribly..
[nadia]"mane tau nanti ko masok klaz, sumer org ngah "groff groff" goyang-goyang kaki.." hahahakz. man. i'll miss this whacked catty chiqa.
syaf_8:33 AM
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you'd be happy the day i die.
20040715
*luffs out loud in the darkness* i am delirious. the papers jez now were unbelievably easy that i am very certain i SCREWED it. i completely SCREWED it. screwed up girl in screwed up world screwed up her screwed up exams.
i
WAS about to sing words of praises to whisper fer the lovely new PiNK packaging of their latest design in packaging fer pads when i realised i payed $4.80 too much. unnecessary packaging makes the pad difficult to put on. too much time taken. by the time u get to it u'd be
pissing blood.
think menstruation's disgusting? u BET. the pads just ease our bleeding pain.
i am in love wit Agent M. her voice is so vintaged. i just cant help but think of the 60s when i listen to her sing. [she's the lead singer of tsunami bomb]
tsunami BOMB: mushy love song
For our first date
We went to Denny's
We saw my grandma there and
She said she liked your spiky hair
I was so shy
'Cause you are such a handsome guy
I liked you all that time and
And now you really are mine
Mushy love song
Sing along
But don't think I'm a wussie
Love songs
Can be stupid
But for you, kid
I will sing a mushy love song
We had the time
We watched t.v. and played K.I.
You are my very best friend
Your dad got a new job and then
You moved away
My car broke down on my birthday
You told me it would be alright
I had to stay the night
Mushy love song
Sing along
But don't think I'm a wussie
Love songs
Can be stupid
But for you, kid
I will sing a mushy love song
Oh, oh, oh
But then you moved across the country
Oh, oh, oh
It's for the best but I'm still selfish me
And we're both sitting all alone
Now I am sitting all alone
We'll make it through
'Cause you love me and I love you
Even though we're eight states apart
I hold you close in my heart
Mushy love song
Sing along
But don't think I'm a wussie
Love songs
Can be stupid
But for you, kid
I will sing a mushy love
Mushy love song
Sing along
But don't think I'm a wussie
Love songs
Can be stupid
But for you, kid
I will sing a mushy...
Love...
Song.
syaf_6:47 PM
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sedentary: not moving around alot.
i screwed amaths paper yesterday. it was relatively do-able but i wasted my chance. i left many questions blank- like always. english paper 2 was okay. but i think my summary lacked points. and i crapped the meanings of words. *shrugs* too bad its over.
i am now studying geography. never have i studied so much within a period of less than 24 hours. and i am praying that the facts stay in my head and not walk out on me once i enter the hall later. i am drawing to help me remember points but i am cracking my head wondering what to draw to represent them.
nothing interesting now. *duh-uh. its like 1 am in the morning* i'll blog later.
syaf_12:57 AM
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finch: letters to you
20040713
cant you see
that i wanna be
there wit open arms
its empty tonight
and im all alone
get me thru this one
do you notice
im gone
where do u run to?
so far away
i want you to noe that i miss you
i miss you so
i want you to noe that
i miss you
i miss u so
im writing again
these letters to you
arent much i noe
but im not sleeping
and ure not here
the thought stops my heart
do u notice im gone
where do u run to?
so far away
i want u to know that
i miss you
i miss you so
i want u to know that
i miss you
i miss you so
i want you to know that
i miss you
i miss you so
i want u to know that
i miss you
i miss you so
no more looking i've found her
want you to know that i MISS you
MISS you so
i want you to know that
i miss you
i miss you so
i want you to know that
i miss you
i miss you so
[whoa-oh...]
im going away
im going away
remember Leon? [he's that cute ex-5|1 dude.] he was the vocalist fer his band, Leon. They did this song fer Teachers' Day 2002. Remember Farhan wit the bass and him whoa-ing in the background? it ruled. period.
syaf_6:20 PM
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it was strong, outstanding and dominant. lmao.
20040712
sat down at the canteen afta skul today and did a bit of ss. I HATE THAT STUPID SEC ONE. he kept making the kissing noise. my guess was he wanted to call sumone but when i turned to look at him, he had a stoinked look on his face and happily making that shit-annoyin sound.
then went to bk at orchard wit nad. felt kind of guilty cuz i shud be studying. but we had funn.. we saw lotsa interesting people. the werld is filled wit them and majority of those in singapore are in orchard. so yehh. ate and people-watched. like always we wud discuss anything and everything that happens to be in our heads at the moment. we never run out of things to talk about. strange isnt it. i'll miss that girl. who can undertsnad my horrid english better than her? lmao. but i dont think that was the case when we were discussing nipples. *dun ask*
and yes yati. everytime a bird flew by, we wud think about how you wud be so freaked. hahakz. so yes. we wished u were there.
we smiled at this cute boy. cuz he smiled at us rather cutely. even tho he was wearing tapered.
i wish lunchtime is like that everyday.
syaf_7:57 PM
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sunday morning. closer to doom
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